So there's this girl I'm crushing on...

She checked in like 3 months ago and we work at the same place but different departments. Since I first saw her, I always made eye contact with her because I always thought she looked pretty. Just recently, I've been making an effort to go up and start talking to her. All my friends I work with know that I like her and they all support me. I got to know a little about her through small talk. She's single, but she just broke up with her ex like a month ago. I asked her if she would go back to him and she flat out said no. We talked about ourselves and got to know each other a little bit. Every time I pass by her and make eye contact she would say hi to me. It makes my heart flutter haha joking. I haven't really seen her in a few days and I've been thinking about her a lot. She's really pretty and a lot of other guys try to hit on her. She's the flirty kind of girl and is friendly towards everyone.

So what can I do to get her attention and all that good stuff?

Well my first advice to you is to stop thinking about her all the time. By doing that you are putting too much pressure on this and that could hurt your chances because you will start to get nervous around her. If she is flirty with a lot of guys then she probably gets a lot of compliments from chumps. If she is attractive then I'm sure of it. What you wanna do is what I like to call role reversal. So instead of giving her compliments and showing you are interested, show her you are not too interested and make her earn your affection. If you want to stand out from the chumps she usually flirts with then you have to be different.

What you first want to do is establish a playful teasing relationship with her. Tease her and DO NOT compliment her unless she genuinely does something you like. Give her a high five to show that YOU approve of her. When you establish the teasing fun relationship find a moment to look at her and say "If anything else then you'd probably make a good friend.". This is you saying that she is in danger of you putting her in the friends zone. Only do this if you have sucessfully established the teasing relationship and are vibing pretty well because then she will feel an urgency to try and win you over instead of when guys try to win girls over when they are in the friends zone. Also if you find that she touches your arm casually then you know she is at least somewhat attracted to you and when she does do that playfully snatch your arm away and say with a smile "Don't touch me". It may seem counterintuitive but the reason behind it is that you are taking yourself away from her and she will feel like she did something wrong(she won't say it but feel it) and will try to make up for it.

Now people will think "Don't do that! You're being a jerk". It's not being a jerk, you are flirting and you are making yourself the prize. Girls do it all the time to guys and that is why guys fall for girls and fall into the friends zone. Thats why I call it role reversal. It will take practice because it might feel unnatural but trust me on this, it will work. You will stand out from all the other chumps because you are not throwing yourself at her but showing that you are a man of value and that you respect yourself not to demean yourself and do anything a girl wants.

Also, if it is already too late or if something should happen and it doesn't work out always always remember that she is no special flower. There are tons of pretty single girls just waiting for a guy to talk to them. They are out there and if you keep that in mind then you will be okay because it is not the end of the world and she is not the last girl you will ever meet. Don't let it bring you down.

From a girls point of view if a guy said to me "don't touch me" I would stay well away from him! So I really don't think thats the way to go.

I think you should ask her out...

---------------------------------

Sounds like confident and sound advice from Vincent. And I'm girl!!!! I wouldn't do the "Don't Touch Me" thing, but the rest of it, well you have to stand out from the crowd some-how. Dial it down for a week or two, then make your move

Well if you say "Don't touch me!" without a smile and in cold way then yeah a girl is going to stay the hell away from you. But if you somewhat laugh and smile when you say and do it then it is an entirely different story. I use that(I know it makes me sound like a jerk but I'm not at all. It's just a way of flirting) and it does work for me. Like I said, it will make the girl feel like she has to make make up for it somehow. It's not about being a jerk but about showing a girl that you are a real man and that you will stand up to her when she challenges you. The reason why that is important is because women want security and that shows that a man who is willing to stand up to her is strong and can offer her this.

Now I forgot to mention that there is a time when you have to stop or tone it down a lot! Men make the mistake of doing it all the time even when it is absolutely clear she likes you. It will push her away once she likes you. So you have to tone it down so you still show that you will stand up to her. It's also important that you like her for her and not for some shallow reason. Give her compliments when she does something you like. You of course want to show her that she is winning you over and you want to give her affection when she has won you over. So remember to tone it down once you know or she tells you that she likes you.

If a guy told me he considers me a good friend and he laughs out the don't touch me, I would assume he has a girlfriend. He might just find me attractive and doesn't want to be overly rude about it, but I would probably end it there in terms of pursuing something more. I'd probably feel slightly guilty about having touched him and will make sure to not do it again.

I like to tease and flirt too, so that's definitely good advice - but just keep in mind that some people do take those 'back off' signals in clearer terms than others.

I've done the "Don't touch me" thing before and I remember a girl I knew telling me about it a long time after I did it. She told me that it made her feel like she did something wrong and that she felt like she had to somehow make up for whatever mistake she did. It didn't scare her away but it only made her feel like she was going to lose me somehow. I can see how it wouldn't work for every girl, I already knew that this particular girl liked me so I knew it wouldn't scare her away. But that's just it, I KNEW she liked me. It was early on around the time we met. It was just something to get her more attracted to me. I suppose it will work only if you absolutely know the girl likes you.

If you don't feel comfortable using that one then try this one. Now like I said before, do this only when a flirty and teasing relationship has been established. Girls will usually subconsiously touch a guys arm lightly throughout the conversation if she is attracted. Say this if she touches your arm lightly "Whoa whoa whoa! Hands off the merchandise! What? Are we starting a tab here? You must be rich!" laugh and smile when you say this so it is perceived as a joke! It's the same thing really but just in a lighter context. Now I know it sounds arrogant just reading it but come on, if you are flirting with a guy and it's going very very well would you be offended or would you flirt back? It's just a fun playful thing and it's better than talking about the same old boring topics like what you do for work.