Andrina

Stress eventually takes its toll on a body, so you need to stop beating yourself up over every little thing. Plenty of books you can find for making your self-talk work for you and to not sweat the small stuff. What would've been the alternative? You frowning at them, yelling that you have a gf and the teaser is being inappropriate? Skulking away in a huff? Keeping the atmosphere pleasant and not saying anything flirty in return was a signal in itself you're not interested in flirty banter and you're not so uptight to make the situation awkward. I hope you wouldn't think your gf was behaving inappropriately if she acted the same as you did.

In your shoes, I'd probably start focusing on the subject of financial matters for both your family and that of your parents. It's not fair that your parents are relying on you in that area. Are there changes that could be made? Do your parents live in a really large house they could sell and begin living in lower cost digs? Is there any antiques they could sell, or could they downsize to one car if they have two? Are they working and if not, why not? Don't be a doormat if they are helping themselves. And elderly people often don't like change, such as moving, but if you're being treated unfairly, insist on those changes with an ultimatum. Then if it were my spouse, I'd let her know I can't live like this anymore and that we would have to start planning finances for an eventual divorce, which will mean her learning to drive. I'd probably wait until your child starts pre-school so your wife can get work during school hours, and discuss that plan. And at that time, it might be in your best interest to sell the house if it makes financial sense for a divorce. This would give your wife time to set up a financial plan/work goals, since your custody payments won't be enough for her without her own paycheck. You could now also start cutting luxury expenses such as if you have a cable bill. Get Internet only and get a TV antenna. Buy grocery food far more than getting takeout and restaurant food. Buy clothes at consignment shops or other used clothing stores, etc. Speaking to a lawyer will help guide you in what to expect. Take care.

Why would you enter into such a stressful and dangerous situation because a man whispers sweet things in your ear? You don't even have the sense to block to him after he admitted he's been giving you stolen items? My advice: Block him. Book yourself into therapy because you're a danger to yourself. Do not consider dating anyone until you've achieved self-love and can make wiser decisions in the dating world.

When you said you were the common denominator, I thought that besides your own behavior, it could be that you choose the same type of women over and over, hence the same negative results. Think about a healthy balance in life, where of course a SO should be a priority and lots of time should be spent together once a more serious relationship is established. But if you let time with your friends and hobbies drop to the wayside when you get a gf, it's both not healthy to keep a good support system for yourself, plus you will be less interesting to a woman when she's the sole center of your social life. Think about expanding a woman's world, not minimizing it. She might like to learn about your hobby or participate in it. You might start a new hobby together, but try to keep one to yourself because it's good if a partner sometimes misses you. It's also good to keep up with time with the guys. If they have partners, it's also fun to double date because variety is the spice of life and only having dates together without group friends and individual friends becomes boring. I'm assuming you hadn't dated long before trying the hot air balloon thing. Perhaps save those pricier things for someone you've gotten beyond the honeymoon stage with. Basically, if you're not voicing anything except what you think she wants to hear, then you're being inauthentic and that will be to her like being with a robot. Think of Billy Joel's lyrics: You've given me the best of you. But now I need the rest of you. Voice your own needs. If she wants to eat a restaurant that you don't like, speak up. There are always other choices you can both agree upon. If you made a plan with a friend, don't cancel if she pouts when she finds out you're busy. If a woman starts speaking to you with disrespect or is being unfair about something, speak up for yourself. If you are afraid of losing someone because of minor disagreements, you're being unrealistic because every couple argues. It's expected, though the arguing shouldn't be nasty and should have the purpose of resolving the issue. I hope your self-discovery and working on yourself provides better results, moving forward.

In a healthy relationship, when there's a disagreement, the purpose should be to come to a consensus each can be satisfied with and put the matter to rest. So since he's been regularly bringing this up then that is punishment and something you should not be tolerating. With that last question, if you told him that the survey says in healthy relationships, each can hang out with opposite gender friends, that he will admit he's wrong and now everything will be fine between you two? As I earlier said, if a couple has opposing views on that subject, it'll never work. Much as you care about him, you're living a life in a toxic environment of arguments that will continue because you two aren't compatible. Free yourself to eventually find a man who is compatible with you in all the major ways, plus doesn't hound you about one mistake during the one precious life you have on this planet.

I don't think I can understand your problem unless you give concrete examples of this. Also, do you hang out with guy friends as well and have a hobby?

When he's saying he can't forgive you, I don't understand why you're asking what should happen now. Doesn't that mean you're broken up? I'm assuming you two are very young, since yeah, there is a lot of immature drama going on here and two people not knowing how to navigate a healthy relationship. Moving forward, this is what you should do for any future relationships: Before deciding to become exclusive with someone, first see if you both share the same relationship rules, which includes with whom of the opposite sex it's okay to communicate and hang out with, and whom you're not comfortable for that happening because of certain circumstances. In most cases, there's no right or wrong, just an agreement that both are comfortable with. If you have opposite views on that, it'll never work. As for him, I think it's lame to cancel a holiday date with you but go with others, but also, that would've been 3 hours of driving time for him, so if you don't have your own transportation, is it really doable to be dating someone this far away? Did you not have any female friends to ask to go to the beach? Were you trying to punish him by going with a guy who used to have a crush on you? If your bf knew this, and he's never been introduced to this man to feel comfortable with the friendship you have with him (if he's normally not unjustifiably jealous), then I think you were in the wrong. Many youthful relationships end while people are learning who is right for them and who isn't. If he's going by what his friends are telling him versus how he feels about you, he doesn't care to the extent you need from a partner. Either that or your behavior was deal breaking to him.

It's really not fair to compare any woman to a girl you dated a little over a year who still lived at home with her parents. Therefore, you didn't have the stress of keeping house together, paying bills, arguments over who does what chore, etc. Everything was fun dates with a relationship that was still shiny new when it ended. In this highlighted quote, does this mean that you basically got along from the start like two friends but that the special chemistry that makes your heartbeat race in the beginning when you receive a text from her, or when you're about to meet up for a date was missing? That you sometimes just didn't relish looking at her a little longer than usual because she's so damned pretty? I only know that for me, the chemistry has to be there and then I'd look to see if everything else matched. If there wasn't a spark, even if I thought the guy was attractive and nice, that was a dealbreaker for me. Certainly there is an ebb and flow in relationships. Though I sometimes get irritated with my husband, or bored, etc., I've never once questioned if I shouldn't have married him, or that I should divorce him, nor do I fantasize that being with any other man will bring me more happiness. What would you think about your girlfriend thinking what you're thinking now? How she'd still be with her first bf if he hadn't moved away and how nobody long term has measured up to him since. But now that she's in a decent relationship at a watershed moment, fear is holding her back from leaving in case nobody else matches her values. If when I was dating my husband I knew he'd be thinking this, I'd rather be released so I could eventually find someone who couldn't imagine life without me. I do agree with one other poster that if you aren't 100 percent sure about a major decision like marriage, don't do it.

Yes, that'd be my dream too--to eventually move closer to all that turmoil. NOT! Probably old pics. Sounds just like when the granite slab company was supposed to deliver my kitchen countertop, and the guy cancelled and sent me a photo of his truck with the hood up, saying the truck was broken. I knew it was a sham, and eventually found out that it in fact was. It's called overselling a lie. This is both pure masochism and lying to yourself. Just how you describe him makes my stomach churn by merely reading words on a page. I can't even imagine how he's anybody's prized partner.

With time and distance away from him, believe me, your perspective will be far clearer and you will realize breaking up was the best decision possible. Challenges, even when emotionally hard, are something you need to expect and deal with with resilience, knowing this step is setting you up for a happier next chapter of your life. Let yourself grieve the loss so that you can move on to the healing stage. That will likely take a minimum of 4 to 6 months before you stop thinking of him daily if you do it right. Feeling temporarily lonely is better than having a partner who is verbally abusive. Ending things and working toward achieving self-love will put you in a better mindset to accept and attract only decent men. If you don't want to share details of why the breakup happened to anyone, simply say something like: I decided it's best we go our separate ways. Talking about it is something I want to avoid right now. Maybe one day I'll choose to share more. You're not alone in accepting a poorly chosen partner. I've done so several times, and later realized my poor self-worth contributed to those mistakes. But those experiences taught me more about myself and how to improve in many areas. My hard work finally culminated in achieving success in the romance department. When you end being around toxicity, it leaves you free to eventually find a man who will treat you as the special person you are.

It does take a lot of sifting through sand to find the treasure. 2 dates a year hasn't been enough to meet your goal of finding a partner. You'll have to up your proactivity in meeting single women in your age group. I did OLD after my first marriage ended and it took going on dates with 30 men over a period of 2 and a half years to find my future husband. I found him on OLD, but had also briefly dated one man from an East Coast Swing Dance venue. There are so many varieties of dance venues out there to take lessons which are often followed by a dance. Salsa, tango, swing, ballroom. That's sometimes a good way to meet women. I'd also tried Meetup.com groups for singles in my age group before I met my husband. I enjoyed those outings and though I didn't meet anyone of romantic interest at them, I enjoyed the company, both male and female, and knew that you never knew who would choose to attend in the future, with new members always joining. It's less stressful to gradually get to know someone than on OLD. But it is always smart to improve your own behavior if you've been given feedback. Maybe your texting was in fact too much. Maybe you have emotional baggage that you vent about. If so, those are things you can choose to avoid. Also, if you have any female friends/relatives, ask them if you need a makeover for hair and clothing and let them make recommendations. If you might be too full-on, getting too excited when you meet someone you spark with, to tone that down, have the mindset that you're just going to enjoy a coffee or a meal with a woman with the goal of fun, interesting conversation. Do not project to the future, imagining she is "the one." Take it as a one-day-at-a-time thing, and let time reveal all. Keep the topics as safe ones such as careers, pets, siblings, types of music, books, movies you like. I wouldn't get into past relationship history and what the person is looking for in dating unless it gets to the 3rd date. As for you, if you'd had major trauma from past relationships, just be brief and keep it in more general terms, i.e., My longest relationship lasted X years. We grew apart and realized we were incompatible. Or: She cheated and that's something I won't tolerate, so I'm now looking forward to finding someone to spend the next chapter of my life with. You might also try volunteering in something you can be passionate about. I know of two who met volunteering at the zoo. I wish you good luck in your search.

When a person puts a warning tag on himself, believe him. He knows himself better than anyone. Or he's just not that into you and his excuses are to spare your feelings. He could also be gay and not wish to share that. Too many times to count, I've wanted to date someone who wasn't willing to date me. All you can do is say, "Fate has someone else in store for me."

I don't know why on Earth you'd want to. Your self-worth is in the gutter, which would be solely your problem if you wanted to go back for more verbal punishment. But you have children who didn't ask to be brought into the world, and it's your job to be their protector. They come before any man in your life. Do you really think it's in their best interest to see you've chosen someone to be around you and them who tells you to shut up? Someone who makes you bawl instead of easing your troubles? Someone who is trying to convince you how to parent when he obviously is a jerk and doesn't know how to be a mature, caring adult? Please breakup with this abuser if he contacts you again. Perhaps you've never been in a healthy relationship if you don't recognize this one as unhealthy. Try speaking to a therapist if you are having trouble practicing self-love and doing what's best for your children, so that they are living in a happy, healthy environment.

Wow. Have you ever been in a relationship where you just have fun and talk about happy things like why you chose a career you love, if you have pets, your bucket list of where you'd like to travel? I'd rather get my teeth drilled than having, especially within the first 30 days, all this psychological trauma laid upon the table and have someone bark at me false accusations. This is the vetting process. Knowing someone this shortly is not worth breaking out self-help books for couples or seeking therapy. Time to say it's not working as you'd hoped. Being accused of a crime that you didn't commit is dealbreaker territory.

My advice would be to block her on Whats app and get rid of the idea that there's any chance she will be a part of your future. The quicker you do that the quicker you will have closure. She couldn't envision ahead of time that she'd be too busy and emotionally invested in dating when she knew there'd be an upcoming divorce? I think it's an excuse that she's just not that into you, but you're so into her you can't fathom otherwise. I've never once taken anyone back whether I did the deed or he did, because a person normally thinks long and hard about breaking up, knowing that will most likely spell forever. When that's the case, either it's because of incompatibility, or one of you doesn't care the way one should for a forever thing. And usually a pattern repeats itself. If she easily let you go once, she'll likely do it again when she is "overwhelmed and needs space." Someone with two very young kids and freshly getting a divorce is not an ideal candidate for being a partner who has loads of time to have fun with you. A parent shouldn't introduce children to their love interest until its a surety it will be a lifetime connection, and that takes a minimum of 8 to 10 months into it to get beyond the honeymoon stage and into the serious stage. So that leaves minimal time for dates if the mother is a decent parent, concentrating on getting her children used to a new dynamic of having divorced parents. I'd hold out for the woman who never leaves. Not even once.