Girl problem..

[GiveMeStrength]

Hey,

 

Okay well I have been going out with this girl for a few weeks now, and it was love at first sight, I love everything about her, she says she is fat... But it's as clear as air she isn't... She is madly in love with me too, anyway we were out and we were on a hill with some friends, we have pulled and stuff, and i'm sure she isn't fridgid and would go further, we have talked about it, and my best friend gave me a condom because he made a mistake before and he said he dosn't want me to make the same mistake... And later that week, he was holding a party and I said to her maybe I should bring the condom just in case, she replied "yes please do!". I was excited and I feel like she is the right person to loose my virginity too, anyway, at the party there would be alcohol, and I was affraid that we would have sex but we'd be drunk, so it wouldn't mean anything, so I planned not to drink that night so I could remember it, also I told her that we didn't have to be drunk to have sex or do more intimated sex, she understood me... Well it turned out that I couldn't go to the party, also the party was a dud, and it apparently wasn't good, so I was relieved a bit... But I love her so much, i'd do anything to her and for her, I would love to have sex with her, not just for the sake of it, but because she means so much to me.

 

Anyway, the farest we have been is we've pulled and I have felt her boobs and stuff, but she sometimes dosn't like me doing it... Maybe it's because we're in a park and in public... I don't know tbh..

 

 

HELP!

 

xx

[Newo Ikkin]

Rule one: don't grope a girls boobs in public.

[addictedblue]

what do you mean by "pulling". oh and i agree with newo, girls don't like their boobs grabbed in public.

[GiveMeStrength]

Pulling as in kissing with tongues, and she kinda let me do it. She dosn't want to be seen me touching her boobs I guess..

 

More help please =]

 

x

[Newo Ikkin]

I may sound so typical, but are you sure you're both ready for a proper sexual relationship just yet? Its been a few weeks - and after a few weeks more of getting to know each other the decision will be a lot less 'I love her, she loves me' and more 'we feel comfortable and ready to do this.'

[krasnalka16]

I dont think that you should have sex just yet.. i think you should get more intimate step by step... not go right from kissing to sex... but it's up to you, if you both want it.. then go ahead..

And don't touch her like that in public, girls dont like it..

[CharLit]

hey GMS,

 

Good for you for thinking of protection! If I were you I would actually go out and buy a whole packet of condoms though, for a few reaons:

 

- so you can practise putting them on by yourself, it can be tricky the first few times

- carrying them around in a pocket or your wallet is bad for the condom because of warmth and friction... I don't know how long your friend and then you have been carrying around the one you have

- so you have extra ones on hand if this one accidentally rips while you're putting it on... or if you have so much fun you want to do it again of course! (you can NEVER EVER re-use a condom!)

- it might be good if your girlfriend were to get on the birth control pill, too. It's always good to use double protection, and you two won't have to worry about her getting pregnant as much - but worry enough to take the necessary precautions.

 

Ok, safety lecture out of the way: it's great that you guys really care about each other and want to make this special. For that reason, my advice would be WAIT.

 

Firstly, I don't imagine doing it on a pile of coats at a party while worrying that someone might come in is particularly romantic or relaxing...is that really the way you want to remember your first time? At the very least I would look for a better opportunity where you have plenty of time and privacy. Wouldn't it be far nicer if you had a place to yourselves, had a bath or a shower together, put on some chilled out music you both like, light a few candles etc. etc.?

 

Secondly and more importantly, first time sex is tricky, and often painful for the girl. The better you know each other's bodies and what turns you on, the better it will be when you do have sex. As krasnalka said, there are sooooo many things between kissing and sex that you can explore first, and I would really recommend that you take the time for them. (and i agree with the rest on not touching her boobs in public, or doing anything other than kissing in public!)

 

other things to do:

 

- gently exploring each others bodies with your hands and mouth to find out where the sensitive spots are. They could be in really unexpected places, like the insides of your arms (try running your fingers very lightly accross them, you can also explore your own body to try and discover what might be fun for her), earlobes, neck, spine etc. Breasts too, but be gentle!!! breasts are sensitive, squeezing them can hurt.

- massages

- you fingering her, her giving you a handjob - again, you really need to learn to do these things in a way that feels good to the other, and don't be afraid to tell one another what feels good and what doesn't, communication is key to good sex!

- having a bath or shower together

- going down on one another, see above: this too, takes practise.

 

etc.

etc.

etc.

 

If you want this to be great, take the time to learn to do all these things well, it isn't a race to get to the sex - sex all by itself isn't all that interesting, it the mood, the foreplay (all the things i described above and more) that make it good.

 

And by the way, "frigid" means having no sexual desire whatsoever. There is a massive difference between having no desire and just being nervous about doing everything for the first time - as I'm sure your girlfriend is. Don't rush her, or yourself, into anything. Like i said before: communicate. Talk about your likes and dislikes, talk about what you're scared of, always make sure you're both comletely comfortable with what you're doing.

 

take care, and don't be afraid to ask advice!

 

C

 

P.S. As for her thinking she's fat - just keep telling her how beautiful she is!

[astaro]

one extra tip while we're at, i would advise against being drunk , especialy if its her first time to, it changes from girl to girl but there is a good chanse you are going to need to be very gentle with her and its rather hard when your hammered

 

also, i dont know how much you drink but having erection problems due to alcohol is VERY common.