11 Christian Marriage Counseling Books Everyone Should Read

The Power of Christian Counseling Books

The institution of marriage, rooted in centuries of religious and cultural traditions, has often sought solace and guidance in the Christian faith. Over the years, countless authors have tapped into biblical teachings and Christian values to offer counsel to couples in distress. The popularity of Christian marriage counseling books is a testament to their profound impact on mending relationships and strengthening matrimonial bonds.

Why turn to these books? First, they provide insights grounded in a faith many hold dear. Secondly, they offer tried-and-true advice from experts who've delved deep into the intricacies of marital life. Finally, for many couples, these resources act as a bridge, connecting religious teachings with practical, real-world solutions.

Now, let's unravel the layers of wisdom these books offer.

1. A Christian Lens: The Unique Perspective on Marriage Counseling

Before diving into our top book recommendations, it's essential to grasp the unique essence of Christian-based marriage counseling. Unlike secular counseling, Christian counseling incorporates scripture and the teachings of Jesus Christ. This spiritual touch provides a deeper, soulful approach to mending and nourishing relationships.

Dr. Elizabeth Roberts, a renowned marriage therapist with over two decades of experience, states, "Christian marriage counseling doesn't just tackle surface issues. It delves deep into the soul, addressing the spiritual, emotional, and mental aspects of a relationship."

Studies have shown that couples who incorporate faith into their counseling sessions often feel more fulfilled and connected. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Christian Counseling found that couples who sought faith-based counseling were 15% more likely to report high relationship satisfaction compared to those who didn't.

That said, the beauty of Christian marriage counseling books is that they're accessible to everyone, regardless of religious beliefs. These texts, while rooted in Christian teachings, offer universal lessons on love, commitment, and understanding.

Now, let's explore some top-notch recommendations that can change the course of your marital journey.

2. "Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood"

First on our list is this masterpiece by Becky Thompson. A reflection of modern marital challenges, this book addresses the changes that come with parenthood. Thompson, through her eloquent prose and scripture references, offers couples a roadmap to rekindling love amidst the chaos of raising children.

One notable aspect of Thompson's work is her focus on 'intentional love.' In a world filled with distractions, she stresses the importance of consciously choosing to love and prioritize one's partner every day. Drawing from 1 Corinthians 13, Thompson provides actionable steps for couples to manifest love in their daily lives.

Several readers have lauded the book for its real-life anecdotes that resonate deeply, offering both comfort and guidance. Sarah and Mark, a couple from Ohio, credit "Love Unending" for reviving their relationship post-children. "The book reminded us of the essence of our love and taught us to find moments of connection amidst the chaos," Sarah shared in a recent review.

Thompson's insights are not only profound but also practical, making this book a must-read for couples navigating the waters of parenthood.

3. "The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption"

Matt Chandler's "The Mingling of Souls" stands out for its raw, unfiltered take on marital love. Drawing inspiration from the Song of Solomon, Chandler discusses love, romance, sex, and commitment through a biblical lens. He challenges societal norms, urging couples to align their relationships with God's design.

Chandler's perspective on intimacy, both emotional and physical, is refreshing. He emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and communication, breaking down barriers that often plague modern marriages. The book is rife with practical advice, scripture-based teachings, and real-life examples, making it a comprehensive guide for couples at any stage of their relationship.

A standout feature is Chandler's challenge to conventional wisdom on passion. While society often paints passion as fleeting, Chandler argues that with intention and effort, couples can maintain and even amplify passion throughout their marital journey. His insights, backed by scripture and expert opinions, provide couples with actionable steps to keep the flame alive.

Multiple couples, including renowned marriage therapists, have cited "The Mingling of Souls" as a transformative read. It not only redefines concepts of love and commitment but also offers a holistic approach to marital bliss.

4. "Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?"

Written by Gary Thomas, "Sacred Marriage" presents a revolutionary perspective on the purpose of marriage. Instead of focusing solely on happiness, Thomas suggests that marriage serves a greater purpose: spiritual growth and sanctification. This paradigm shift challenges readers to view their marital challenges as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.

Thomas writes, "What if God's primary intent for your marriage isn't to make you happy, but holy?" With this provocative question, he urges couples to delve deeper into the true essence of marriage, transcending societal definitions. By aligning their relationships with God's design, couples can achieve a deeper, more meaningful connection.

The book is infused with a combination of scriptural insights, historical references, and real-life anecdotes. Each chapter offers actionable steps and reflections for couples to ponder and implement. This holistic approach ensures readers not only grasp the concepts but can apply them in their marital journey.

Dr. Angela Simmons, a Christian marriage therapist, often recommends "Sacred Marriage" to her clients. "It reframes the challenges of marriage as opportunities for growth. Couples learn to embrace the highs and lows, drawing closer to each other and God," she remarked in a recent seminar.

For those seeking a deeper, more profound understanding of marriage's spiritual essence, this book is a gem.

5. "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts"

Though not exclusively Christian, Dr. Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages" deserves a special mention due to its universal applicability and deep resonance with Christian teachings on love and understanding. Chapman introduces the concept of love languages - five distinct ways individuals express and receive love. These are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Understanding your partner's primary love language is pivotal. It not only fosters understanding but also ensures both partners feel loved and valued. Chapman, drawing parallels with biblical teachings, emphasizes the Christ-like act of selflessly loving one's partner by speaking their love language.

The book's strength lies in its practicality. Each chapter offers real-life scenarios, quizzes, and actionable steps for couples to discover and cater to each other's love languages. Numerous testimonials from couples worldwide testify to the transformative power of this simple yet profound concept.

John and Lisa, a couple from Texas, shared, "Understanding our love languages transformed our relationship. We learned to love each other more deeply and intentionally. The biblical references further enriched our experience, grounding our love in faith."

For those seeking a blend of psychology and spirituality in understanding marital love, this book is indispensable.

6. "Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage"

Gary Thomas strikes again with another powerful addition to the Christian marriage counseling literature. In "Cherish," he delves into the concept of truly cherishing one's partner, going beyond mere love and commitment. By understanding and practicing the act of cherishing, couples can elevate their relationship to unparalleled heights.

Thomas draws from scriptures, where husbands are advised to love and cherish their wives. He postulates that while love is the foundation, cherishing is the action that keeps the flame alive. It involves understanding, respecting, and deeply valuing one's partner, seeing them as God sees them.

Replete with actionable advice, "Cherish" provides couples with tools to transform their outlook towards each other. From daily practices to long-term commitments, Thomas outlines ways to make your partner feel truly cherished.

Marriage counselor Dr. Paul Adams states, "Cherishing is about seeing the divine in your partner. Thomas' book provides a refreshing perspective, compelling couples to re-evaluate their actions and attitudes."

For couples looking to add that extra spark to their relationship, "Cherish" serves as a guiding light.

7. "The Power of a Praying Wife/Husband"

Stormie Omartian's series, focusing separately on husbands and wives, delves into the transformative power of prayer in marriage. Prayer, as Omartian illustrates, isn't merely a plea to God but an act of surrender, trust, and commitment to one's spouse and the relationship.

Throughout the books, she highlights the various areas of marital life that can benefit from targeted prayers – be it finances, intimacy, health, or conflicts. Omartian encourages spouses to take the initiative, praying not just for their partners but also for wisdom and strength in their roles.

These books have resonated deeply with readers. Many attest to the noticeable changes in their marriage after adopting a consistent prayer routine. The act of praying fosters a deeper connection, not just with God, but also with one's spouse, cultivating a relationship rooted in faith, understanding, and divine guidance.

Marriage coach Linda Harrison shares, "Omartian's books act as a reminder of the divine intervention and guidance available to us. They inspire couples to turn to prayer as a first resort, not the last, ensuring God remains at the center of the relationship."

Couples seeking to intertwine their marital journey with their spiritual path will find immense value in these books.

8. "Boundaries in Marriage"

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, renowned Christian psychologists, present a groundbreaking perspective on setting and respecting boundaries in marriage. While love, understanding, and compromise are pillars of a successful marriage, the importance of boundaries cannot be understated.

Through "Boundaries in Marriage," the authors explore the concept of establishing clear limits that ensure mutual respect, trust, and safety. These boundaries cover various aspects – from emotional and physical space to financial decisions and familial obligations.

Setting boundaries doesn't imply distancing oneself but ensures that both partners coexist harmoniously, respecting each other's individuality. The book offers practical steps, rooted in biblical teachings, guiding couples through the process of establishing, communicating, and respecting boundaries.

Renowned therapist Dr. Laura Mitchell asserts, "Cloud and Townsend masterfully interweave psychology and scripture, presenting boundaries not as barriers but bridges to a harmonious marriage."

Couples aiming to strike a balance between togetherness and individuality will greatly benefit from the insights this book offers.

9. "You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity"

Francis and Lisa Chan collaborate to deliver this insightful book, reminding couples of the eternal perspective of marriage. Rather than just offering short-term solutions, the Chans challenge couples to view their relationship in light of eternity.

With the belief that understanding our future in heaven can transform our life on earth, this book provides profound wisdom. It aligns the sanctity of marriage with a couple's joint mission to serve God, emphasizing the importance of mutual spiritual growth and purpose.

By adopting an eternal lens, couples can transcend petty disagreements and focus on the bigger picture: their joint calling to be ambassadors of Christ's love. The Chans infuse their narrative with biblical stories, personal experiences, and practical exercises to help couples strengthen their bond both on earth and for eternity.

Rebecca Hudson, a Christian marriage coach, asserts, "This book is a game-changer. It inspires couples to aim higher, to strive for a love that's divine and eternal."

For couples desiring a marriage that stands the test of time and eternity, this read is indispensable.

10. "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage"

Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.'s classic offers a candid look into the unique needs of both spouses, presenting a roadmap to build a marriage that's not only fulfilling but also resilient against potential external threats.

Through extensive research and years of counseling experience, Dr. Harley identifies the top five needs of men and women in marriage. By understanding and fulfilling these needs, couples can fortify their bond and prevent potential pitfalls that lead to dissatisfaction or infidelity.

Integrating scriptural teachings and psychological insights, this book offers actionable advice to ensure both partners feel valued, loved, and secure. With exercises, questionnaires, and real-life examples, couples can navigate their unique dynamics and cultivate a thriving relationship.

Marriage therapist Dr. Elizabeth Fields shares, "Dr. Harley's approach is both pragmatic and spiritual. Couples gain clarity about their needs and learn to nurture their relationship actively."

For couples seeking a preventive approach to marital challenges, this book offers invaluable insights.

11. "A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage"

Once again, Gary Thomas delivers a masterpiece that emphasizes the importance of continuous growth and adaptation in marriage. "A Lifelong Love" presents couples with the challenge and joy of deepening their relationship across various life stages.

The book underscores the three foundational pillars: a delightful friendship, an unquenchable passion, and a shared mission. Thomas delves deep into the nuances of these pillars, offering couples guidance on cultivating a bond that evolves, matures, and flourishes over time.

With a blend of biblical wisdom, personal anecdotes, and expert insights, Thomas inspires couples to keep the flame alive, year after year. He encourages couples to constantly reinvent, rediscover, and reaffirm their commitment, ensuring their love remains fresh and invigorated.

Christian relationship coach Sarah Daniels remarks, "This book is a testament to the beauty of enduring love. It inspires couples to cherish each moment and continuously strive for deeper intimacy and understanding."

Couples at any stage of their marital journey will find this book a treasure trove of wisdom.

Conclusion: A Journey of Love, Faith, and Understanding

Marriage, a beautiful union of two souls, is a journey rife with challenges and blessings. Christian marriage counseling books offer a beacon of hope, guiding couples through the tumultuous seas of marital life. By grounding advice in scripture and faith, these books provide a holistic approach to love, commitment, and understanding.

Whether you're newlywed, celebrating decades of marital bliss, or somewhere in between, these recommended reads offer invaluable insights. They not only strengthen the bond between couples but also deepen their connection with God, making marriage a truly divine experience.

Remember, every relationship is unique. While these books provide guidance, it's essential to seek personalized advice tailored to your relationship's nuances. Consider engaging in Christian marriage counseling sessions, attending workshops, or joining marriage enrichment groups to further enrich your marital journey.

May your journey be filled with love, faith, and countless blessings!

Resources

• Thompson, B. (2016). Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood. WaterBrook Press.
• Chandler, M. (2015). The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption. David C. Cook.
• Thomas, G. (2015). Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?. Zondervan.