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Thread: why do guys like girls that treat them badly?

  1. #1
    Lucy3
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    why do guys like girls that treat them badly?

    The guy I was seeing for 2 months just ended it saying his ex had got back in touch and he had been to meet her and was all confused as he still has feelings for her and had been thinking about her. She was soooo nasty and horrible to him and treated him so badly. But at the click of a finger she can have him back just like that, or so it seems. WHY OH WHY do guys like the horrible, high maintenance girls that treat them badly?? This isnt the first time this has happened to me!!!

    Next time im going to avoid guys who havent been single for long, they are obviously on the rebound!!

  2. #2
    Generation
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    Cause we get pulled along by strings when we were in a relationship with them, so we're conditioned to doing things their way or else they'll leave us, so we're easily controlled by them. That's one of many truths. It's also the trap most guys have fell for, myself included.

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    secondchance67
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    I don't necessarily think it has to do with how they were treated, more the fact that they were in love with them, had a history and most likely unresolved feelings they are looking to reignite all over again.

    Its very easy to romanticize the bad traits after some time has past - softening them, rationalizing them down to annoyances, not the deal breakers they might have been at the end of the relationship; even the dumper does it.

    So I think its more the familiarity, the old "connection" that brought comfort and memories they go back to, not necessarily the "bad' aspects of the person.

    This goes for men and women; this forum is littered with this type of story from both sides of the coin.

  4. #4
    Snowy
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    Again, you can't generalize this issue for a specific gender.

    Maybe he has gone back because he is still in love with her. You don't have to be treated nicely to stay in love with someone.

    secondchance has put it nicely.

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    Thorshammer
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    This is not specific to gender, i would even bet there are more posts about women liking "bad" men. Well, 8 years ago I had some girl pulling my leash. It wasnt because i liked the treatment, its because she was beautiful, amazing at sex, plus i was also too inexperienced to value anything else at that time.

    Sometimes, people seek validation from people they find valuable also. Something that is hard to attain can give them a bigger boost to their self esteem. This is why some people like to play this push and pull game.

  6. #6
    doyathink
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    Quote Originally Posted by Generation [Register to see the link]
    Cause we get pulled along by strings when we were in a relationship with them, so we're conditioned to doing things their way or else they'll leave us, so we're easily controlled by them. That's one of many truths. It's also the trap most guys have fell for, myself included.
    I think this is being weak.

    Why do women go back to the ass holes, who treated them with no respect? Its love, a familiar connection, and a whole lot of forgetting the bad stuff that happened.

  7. #7
    duke nukem
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    Because love-for better and for worse-is perhaps the most powerful emotion there is.

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    guynextdoor
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    With age both man and women become less of a puppet..

  9. #9
    Lucy3
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    Hes 31, and even said to me that his friends have told him not to go back to her and he also said 'this will probably all blow up in my face'.

    Perhaps hes just using it as an excuse because he was too chicken to just say that he had fun with me but wanted to leave it at that. Who knows. Yet again nice girls finish last.

  10. #10
    Andysw
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    Thorshammer said it well,
    That's how it was for me, she was beautiful and ticked a lot of the boxes that i'd been missing in previous partners,
    Before I realised it I was on an emotional roller coaster with a girl who at times treated me like absolute rubbish and made me go to ridiculous lengths to meet her emotional needs, which never could be met because she was fundamentally an unhappy person.
    But I was caught in her spell, and it became a vicious cycle..
    I only logged into the site because I was pining after her and feeling weak,

    Weak is the word for it.



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