A funny thing is happening to me

[Blazer]

Hello all,

 

Just checking in and also wanted to let those of you who are not feeling so well after a break-up know that with time and some effort toward being good to yourself things do get better. I am experiencing this right now. I don't know how long ago my relationship ended, I stopped keeping track of that. But if any of you have read some of my previous posts, you would remember it hit me pretty hard and I had a lot of trouble dealing with it. I can honestly say that although I dont believe that I am completely over it all, I feel so much better than I did. I had a call from my ex the other day and she wanted to re-visit some very memorable times we shared. I was able to do that and it didn't leave me with any desire to re-unite or feel any of the huge sense of loss that I once felt. She was very complimentary toward me, she accepted responsibility for the break-up and even said that she felt as though she had lost someone (me) who made her feel more loved and appreciated than anyone she had ever known. The funny thing is that even though she said all those nice things about what a great person she thought I was, and I really appreciated hearing that ... I didn't feel like trying to get back together with her. I, in turn, also told her how special she was to me and always would be, but again I didn't feel compelled to take it any further. At the end of the conversation her mood turned more toward sadness and I truly felt sorry for her. I really do care for her but I have learned something very important from what happened. I treat the people in my life with honesty, patience, loyalty and I am "there" for them when they need me. I think its fair to expect that in return and I didn't get it from her. I'm not in a place emotionally where I can consider a new relationship, I am keeping my focus on being a good father and a good friend to the people in my life that I am fortunate to have around me. For now thats enough. I am sorry if this came out as a bit of a ramble but I think that the message I am hoping to get accross to someone reading this is that if you focus on the good things you have, try to improve the things about yourself that you feel need some extra work and channel your thoughts and energy toward things that you enjoy, you will start to feel better. Its a process, it takes time, there are bad days and long nights but the mind has an amazing capability to heal itself. Be patient, be good to yourself and the people who care about you. It works !

[b2761]

congrats on your progress and your path.

[distroyed one]

Such a great post, and I'm so glad that you feel better! Breaking up is so difficult thing to survive.. It takes so much strength to raise above betray, pain, crying.. Right now it feels that I'm so far from having my old life back and I'm so glad to read that someone is on the way of recovery! Just be strong and enjoy each day that brings you to your new freedom!

[mca1975]

it feels so good to read that post and know there is hope! I am slowly starting to feel good about my life and the things i have in it and I am starting to really get on with things without thinking about "him" all the time and what he is doing. but he keeps contacting me intermittently and tries to be friends but i am just not ready for it. the contact upsets me and I just dont feel ready to do it, so for now I have to ignore the contact, which makes me feel rude and horrible as i finished iwth him, but its for the best otherwise i (and he) will probably never properly heal and get on with our lives.

 

It is really good to know that in time i will be feeling fully happy again and at peace some day soon!

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Tomorrow will be a better day...

[Texas Girl]

Hi Blazer, You've been so kind to me in my posts giving encouragement. I'm so happy to hear you are on the path to healing! Good for you. I thought this was a great post and shows that you have reached that final step - acceptance...

[kekep]

blazer, i'm in the same stage as you are and i feel fantastic. although, i'm not as friendly with my ex as you are, which probably makes you a bigger person than i am. i won't even respond to my ex's attempts to communicate with me. i feel he doesn't deserve friendship from me, and i'd like to keep him in the past for good. and i can't think of a single thing my ex could do that would convince me to re-enter our relationship.

 

it's so hard to believe at the time of a breakup that things will get better and that you will move on from the person. but they really do! it's amazing how getting along by yourself will improve your self-esteem and confidence.

 

to everyone out there who is suffering right now, be easy on yourself...take one day at a time. do little things that make you feel good: go on walks, get manicures/pedicures, work out, read a lot, go out and be sociable (try one month of accepting every invitation you get!). as time goes on, you really do find yourself thinking of them less. sure, there are days when you'll feel sad about everything, but with every passing week or month, the time between those sad days and feeling great about life will grow longer.