My heart waits upon an answer... please help

[Braidy Jones]

Me and my ex were together for 2yrs and 9mths and its been 5weeks that he broke up with me. Im finding it hard and amd just living in hope that if i give him time hell come back to me.

 

He broke up with me as he doesnt want to be in a realtionship anymore. I understand were hes coming from as we are young and have missed out on things beening together for so long, biut thiswas our first love, im 19 and he 20yrs old.

 

I asked him whether we have a chance of getting back togther in a few months or so if i give him time and space to sort his head out his reply would bei dont no what i want, there isnt any1 esle he actually wants to be with and loves me to bits.

 

Bascially he wants to be a lad as be able to do what he wants, we said we'd leave it 2months and see how things were between us then but i couldnt do that i found it hard and have called him 3/4 times and been over to see him at his house 3times too. He says that, thats does help as its making it longer for him to know what he wants. As i guess i arent giving him the time we said we would have from each other.

 

But the thing is last monday i spoke to him as he said that if were to have meet now that id be the girl he'd wanna marry, id be his wifey as im the sweetest girl as he would have done whatver when younger. But at the moment hes liking the attention hes gettng from girls etc. I respect him for being honest with me as he could have just ate his cake and had it all by cheating on me and still being with me as, but i know he hasnt cheated on me as i said to him you can do what you want if we stay together with whoever as he said no i wouldnt ever do that to you, id hurt myself knowing know much id be hurting you...

 

But i dont know what to do, i pray every night that in due time we'll get back together but i dont know what to do. Im thinking if i give him time he'll come back to meas he'll realise that beeinig single isnt everything. But it annoys me that he doesnt give me a straight answer about whether there is a chance we could get back together and when i ask him whether he still loves me he doesnt answer what does that mean? Its been 5days now that i havent txted nor called him and im gonna try keep this up until the end of october which is when our 3yr anniversary would have been and im gonna ask him then to give me straight answer as it would have been a month that we have no zero contact. Thats if he doesnt contact me before that or if we bump into each other on nights out at uni. But what do you think hes feeling? do you think hes gonna come running back to me?

 

I need some advice, hes on my mind everyday and its killing me inside.... what do you think hes feeling?

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

I know what you are going through...I know how you feel. The waiting has probably felt more like two years then two weeks. However you have to think more of yourself then to just wait in the wind for someone who decided all of a sudden after two years...."Hey times up, i'm a young lad, and i need my space"

 

GIVE HIM HIS SPACE and take some for yourself too. I always feel like once you see whats out there, you may not even want him to come back. And yes you are very young, but that doesnt take the sincerity out of your feelings. 13 year olds fall in love. So I know you are in real pain.

You are young, and you are more then likely a hottie, woman don't you wait for this man to come back to you. For what so that two more years down the line he can decide that you are not what he wants again. "Hey its been two years, and its that time of year again, where I want to sow my royal oats again whoo hooo" NO way girlfriend, you have the power and you give it all to him. Waiting, wait for what, for how long. Take wait out of your vocablulary, and exchange that word with "moving" as in moving along with your life. Try to focus on you. If you can give him the space you would be surprised what may happen. Oh I am telling you from personal experience..

THE SUN RISES WITH NO MAN, NOR DOES IT SET UPON HIS BROW

once you can learn to live with out him, then if you take him back, you will learn that you are strong and don't have to put up with just any kind of treat ment, because you will know, your world does not revolve around him. It just seems that way now.

[Gilgamesh]

Sweetypie gave some good advice.

 

Let me add, that you DO need to let him find himself, its a part of growing up, he its obvious he cares about you, and he did this in the best possible way so as to not hurt you, and leave the doors open.

 

What you need to do is take advantage of this time, to find yourself, learn to be alone awhile, I know it sounds silly now, but a few months alone with out anyone but yourself, and you will discover many things believe me.

 

As for the two of you getting back together someday, its a very good possibility, but you need to give him his space to experiment and find out who and what he is. nobody ever forgets their first love. and he will never forget you, but, if you smother him, and make it difficult for him to become a man, you will push him further away. So limit your contacts with him, encourage him! tell him, you understand now what he needs to do, and that youll be his friend that he can call on when he needs you.

 

normally i would not give this advise, but since you both started very young, neither one of you has been free adults and in a sense have not learned what it is to be independent individuals.

 

Also i need to say, that this could take years not months, so dont put your Ex on a clock, because if hes not ready in a few months, he may feel bad and distance himself from you even more if you put some kind of deadline, so dont do that.

 

If and when you ever do decide to get back together, it will be under very different circumstances, you both would have grown in many ways, and the love between you "could" be even stronger and more certain, because there will be no doubt that this is what you both want!.

[Liam]

I think by now u would have pretty much read thru the forum for similar situations n advices.

 

Most of them suggests that u should left ur ex alone for a while now.

I would agree that's the best option. Let ur ex feel life without u. Let him feel the lost. He can't feel it now cos u r still in contact.

 

He's running now. U r chasing. "Chasing after a running person only makes him run faster".

 

In the mean time, take care of urself. Go out n enjoy urself.

He sees u now as someone who's waiting for him. That's not very attractive. Show him that u can live without him. Show him that u can have fun without him too. It'll make u look more appealing to him.

 

Let him go. "If u love somebody enough, let him go. If he comes back, he's urs to keep forever n u'll know it's true love.".

 

I'm fighting a battle myself too. So i understand how u feel now.

My ex left me n our nearly 4yrs relationship for another guy 6weeks ago.

I kept calling her to come back to me. I was practically begging her. She was annoyed n even changed her number to avoid me. I wanted to die there n then. All these actions made me look dependent on her, can't live without her. Not very attractive eh? So i decided not to contact her anymore. I have more dignity n self respect. I shouldn't humiliate myself like that again.

 

I really know how u feel now Braidy Jones. I wish I could be there to hold ur hands n give u a big hug.

[lunatic]

Braidy Jones,

 

I have been there and done that with the woman I was to marry. She was younger than me and I had to let her go because she needed her space.

What I want to tell you is that you should start the process of moving on. Why should you wait around and let him have the upper hand like an ace in the hole. Trust me you are young and attractive. As an older man who is in his thirties I am telling you to move on. Pick up the pieces of your heart and soul and mend yourself. Take time to rediscover who YOU are and what you want from your life. Just move on because there are a lot of guys out there that will love you for you. There is no need to be anyone elses doormat or backup girl. You deserve better than this. I have been through this a few times in my life and one thing I have learned is that love can be a cruel feeling. You give your heart away and it is a very special thing, but it gives another person a hugh hold on you. Why should you wait around for this immature guy to figure out what he wants? You have to do what you need to so you can be happier in life. I personally think you should take this as a huge learning experince and move on.

Someday you will find the guy and will know that this will be the real thing. You are too young to get involved with a guy and settle down. Do yourself a favor and go out with your friends and have a great time over the next few years. Date as many men as possible and see what is out there. Don't ever settle for anything less than what you think is right for you.

If you want to talk about this feel free to IM or PM me anytime.

 

I hope this helps you out because a broken heart is a pain in the Butt. No one can take the pain away except you and time.

 

Good luck.

Hubman01