alas...money

We are 50 y/o professionals looking to retire at 60. My wife says she won't be happy at retirement with the income we expect. She's looking to me to generate more income by starting a sideline business now. I am pretty happy with the retirement picture and I enjoy living in the moment

rather than discussing ways to make more money.

This is a huge polarizing impasse. I resent her expectation of me. She resents me for not being eager to plan to make money.

This sounds petty, but I am afraid our differences on this subject are going to ruin our marriage.

Any advice?

Have you suggested that she be the one to start a sideline business?

And have you also mentioned that many, if not most, business ventures fail and end up draining rather than enhancing retirement funds?

I also looked at your previous posts - I assume this is the same woman who was so ambivalent about marrying you.

Are you absolutely sure that she married you for the right reasons?

No, I'm not sure now. Before we got married I asked her to be sure

that she would be satisfied with our money situation. A few days later she

told me had taken my question seriously, had soul-searched and was

satisfied that she would not become disappointed on that score.

I believed her.

Oh about her starting a sideline - she is focused on me because my skills

and education make my potential greater. She's an educator.

I am a technical professional with entrepreneurial experience.

Perhaps you should remind her of that.

Do not be coerced into doing something you do not think is in your best interests. And if this is a deal-breaker for her then you would be wise to end the marriage as soon as possible to minimise any financial obligations that you may have to her. Sounds harsh and I am sure your feelings would be wounded - but you should take account of what is best for you financilly. Or you could end up having to get a second job willy-nilly.

Finances are certainly an issue that must be definitely dealt with by both partners - it's just not one of those issues that resolves itself or quietly fades away.

My opinion is that this is a difference that could actually result in some positives, now that it's been brought up. If I were you, I'd use it as a gateway to a conversation with your partner where you both talk about your dreams of the future, things you've always wanted to do but haven't, and how planning now might make some of these dreams become realities. For example, you could both talk about ideas you've had about possible businesses. Don't discount what the other says, really let this conversation be an opportunity to put all kinds of "crazy" ideas on the table. Perhaps the two of you will really hit on a few things you both are enthused about and can give serious thought to.

In the end, this might bring you both closer. But you just have to start the conversation (and ensuing ones) with the rule that no idea is too ridiculous, too sketchy. Let each other both have the chance to really open up about how you envision the rest of your life.