Embarrassed/nervous over marriage talk with my boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year. Back in June he had some drinks and told me he wanted to marry me and be with me forever (not meaning that he was proposing just I took it as him saying he liked me a lot). Throughout the relationship he has been the first for everything (eg. to say I love you, to make it official etc)

I felt like since then (early Summer) though we've been having some issues. I have been feeling very insecure and seem to be checking for reassurance a lot and being clingy/needy and picking fights over really small things due to being insecure. I try hard to fix this, went to see a therapist, read a lot of articles. This past weekend I ended up saying to him do you want to marry me (needing reassurance) and he said when the time is right. Now i'm really embarrassed. I don't want to be the type to push him and I didn't mean now I just wanted to hear he loved me mostly. I feel like I need to back off a little and am worried his reply was basically him saying he doesn't want to anymore after my neediness this summer. I had been thinking how he hadn't said it again to me so I think that's part of why I said it, basically "needing" to hear it. (I do want to marry him eventually though) We had discussed living together too but not for another year when his lease was up. Was his response bad? and I know I should drop it. Any hints on how to be more easy going and less insecure as well?

Unfortunately chronically asking for reassurances especially extremes such as 'do you want to marry me' will backfire and push people away because it does come off as clingy, possessive and insecure, none of which are attractive or inspiring traits.

His response was neutral, especially given the pressure you create from this and his giving you a more logistical response.

My boyfriend and I have been dating about a year. This past weekend I ended up saying to him do you want to marry me (needing reassurance) and he said when the time is right. and I didn't mean now I just wanted to hear he loved me mostly. We had discussed living together too but not for another year when his lease was up.

The response would have only been bad if he said "no".

How come you're so insecure with him? Was there any issues between you two, or is this just a personal issue with you? Sometimes (depending on how deep this runs) therapy could be helpful if you are feeling at constant threat like this.

It would be easy for us to tell you to just be more laid back, but no doubt you would have been by now if it was that easy. Hopefully you can resolve some of your issues sooner rather than later, so that you don't push him away.

no hes never done anything. I think its mostly from a bad relationship before. I just always feel like he'll end up leaving me or liking someone else more than me. lately its been really bad though where I constantly think hes mad at me or about to break up with me. I hate having to ask for reassurance all the time.

If you keep punishing him for you former relationship, he will eventually leave thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

no hes never done anything. I think its mostly from a bad relationship before. I constantly think hes mad at me or about to break up with me.

Having just had a flick back through your threads I really do suggest getting yourself a little help . Not nice to be as insecure and suspicious as you are and your mind must be doing tipple tails 24/7 . However we have to do what we can to help ourselves and although I am not giving advice on this particular content , it is all in context with how your behavior and thought process will repeatedly drive people mad . I say that with kindness as I have also had my issues in life as well I can assure you .