Looking at Underage 'Models' and Porn

[ConfusedinTexas]

My husband looks at porn every day. I had a problem with it in the beginning because literaly any spare minute he had he was on his computer surfing. Now he only looks in the morning and before I get home from work. And it goes in cycles kind of.

 

I had looked at his computer in December and found a secret email acct that he has used to send some sexual emails to his best friends wife. And it also was part of a group that had pictures of a, maybe 12 yr old girl, in a ballerina outfit in various poses. Now she was dressed but I think it very strange that he would sign up for her group ~ to see her do the splits?

 

So finally we got the best friend and his wife out of our life and I explained that as long as it wasn't a huge secret him looking at porn wasn't a big deal I just didn't understand the secretcy. (He shut the door and closed the browser when I was around) BUT that in no way should be have any pictures of young girls, even dressed, they were in inappropriate poses and I told him he should be very careful.

 

Well I was doing a google search with the email address just this week ~ just goofing around ~ he had been closing his door again. I found where he had asked about a MSN group. The page I saw had pics of a mother (not very attractive) and a young 12-13 yr girl (pretty) in a bikini in some cheesecake poses. It make me sick that some man took the pictures and then posted them and even sicker that I believe my husband wanted to see those pics and not the woman.

 

I don't understand. WHY would he want to see young girls, with their breasts just growing, in that light? Could someone please help?

 

I know he does look at adult porn. Our sex life is okay and I don't think he masterbates to the porn. I don't know.

[enadevoli]

you should tell your husband your feelings & ask him why he does it. you need to be honest with each other. if he has a problem, you should encourage him to get help.

[ConfusedinTexas]

When I found the first site he said it was accident ~ He had come accross it and yeah it was not a good site to be attached too.

 

I didn't tell him about the latest find. I really don't want to get into the whole drama. He will be mad and I know it won't stop. I just don't understand that whole young girl thing...

[Gunther]

hmmmm..... you want to be totaly certain, I would suggest two things {forgive the underhandedness of this suggestion.} either search his hard drive w\o his knowing it. {my personal favorite} or two tell him that you going to search his hard drive and he should confess now if he has anything to hide {probly the better of the two} if you dont know how to search a hard drive, I will tell you how a windows drive search works. first there will be a start button in the bottom left corner. then you right click on it and there will be an option that sais soemthing like "search" or "find" click that then go to the top were it has a task bar you can scroll down go to one marked "winC" or "C something like that. then search for key words like "porn" "sex" "kiddie" that kind of thing {hate to be so blunt but it has to be said} do this and you will find your answere. {unless he delets any evidence offa his hard drive like I would but I dont think he does, if there is nothing be sure to check the trash icon}

[ConfusedinTexas]

He erases all his history and files every time he gets off the computer. That is how I found out the first time about the secret yahoo account and group. He is very careful now. It was just weird that I was messing around on the internet and did a search with his email and found where he asked about a group. The page where he asked had a mother in a bikini posed and other pics had her daughter (who looked about 13). I guess the girl had all her 'adult curves' but looking you can tell she is young. Supposedly the husband took the pics of his wife and daughter. The daugther was in a backyard in her bikini doing little poses and on her bed on her side in a bikini. What in h*ll is wrong with that father is another thing.

 

It really scares me that he might get off to girls just reaching puberty. I don't think he would actually do anything with those feelings but what if he did? I was trying to figure out what in the world could be going through his mind. Is this sort of normal for men?

 

I look at the girl and think oh my goodness she looks young. I think from a mothers point of view. I have a son ~ thank goodness no daughter. But as a parent I have tried to protect my son from people that would exploit or hurt him. As a human being any child I think abused brings me anger and sadness. I don't see why my husband doesn't feel those those things looking at these young girls.

 

I know I need to talk to him about it but I think we will get into a heated argument and I just don't know how it will end. I am really thinking about leaving because I just don't know if I could ever feel comfortable that he isn't looking at a 13 yr old girl and thinking about how her body looks in those jeans barely covering her butt or whatever.

 

I thought I'd try to sort it out in my mind before I talked to him. I cried and cried when I found it. I am at least calmer now.

 

Really any advise or insight would be helpfull.

 

I wish I could determine how much he actually looks at those sort of sites but without going to the extreme of putting spyware on his computer I don't think I can. And I feel if I have to go to that extreme all is really lost.

[Been_Down_Almost_Every_Roa]

Hey there. My Name is Angel. I hope its ok to call you Tex, forgive the pun, it's just shorter. Funniest thing,...I was directed to a wrong website on an assignment on helping kids cope with Abuse. I'm even a bit embarrassed to tell you this (along with everyone else around come to think of it). Well, like my screen-name implies, at my young age, (24) , I have indeed been down almost every road. I think I might be able to help explain your husband's problem. Here comes the embarrassing and potentially suicidal part.... Tex, I've kinda felt the same as your husband, with some well, I was going to say big differences, but to many, it wouldn't be considered a very big difference at all. I like to look at 'lolikon', which is ANIMATED pictures with models that look somewhat underage. Some more than ot6hers. Most of it I like, because most girls on there look like about 15 or 16 or so. In my opinion, that is sexy. But, there is a catch. They are only 'sexy' to me because they are animated. They are not REAL. If they were real, I would be disgusted. I'm a weird person with an open-mind for almost anything except true immorality in this world. Like you said, there is definitely something wrong with the man who took those pictures..of HIS OWN DAUGHTER! That is so beyond wrong. This should not happen in real life. Tex, You seem like you are a genuinely loving woman, and more than one helluva wife. A very concerned good wife. *sigh* Now...I'm going to put some disturbing thoughts into your head. Its the only reasons in all my experience that I can think of why he would do these things. One: When your husband was around that age, he was molested or raped by someone close to him, consequently, he was too young to realize that he had been victimized and actually came to like what happened to him, or pushed it out of his mind completely. Thus the deep-seated sub-conscious thought that others that age probably think the same way...but also, he feels ashamed of it, (everytime you come in the room, he turns it off or shuts the door) so he knows its wrong. But he can't help but listen to the influence of his past. That, or TWO: ....two...Tex, you have to come face-to-face with the possibility that there just might be something very wrong with your husband. In that case, as one of the people before me posted,... you must get him to seek help, and if not, seek help for him. It is probably in no way his fault he feels these things, and I'd hate to see a woman as good as you suffer with that pain. You've already taken the first step. This site. You've already begun to seek help. Keep it up. I just hope you don't mind taking advice from someone as weird as me. Your husband probably will never admit he was ever molested or anything of the sort, but it is a DEFINITE possibility. I don't know your husband, Tex. So I don't know if he'd ever act on these feelings,...but you must assume responsibility for your knowledge and WATCH him like a hawk around kids. It seems mean and cold, but it is a neccessity if you are to protect any child from enduring the same pain. It's in your hands now, sweetie. ....I really do wish you all the luck and prayers in the world. If you need to talk with me further, or WANT rather(instead of NEED. I doubt you'd ever need to speak with me.) Post here again, or I believe my E-mail is supposed to be posted somewhere on my profile. Good luck, ---Angel

[Been_Down_Almost_Every_Roa]

BTW, I realize that post was 3 years old, but if you are still on here at times and still needed help, I tried my best.