she wants to stop being friends with me

she says i've hurt her so much, and she has hurt me immensely too. she over -reacts to the littlest things and i'm so mad and upset with her that i don't even know how to talk to her anymore. i try to help her through her depression and her problems and it's like she doesn't listen to me and all i see is her going through the same self-sabotage over and over again. i'm so upset that i don't know what to do. she's constantly guilting me, saying things like: "well, if you want to let go of a 12 year friendship then that's up to you." stuff like that. i hate it when she does that. and here she is ignoring me and wanting to end the friendship. i just want her to clean up her act, but i don't want to tell her that because i know she's going through a really rough time right now and the last thing i want to do is be tough on her. but sometimes i come accross that way, which pushes her away even more, and it's really upsetting how we clash. what more can i do for her? seriously. i'm at the end of my rope here.

This might sound wrong, but trust me, it will work.

Tell her you are sick of all the doo-doo and you want nothing to do with her. Proceed by not contacting her. Dont talk to her, dont call her, dont say hi.

She WILL contact you. If she doesent, she doesent care about you, and you should forget her. Who needs friends like that?

This WILL work man, believe me.

what is goin on? what is she doing thats messing up her life? & what repeating mistakes is she making?

im not 100% clear of your situation but i want to share mine with you. maybe itll give you some understanding as to what kind of person your 'frien' really is....

1 of my best friends (call him 'John') has been best friends with his boy (call him 'Mike') since they were born! they are now both 22 yrs old. but 'Mike' has been keeping a secret life from 'John'....'Mike' has been doing coke & stealing to support his habit for the past year or so....'John' found out recently & was completely devestated!!!! he even went as far as to find 'Mike's dealer & beat him senseless. luckily he never found him.

'John' tried to talk to 'Mike' about everything & how much it hurts him to see his best life long friend deteriorate his life away. 'Mike' doesnt care. 'John's tears & begging has no effect on 'Mike' instead he fights back w/ him & curses him out & tells him he hates him & doesnt care what he thinks etc. 'John' is comepletly torn apart over this & they havent spoken in months now. but there came a time when 'John' had to face it...'Mike' isnt the guy he thought he was...he isnt the friend that cares like he thought he was. hes evil, selfish & cruel. it breaks 'John's heart everytime 'Mike' may come up in conversation or if something reminds him of 'Mike'.

i hope whatever it is that your frined is going through & if shes harming herself she listens to you & snaps out of it. if you lose 'a friend' by being a friend, then this friendship seems to be only one way & its not what you thought it was....

best of luck to you & her...sorry things went so sour.

-DG724

How did u hurt her? If it was ur fault then u definitely need to apologize.