i had what i thought was the "permanent" relationship. my gf and i dated for a week short of our two year anniversary. we lived together .. we talked (obviously not about the important things or i wouldn't be in this situation) we were so in love. i wanted to spend forever w/her and i thought she wanted the same. we talked about it together.
she dropped a bomb on my head about a month ago and moved out. she said that she told me in the beginning that she has "guilt issues" and that i either got too comfortable or i didn't know how serious she was when she said it. she told me that i am passive/aggressive and it's the ONE thing she can not deal w/. i didn't even know i was doing it! i never intentionally tried to make her feel guilt about ANYTHING. she also says that she had told me several times to stop but that i just wasn't listening to her.
i really don't ever remember her saying anything to me. yes i did the passive/aggressive thing in the past w/ex gfs and it WAS on purpose and i refused to talk about my feelings or what was bothering me about them or our relationship, but had she yelled at me or threatened me i would have done anything to stop this from happening. i guess my "baggage" just crept over into this relationship w/out me realizing it. *sigh*
after she moved i held (and am still hoping) onto our "relationship" thinking that the problems that we were having had just happened as of late. but then she tells me that she has been unhappy since jan/feb of this year. wow. i had NO idea!
now i've screwed up any chance of there being anything between us ever again. because i called her and called her and not understanding why seeing me so sad and how much i miss her isn't making her come back. now she doesn't want to see me, much less speak to me. and the worst part .. we have ALL the same friends and these friends get together at least once a month and i have to see her at these functions. it's so hard .. but i pretend very well to be happy around her. at least i try very hard .. i hope she's buying it.
i feel very cheated, and im sure she does to if i was doing whatever it was i was doing. but now she is like a totally different person, i never in my life thought she could speak to me and treat me the way she has. just being soooo mean. it kills me. and i can't stop loving her! it makes me angry at myself. but she filled this void (i know that sounds tripe, but she really did) in me, i never felt this way w/anyone else. SHE is what i have been searchng for in all my other relationships. i don't know how to stop. the anxiety, the depression, the crying in my hallway floor at 1am at least once a week. i miss her .. okay this wasn't supposed to be this long and im sorry but it all came out. =)
how long does it take to get over someone? what i really want to ask is will she come back, or even WANT to be my friend again but no one can know that but her. im afraid it's too late.