Bad memories comeback

I have been with my partner for 20 years. We had two children. We are in our middle 30s. About seven years ago he cheated on me with his co-worker. I never caught him with her but I found out about it from emails and love letters. Ok I decided to stay with him and continue our lives together. I have never trusted him like before and for that reason I check his Facebook or emails in a daily basis. I found out he is checking on this girl that he cheated with on Facebook. He checks on her profile.

I don't think he is cheating again but it gets me so mad and sad knowing that he still continue checking on her. I wonder if he misses her.

Should I confront him?

I know it will gets him mad that I have his password. Should I stay quite even though I can't pretend I am happy. Should I make a big deal about it? I cry of anger. What show I do?

Did you confront him when you first found out? How did that go down?

Hello.

I would suggest you confront him openly and honestly about why he is seeking this person out again. Don't let this boil out in a random moment. But do sit down with him calmly and appear to be approachable as he may provide a more truthful, compelling answer should you do so.

Edit: Also consider marriage counselling if you are both open to it, so that you can set rules and express your deepest feelings and hopefully rebuild that bond once and for all.

Not many people can regain that trust after it has been broken, I have been in that position and it has caused so much damage to my self-esteem and especially the respect I had for the guy.

Cannot really give any concrete advice since I am still struggling with the residual effects of the relationship (although we are not together anymore because I just could not handle it anymore, anything he did (not cheating anymore though - that I know of) set me off and brought back all those memories.

Good luck, I definitely is not easy, perhaps try relationship or individual therapy....