Ex-Girlfriend's birthday today, mixed feelings on what I should do...

I've been seperated from my girlfriend since March, and its been a slippery sliding slope down. I still have deep feelings for her and miss her terribly. I'm trying real hard to do NC but I just would love to talk to her and be as friendly as possible with maybe the chance at one point of reconcilliation.

She left me for another man, but even she has told me she will always love me, I'm the "one" etc. She just doesn't know what she wants from life, and she hasn't spoken to me since then.

I'd love to wish her a happy birthday, but I wonder if this will stop me from healing as I am trying to do. In my heart I want to say it, but my mind says its best not too. What if she doesn't respond back to me? I guess that would hurt even more.

Sorry, but if you were "the one", she wouldn't be with another. That's what my ex told me almost two years ago. He's still with the other. Don't be the sap I was - move on and stick with NC...](*,)

I know what you are feeling. I called my ex for birthday she sounds like she is glad to hear from me. Whe talked for several minutes. She then told me "hear you later"... She never called me after that. And my healing process was back to square one. Devastated.

So - dont do anything. Believe me. She decided to not have you in her life. So dont be it. She will probably wondering why didnt you do that, and if you do that she will tell herself - I knew he will do that. Catch my drift?

Wow Klimtz that is so rough, I'm so sorry to hear that. I guess its best not to be gutted like that.

I'm sure she is expecting me to send her birthday wishes, and it will be funny when she doesnt get one from me. I'm sticking to my NC, but I've wondered since I've been NC for so long...if I just popped up to say Happy Birthday she might think twice about leaving me?

But eh..

that is enough for me to tell you... NO!!!

I was in this same boat a month ago (when my ex's birthday was). She had taken a "break" from me about a month prior. I didn't send her any communication on her birthday, but a week later she texted me to wish me happy birthday. We met up last week to catch up, a very cordial conversation, although I have no idea what's going on from her, or where it will go from here.

Bottom line is, she didn't even bring up the fact that I didn't wish her happy birthday, and seemed like it was a total non-issue. So, if she wants to talk to you she will. And if she has any dignity and cares about you, she will understand that you don't communicate on her birthday and it shouldn't affect her feelings. Most people on here will tell you something similar. The birthday will pass and if you stay NC and you re-connect sometime in the future, her birthday will already be gone and shouldn't affect you or her.

Besides, as you know from this site, having another person in the picture is a strong case for full and steady NC.

Wow Klimtz that is so rough, I'm so sorry to hear that. I guess its best not to be gutted like that.

 

I'm sure she is expecting me to send her birthday wishes, and it will be funny when she doesnt get one from me. I'm sticking to my NC, but I've wondered since I've been NC for so long...if I just popped up to say Happy Birthday she might think twice about leaving me?

 

But eh..

I have been in her place before in my life. The girl I left was wishing me hb every year in 00.00 hours, and I was glad but sad for realizing that she still loves me more than everything. And then she stops that. And I kept wondering (selfish)... Dont do anything. Its very powerfull message. To yourself. And be sure that one day down the line you will hear something like "you forgot my birthday" or you will not. At that point you will not care anymore (sad but true)... but you'll be having peace of mind knowing that you didn't do anything wrong with this. Been there, done that.

My friend and I both got dumped by our ex gfs last year. We handled the situation differently.

1. He texted her and called her on her birthday. Then his birthday came along and he got nothing from her.

2. I did nothing. I didn't text, call, email, send a card, nothing. I even took it a step further and blocked her on everything. It felt great. Liberating. Then my birthday comes along and i get a text, a card, a phone call. And now we are back on semi speaking terms.

I can't guarantee your ex will do what mine did. But if you do nothing, you lose nothing. If you do call her? There is a chance it won't be reciprocated like my friend. Then you'll feel like a fool for doing it. Trust me, he feels like a moron now and wishes he had done what I did. Which was nothing. It's hard, i know. But just write in a journal, or send an email to yourself on what you would have said to her on her birthday if you were still together. She needs to know, what spending a birthday without you is like. Good luck to you. Be strong.