Hey there!

Iím a 21m from South Africa, and Iíve been carrying out this flirtation with a 21f in the Netherlands for about 4 months now. Basically, Iím a textbook overthinker, and I really need some honest advice on this situation. I donít have anywhere to turn to!

So, this girl and I were good friends for a while (sheís South African, and moved over about 3 years ago) and lost contact when she moved over. However, I was awarded a scholarship to study in the Netherlands in 2021, and so, as I was going to be there, we re established contact in December 2019.

Things progressed fairly quickly...weíve been flirty with each other, had a whole lot of deep conversations ranging from personal philosophy to what weíd look for in life partners, sharing memes, speaking daily with voicenotes...sheís certainly the closest person in my life, and, if sheís to be believed, I am as well. Even now, under quarantine, weíve made opportunities to watch movies together, play quizzes online, shared poems and writing...

My dilemma lies in this: Sheís studying heavily for her exams at the moment, and so for the past week or so her vibe has been really different. She doesnít text me first or at all unless I initiate, and when she does reply, itís normally fairly bland and unquestioning responses- which are absolutely out of character. Iíve asked if sheís okay, but she insists itís just exams. Itís beginning to almost hurt my feelings...I see sheís online, but she doesnít say anything.

Itís entirely possible sheís just busy, but Iím getting a funny vibe, and Iím kind of an overthinker. Iím worried that I should make a more concrete statement of my intentions. I mean, I didnít want to say anything because sheís got exams, and because Iím not physically there yet (I will be from December of this year)...but Iíve tried to indicate my interest by flirting, sending her chocolate on Easter, offering compliments on her photos, but maybe I should be more direct? Iím worried that she thinks Iím stringing her along.

So thatís my story forum! I really hope someone can give me some advice or an honest opinion on the situation...itís possible Iím worrying too much, but what should I do? I really like this girl, and I donít want to let her slip away because of my actions, 🙈

Thanks for reading, I know itís quite long, 🙈