mylolita

@yogacat! x

@1a1a! Darling, I could have wrote your post word for word myself. I have three children, ages 6, 4 and 2 and I have to say, I was always so badly affected by any story of infant murder abuse or neglect, but after becoming a parent, it hit home on a whole new level - more like a train full pelt. I have read and heard things I will never forget and take to my grave. I want to strangle the “parents” of these children with my own bare hands. The anger and sadness I feel is beyond. I just want to say, I don’t think there is a cure, but you are definitely not alone. I have found as I know the world can sometimes be at its worst, always been extremely protective of my children. I have never had or left them with child minders or baby sitters, they’ve never been to nursery or day cares. I was with them always, they’ve never slept over anywhere. My eldest, my boy, started school when he was 5 and I’m so glad he enjoys it and goes but I have to say I am always beyond happy to have him home!! I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. I think surely this is how most humane people would feel? You can’t just read a thing like that then shrug it off. I would advise 1a that, you don’t watch or read the news! This is the only thing that’s helped me. It’s going to go on, more will happen, happen right now, but what good is it to get ourselves upset over something out of our control? I have actually in my own real life safe guarded a few children I have known, and helped others in smaller ways, and this has kind of comforted me. I suppose it’s taken away the feeling of complete powerlessness to stop bad things happening! The fact I potentially helped one child is… making up the balance between “good” and “evil”. I have to say, I have always had a fiercely protective spirit (I’m a big sister and am that way about my younger sis). Only a few months ago I was in a supermarket and a woman was shouting and rough handling her baby toddler who was part disabled in a kind of walker! I was absolutely mortified and started to talk to the mum and talk at the girl to distract her and stop the shouting, try and make the little girl feel better. I went straight out and got her reg number incase, and sat for a smidge on what to do. I just mentioned the incident to the local authorities with the car registration number. I just got such a bad feeling, anyway, what can you do? I have to distract myself, try keep to watching light hearted things and focus on doing a great job with your own! Congratulations by the way, on your beautiful baby! Wow!!! Really, isn’t that something else! ♥️ x

As a hot head with a terrible temper, who reacts overly emotionally to plenty, I was nodding when reading this about the waiting before reacting! x

I will add again like a broken record my personal mantra is… these questions or chats are so much better received and interpreted when in real life! I would say Yoga maybe best to quickly get him in an actual date to suss him properly out or cut him loose if you’re just not feeling it! x

To some extent Rainbows but you don’t want to get yourself into trouble or broken heart territory for no reason. Life is not a game and as Sneaker Pimps did say, “love is just a blood sport!” Our time is very limited. I would make your decisions seriously, actually, but we are all differently minded and go about things in much different ways - again, best of luck and enjoy your date and his dress shirt! 🤪🤫 x

No worries Rainbows! I was just making sure you aren’t being persuaded easily and pulled in directions, even though innocently, by other forces that aren’t from within you. I will stick my ore in for the last time and peep peep that if you had met your date in real life and not online, you would have seen him potentially to chat with in his scruffs and maybe this incident would have never happened? You never know! I still say DITCH ONLINE DATING! 🧹💃🤣 But Y’know I’m old fashioned to a big extent so, I preach that preach 😆🔨 x

It’s absolutely fine Rainbows and honestly I am truly on the side of romance and love I mean, by God I am!!! It was probably very different with me and my husband as I was quite fanatically romantic in that, I had remained a virgin and was going to stay that way until I met The Guy. I happened to meet my husband at 18. But I’d never even kissed anyone or even dated. I knew straight away I was in love, he felt the same. We are both atheists by the way so not traditional religious types, which makes my stance and way of dating maybe quite unusual in 2008 (ohhh way back when!!!) I didn’t have any of what you have said about zero attraction and then feeling like he didn’t make any effort and only having a half hour date. And we didn’t meet online! The attraction for me was absolutely instant and we were never apart after our third date. Sometimes I think the way it panned out was pretty exceptional and, it seems, very rare. I’m not religious but the only suitable way to describe it for me would be - soul mates! Anyway, we’ve had our hiccups don’t get me wrong but, our honeymoon phase never really ended! Everyone told me 3 months, 1 year… and I’m still waiting 🤫🤣 When you find the right one the thing is it is very EASY! And there is no debate! It was very clear to me! It doesn’t mean you don’t have problems - anything going on 16 years with 3 kids under 6 years old is busy, but the love is always there, and we’re honestly best friends - partners in crime! You need your partner in crime! I would maybe suggest you look back and read the things you said about elevator guy before your first date, after and during, and see how they compare to this? Everyone is an individual of course but, I think you need to be rock solid regarding what you want Rainbows and when you are solid in your conviction of that, you’ll be able to know it when you see it! ♥️ I do genuinely say all the best! It is very hard for anyone to speculate over the internet. We just don’t know. You are there living and breathing it so you’re gonna have to call the shots and make your own mind up on this guy! You know more than you think!!!! x

I don’t mean to get on at you Rainbows, but I just want to inject my two thoughts on your post if that is okay? Again, I am not coming at you! First - first first! First impressions are often subconscious and can absolutely be trusted if you are in tune with that part of yourself; and trust your judgement. If on thinking about your date, if generally something was “off”, and you thought that, I would actually trust your own judgement. But! If it was purely attire and presentation and nothing else? I can see why you could be persuaded to go for Date Two! And secondly. I don’t want to be like the atheist that trashes religion. But the universe giving people things and coming into alignment for individuals lives to me, is so wrong. What about the five year old boy who is raped by his father every other night for 10 years? Is this spiritual alignment? Was that “meant to be?” Things just happen in my opinion. Horrible, unspeakable unfair things, and beautiful amazing things too, and inbetween things, for many many different factors. But I don’t think the universe and all it’s workings and unknown solar systems cares about our tinder dating lives or if we were taken aback if someone wore cargo shorts 😜 Just had to put that alternative opinion out there. Sometimes I think maybe the mantra that “everything happens for a reason” can be like an adult soother, and in my humble opinion, holds absolutely zero logic or basis on reality. Sometimes when we realise things happen out of our control, but that the things happening to us can have controlled reactions from us, to some extent, can actually be empowering, rather the notion we are just entities waiting for our fates, blowing through life, our stars a pattern that will align someday. I don’t mean to patronise or say this is your philosophy, but sometimes I have heard similar things said and felt it hurts the person more than aids them. All the best Rainbows! My personal and private thinking opinion is you need to trust yourself more and turn inside and say, what do you think, and what do you want? Rather than how he’s acting 💕 x

Also, sorry, I’m rambling here with ideas but, how people interact as near strangers setting up dates or on dates, might be to do with their personalities? I’m sorry to generalise, but certain personalities, maybe flamboyant or extroverted types, may be much more comfortable divulging and prying earlier on than more inward, sensing, introverted types? People need various times to warm up to a stranger. I think an example of this is, some people seem to make instant fast friends, others, to consider them a “true friend” would need years. It all depends. I get the feeling dating and first meets/first chats are like this. It depends on how the two partners personalities mingle! Having someone very much like yourself is not always as good as it sounds either. You need the right balance! I hate to be corny, but it’s like, you’re YING to their YANG! ❤️ x

Smart! x

I think you are right Yoga and the type of free and easy, effortless bit almost stream of excited consciousness comes when you really get that “lightening strike” connection! Sometimes people have this with amazing friendships as well, or certain family members they favour over others! I am excited to hear about when you do meet a special guy Yoga! 😘 x

Rainbows! It’s great you’re having a second time round with this and I personally think maybe on the first date if you had seen the date through (since you were there anyway!) these feelings of interest may have started to bubble in person! (But, who knows!) I would just add that with the talking back and forth between dates, and the way the last one went down regarding how he presented himself (absolutely your prerogative don’t worry about that) - just a note of caution that you don’t want to fuss or scare him into potentially not being himself, or now from this point forward presenting a front he thinks you may prefer? Just thought I might add that because ideally on dates you don’t want facades or masks and you want the other person as reasonably honest as possible. In an ideal world this would be the case, I realise we live in reality here! x

As the saying goes, don’t be so open minded that your brain falls out 😘 x

Rainbows! I thought you were going to take the pedal off the online dating because of these kind of, not being able to get a good or accurate impression initially over the internet? Do you think your initial decision to take a step back and meet and mingle in real life may have been a better game plan for you or are you thinking both is best? x

Mules!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 *THROWS THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY AT ENA* 😉 x