"Friends" - is there a gender difference?

I was just wondering...

I know that, as a lady dumper, in my foolish teenage past, I've requested "let's be friends!" for selfish reasons. None of them involved actual romantic interest in the then-newly-minted ex. (5 years later, said ex is now genuinely my very good friend, weirdly enough.)

Anyway, I was wondering-- do GUYS "friend zone" their exes if they're still attracted to them? (This is under the assumption that there's no one in the wings).

I'm slowly starting LC with my ex after a period of NC, and I'm wondering just how careful I have to be about dodging the friendzone. We were friends shortly before we dated for over 2 years, and I'm just curious if it's a sign of him inching toward being back together (which I would not be opposed to). I haven't moved an inch in his direction but I've been cordial, so I haven't made any mistakes yet. I was just hoping for some feedback.

What's your experience with the dreaded "friends" situation?

I think that it's really difficult for ex'es to remain friends after the break up.

I had numerous relationships and I am not friends with any of my ex'es. Some wanted to remain friends with me, but I realized that it was because they were hoping I would get back with them.

Although difficult, it's not impossible. If the break up was amicable and mutual then a friendship may be possible. Otherwise, not likely.

I actually think this is an awesome question and am very interested in reading some male responses.

Done it before and it's nothing I would really advice to do.. ends up in arguments even and even if it goes alright for sometime, there's always a point when one part says nothing wrong and you are back arguing again.

I was the one being dumped and I wanted her back and if that's just impossible I at least wanted her to be a very close friend. However once she started dating someone, it was just horrible.. she even lied to me and didn't tell me at first. I realized friendship isn't working out, it just ended that we only spoke every few weeks and then also just smalltalk.

She also made rules, I wasn't allowed to do certain things.. especially I wasn't allowed to be too nice to her or make her gifts to her birthday/christmas ect.

She totaly wanted to be in control over what happens, I can't call that friendship.. and it simply just hurt

Good question. A the female dumpee in most all of my previous realtionships I was always able to remain friends. To this day if one of my significant exes called me up I'd be genuinely interested in talking to him and catching up (most of the exes faded into just distant friends after a year or so).

I do wonder what the male dumper who wants to be friends really wants from this and what the male dumpee would want. So I'm interested in reading some responses.

I am really good friends with some of my exes, they are like family to me. However it took a few years of NC and new relationships before we could truly be friends with no alterior motives.

I actually think this is an awesome question and am very interested in reading some male responses.

Ok, here's one. As soon as a girl breaks up with me, she decides to leave my life. And I take care that her request will be met ;-)

In my opinion being friends with an ex is weird and close to dysfunctional.

I don't think there is a gender difference. I would say 90 percent of the time it doesn't work out the way people intended (very hard to stay best friends with an ex). However, I have a few friends who have pulled it off (each of them with only one of their exes though). Just depends on what each person can handle.