I need a girl to answer this plea...

[uglyguy]

Well, this is my first time posting on this website and my first time consulting someone else about this subject in my life.

 

I am 16 years old and I am friends(not best friends, more acquaintance friends) with a girl who is 17 years old(we are 9 months apart). And we have known each other for about 4 years now. And every day that I see her I seem to love her even more than ever. I have even (I know this sounds crazy) vowed to love only her for the rest of my life even if she does not return the feelings to me. Yet she doesn't know any of this. She thinks we are mere friends. I don't want her to think I'm weird by telling her I love her so much, but I do want her to know it so that I wont regret not telling her. I am also waiting till near the end of my senior year so that our friendship won't be awkward if she rejects me.

 

There is also one other problem…According to most people I've talked to, she is one of the top 5 best looking girls in my school and she is white. I'm Indian (I was born here) and I'm probably one of the uglier (bottom 10%) guys at our school. So as you can see, she has plenty of opportunities to go out with other guys, but she is really pure and has only gone out with 3 as long as I've known her (no sex or making out either as far as I think).

 

So I ask you how I can approach her? I am not the funny type of guy that all girls like…I'm just another ugly nerd. And my second question is, just based upon what I have told you, what are my chances with her? Finally, if I was to walk up to you (assuming you are in her situation) and I told you, "I love you with all my heart and I always will. Even if you don't feel the same way about me, I still want to make you as happy as possible for the rest of your life. I know that I'm not the kind of guy that you would ever want to go out with, but I just wanted to mention it so that I wouldn't regret it later in life."

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this massive post and for any help you can offer.

[lilcherub]

Be straightforward and honest. But be prepared that she may not feel the same way you do, or that she may value your friendship more then anything. Most of all be honest with her, because if your not honest with her your not being honest to yourself.

 

And if she doesn't return the feelings, then except it and move on. Be her friend and try not to let your feelings get in the way. Because it will only jeopardize your friendship in the long run.

 

 

lilcherub

 

I hope this helps

[Anamarie89]

If you say those exact words youw rote, you might freak her out a little.

 

Sure, be honest, but keep it simple and test the waters before diving in. You can try and judge how she will respond to the full-out confession by leading into it. If she responds positively to that, then go for it! If she's known you that long, I doubt she even notices your looks. And also she doesn't sound like the sort of guy who'd go with someone just because they're gorgeous.

[Mar]

I have to agree.......don't spill your entire heart out as you posted, that'll just kinda scare her away. But you'll never know where you stand unless you DO tell her you have feelings for her. You could just put it simply, something to the effect of, "I know we've talked occasionally, but I think you're a great girl and would like to spend more time getting to know you." If she gives you an odd look and a fake smile (you'll be able to tell) and says "Um yeah, sure," then you know she's not the one for you. But if she thinks that's a great idea and tells you so, then you know you have a chance. Don't use lines, don't "pour out your love", that's a bit much for someone you don't know well and people are paranoid about stalkers these days! But if you take the simple approach, you'll be letting her know you're interested, and it won't be a big deal if she doesn't take the bait. Good luck!

[ProphetSword]

You know, there's a couple of things in your post that caught my attention, and I want you to think real hard about all these things:

 

* You're young. Believe me when I tell you that there will be other girls in this world for you to fall in love with. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way, but trust me when I tell you that others will come. She is not the only one. In fact, you should realize that she's *not* perfect and that she is only one in a sea of millions. There are plenty of special women out there, and I'm sure if she's not the one for you, there is one that will be glad that she didn't have enough good taste to choose you.

 

* How do you know you're in the bottom 10% of ugly people? And, why does that matter? Personality can overcome looks. In high school, I wasn't very attractive, but now that I'm older, plenty of women in the last week alone have called me sexy, cute, and handsome...and I don't usually believe them because I grew up percieving myself as unattractive. Do yourself a favor, work on your personality as hard as you can. Being attractive is more than looks...ask a lot of women here about that...some will go for looks...some will go more for heart (men are the same way).

 

* You can certainly be bold and tell her you love her, but I bet you *don't* love her. It's easy to think you love someone...but until they truly return the feelings, you can't love them. You can be obsessed about them...you can be infatuated...you can have a huge crush. Love is something that is shared. Put it in your head that you do not love her, but you are very fond of her. Start to see her that way, and it will help you. And if you tell her anything, just tell her that she is special to you...I don't think putting pressure on her about how much you "love" her is great idea at this point.

 

* Do yourself another favor as well...find other girls to like too. Make friends with them too, if you have to. That way, if it doesn't work out, you know you still have other options. I try to always have options when I can...sometimes you can't...but keep going anyway and others will arise.

 

* Finally, don't think you can't get a girl just because she's pretty. But, also, don't feel that you have to go only for the pretty ones (I have met so many lovely ladies who get passed over because they don't quite "make the grade" in being super-pretty...and everyone of them are fantastic ladies that were worth knowing). When you're young, it's easy to get caught up in the looks game. Learn young that looks aren't the sole criteria for liking someone. A pretty girl makes a man feel all crazy inside...but that's a lust thing...love is something else...and you'll learn that as you go.

 

Hope this helps. Usually, it's the kind of thing you don't want to hear, but the sooner you realize this is all true, the sooner you can help yourself be the kind of man that finds the right woman.

[uglyguy]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Even though its not really what I wanted to hear, I guess I can change. If anyone else has any other viewpoints I would still like to hear them, just to see what everyone thinks.

[Cid]

Fallow your hart, if you truly love her and you think you should tell her then tell her. I wish you the best of luck on what ever you deside is the best plan.

[Mar]

Hey Prophet, are you single at the moment? I think I love you...LOL

 

He's absolutely right...I'm one of those that didn't "make the grade" as far as looks go, i.e. I'm not supermodel-skinny/pretty, but my personality has NEVER gotten a complaint. As you mature, and the women you know mature, they're going to realize that personality is SO much more important than looks. It's true....looks fade, who you are doesn't.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself....looks aren't everything, and ANY woman worth her salt will tell you the same. It's not the looks you're finally attracted to, after all, it's who the person is. Relax, and just be yourself. Yes, a LOT of people will pass you over if you're not attractive, but the ones who can see deeper will realize what a treasure they have in someone who is just a nice, honest, caring person!

[ProphetSword]

See, I knew someone would back me up...

 

All the advice I've given you is advice I have to give to myself as well. A young lady I was chasing who had been a friend for a while turned out to be someone who was bad for me and who wanted to play games with me. So, I learned that you need to look past your feelings and see who these people are underneath before you even pursue them.

 

Make sure you know who she is before you go after her. You may think you know her, but you may also be looking at her through a pair of rose-colored glasses, and it can taint your vision. And often times, the prettier they are, the harder it is to see beyond the skin.

 

I don't know why people are that way...don't you wish we all looked the same on the outside? If we did, then everyone would *immediately* start looking at what was inside because the outside wouldn't matter anymore. And yeah, it might be boring, but I promise you that every person in this world would focus on being better people right from the beginning.

 

Treat everyone the same, no matter what they look like. Let them prove what kind of people they are.

 

Okay, enough preaching from me. Any luck with your situation yet?