Just looking to Vent

Just frustrated with this situation still and just need a way to vent, feel free to comment but I already know the answer.

Met a girl on a dating site, we hit it off right away and she gave me her number. Her profile states looking for a long term relationship, which is great, because I was interested in that as well. We chatted a lot for the next few days and would snapchat each other. She enjoyed making funny faces and snapping me in the morning to say good morning or something. I asked her out to grab coffee and she said yes. We met up and had a great time, ended up talking all night until we realized we had been at the coffee shop for 6 hours. I drove her home and on the way we still talked. We had about discussion about everything, life friends hobbies, eventually we talked about dating and our past. We talked about some serious things that in hindsight maybe I should not have revealed until I knew her more but I just felt comfortable, and I could tell I was smitten. I thought we were getting a vibe so when the convo turned to a more positive note and when she started to talk about her sexual behavior and such I thought that was a dead give away so I leaned in for a kiss. She didn't pull away but I never go the full 100% and she never leaned in to kiss me, she just smiled and said "not yet ok?" I can understand so I left it at that. After sitting in my car for a hour or so of talking I said good night.

We texted after saying we had a great time, and continued to chat over text. I felt great, butterflies in my stomach, smitten by this cute funny, amazing girl that I thought fit me perfectly, and it has been a while since I felt this way. Needless to say I was estatic. I couldn't wait and after a day or 2 of our initial meeting, I asked her for dinner, she said yes. Then things started to get weird. At dinner her sister was stalking us, trying to see who I am. And this made me uncomfortable. I think I just had a bad day and didn't handle it well, but I felt uncomfortable and when asked if she could get her sister and sisters friends to join us for dinner I declined. I think this was not the answer she wanted but she continued to have dinner with me and I paid for her. I screwed up here, and I did again after because I asked what she wanted to soon and I think that scared her off. I assumed from her profile that she would be looking for something serious and that this convo would be normal as it has been asked to me from other women I have been seeing the last year.

From that day even though we again spent a few hours of us just talking i kinda felt like it was not the same. I waited for it to cool off, we stilled talked a lot during the next week and she would still send me snaps saying good morning and liking my instagram posts. I asked her out again a bout a week later and she said yes, after some talk she wanted to let me know it was not a date, it was just us hanging out again, for now. I ended up probing what she meant by that and she basically told me she likes me but does not know if she likes likes me yet. She explained she was dealing with self insecurities. (I know, that is probably a bad sign, sounds like what I say when I want to break things off with a girl or slow it down). But she still wanted to hang out. We chatted again and it still felt like this could be recovered. but then she stopped answering my text, and after 2 tries a few days apart I stopped trying. She still likes EVERY one of my instagram post or at least most which bothers me to no end, even though I need to let it go. And she will snap me good morning every now and then. but the one time I replied like I usually do, she would not answer. I know the snap was sent to me directly as it was not posted on her story, but then again maybe she sends a mass one to her followers. So i looked at the last one but never responded, and I haven't texted her again.

So I'm just sitting here beating myself up over this, maybe ill leave it for a week or a few and try to say hello again. I'm really sad that this ended this way because I feel I was the one that screwed up. The heart is heavy when you feel what you feel, but after my last LTR ended in a broken engagement, I feel like I can't handle dating, even though I thought I was ready finally.

Well if you came this far, thanks for reading. I hope you find better luck than I did.

I wouldn't beat yourself up to hard. Not every date is a match, plus you don't want to cling onto the first girl you go on a date with. Play the field a little bit and have some fun. The RIGHT girl will come around when she's supposed too.

she doesn't sound like a good fit and very immature

she doesn't sound like a good fit and very immature

Ya, im beginning to see that.

Is your user name as DC because you are from Washington or are you a DC comic fan haha

I wouldn't beat yourself up to hard. Not every date is a match, plus you don't want to cling onto the first girl you go on a date with. Play the field a little bit and have some fun. The RIGHT girl will come around when she's supposed too.

thanks! thats good advice, I have been playing the field, but I guess no girl has interested me until this one

thanks! thats good advice, I have been playing the field, but I guess no girl has interested me until this one

I understand, but there will be more girls. Like I said, you don't want to cling onto the first girl who sparks interest in you. That doesn't always mean it's right. Dating can be brutal, but it is also fun. Just keep an open mind and don't put any pressure on it.

I don't think you ruined the date when you didn't want her sister to join you but they may have felt rejected by your gesture. Then she asked them what they thought of you and I would imagine you didn't get a glowing review. Next time ask them to join you two first.

I have been on first meets where a woman brought a friend. Some people are simply not comfortable meeting alone the first or second time and some people don't trust their own judgment and need help weeding the wrong ones out. She may be one of those that has a bad picker and always picks the jerks so she has her sister and friend help her out.

Let it go for a while and keep dating. Don't burn any bridges or say anything mean, just let it fade. Who knows in a few months you may run accross her profile again and try for a do over with her.

Live and learn and stop jumping in so deep so fast. Take your time and try to keep first meets shorter so you can go home and think about everything that happened and was said. This also keeps you from screwing up and it leaves them wanting more.

Keep trying you are doing fine

Lost

Thanks, that's some great advice right there. I recognize I went a bit to fast for sure. And I feel the same way about not getting a great review from her sister. But her sister was the one that first declined as she did not want to interrupt our "date" and this was our second meeting, so that did not really play into it. But you could be on to something about being a bad picker, she did mention that she was not sure if im for real, or if everything was sincere, perhaps it felt like to good to be true sort of thing for her.

Live and learn, that's what i'll have to take from this.

Thanks

I wouldn't write her off completely but back way off and let her come to you. She will think about you and wonder...

Keep dating and enjoy your life, who knows what this summer will bring.

Lost

Well I'm certiantly backing way off. She kept liking all my Instagram so I removed her cuz it was frustrating