My Husband Met Someone Online, He Thinks He Loves Her!

[Becky35]

Sometime in June of this year, my husband met a woman online and has been talking to her non-stop. We have been separated since 09/02, but he's been dragging the divorce process along. We actually got back together for 2 months, but he said I wasn't giving him enough sex.

 

He's called me twice and emailed me once since I found out about this other woman. Mostly, friendly conversation; however, he ended up telling me about an ex-girlfriend who is constantly trying to seduce him. (this is in addition to his online affair) This really bothers me. When I asked about this "Online," woman, he says that he doesn't want to discuss her with me because that is his "Private life." He told me that she had something that I didn't, but couldn't tell me what it was.

 

Anyway, what does all this mean? He knows I still love him, so why does he tell me about other woman wanting him. And most of all, why is he so secretive about this woman he met online?

[enadevoli]

my guess is that he's just a jerk trying to make you jealous. you don't deserve the way he's treating you, no one does. my opinion is, & i know it will probably be hard, is to forget him. once the divorce is over, move on with your life & find someone who deserves you. your husband can't be trusted. you don't need to deal with someone who says his "internet girl" has something that you can't give him. do you seriously even want to know what that something is?? you don't need to deal with that. you should find someone who will settle for what you have to give, because to him there will be nothing better.

[Princess777]

Becky,

 

It sounds to me like he is just trying to make you jealous. I don't see why anybody would tell you those things for any other reason. Think about it, if he really didn't care what you thought of him why would he tell you about any girls he is involved with? His self esteem and ego has been shot by your separation and he is trying to spread himself thin to appear more desirable. He may not have even met anyone online and even if he did, you probably don't want to know what's going on there.

 

That's such a classic excuse, "You're not giving me enough sex"... I absolutely hate that excuse!!!!! There's got to be a reason on both sides why the sex life diminishes and I don't think it's just one person's fault... something for you to think about.

 

I knew a guy who acted like that with me... he kept stringing me along and saying he loved me but had other girls on the side and ALWAYS talked about them, just any little thing to try to make me jealous.... I did a little emotional digging on him and he admitted he had low self-esteem. He turned out to be a really shallow person and I told him to leave me alone.

 

Hope this helps some! Good luck....

Princess777

[sayer7]

He sounds like he needs to grow up.... no wonder you're filing for divorce.

 

He sounds like a 5 year old saying "I like someone else and she's better than you ever were, but I'm not telling you how she's better than you- Just because I don't have to- so nuhhhhhh ."

 

How juvenile.

 

I can tell communication with him isn't very productive is it? Just tell him you're happy that he found someone new and has other women after him...

 

I guess they want a boy to play with. You want a real man.

 

 

[jezebelina]

I know how it is when you're really in love with someone: even if they're acting like a complete idiot and you know it, you can't just stop loving them, even if it's the right thing to do.

 

The advice everyone else gave you was good. He sounds like a bad husband. He sounds like he needs to grow up. It takes some of us longer than others. Hang in there, and follow your gut instincts, even when it's hard.

[SheHazCatEyez]

you can close your eyes to the things you dont wont to see,but you cant close your heart to the things you dont wont to feel

A divorce is like a new house that you've worked so hard to build with so much time,effort,thought,and care invested in it,then having a tornado come and destroy it.So you can either wait for someone else to come along with the bulldozer to haul off the remaining pieces so you can start over with a fresh new design OR you can pick up the remaining pieces,start rebuilding by hand and make sure you build a more solid foundation and disaster proof it as much as possible this time around.Divorce is a hard thing for anyone involved,but staying were your not happy is gonna be the hardest in the long run.So whichever you choose(packing up and walking out to move on) and saying "Here comes to the rest of my life" or (staying in it when u are unhappy),then your gonna be stuck saying "There goes my life". But,you got to think what makes you happy,what you want in the future,and if you don't see a lasting marriage in it,then by no means get out.Quit postering the idea or bickering about how unhappy you are and do something about it,cause no one can make that decision but you.Only you know what it's gonna take to make you happy.Yes,some have children involved and that makes things even harder. Though,we always try to put our kids best interests first.Does there best interest include a household environment thats full of fussing,arguing, tension,ect ?.I don't think any child would choose that environment, Because when they see this it's even worse on them than having 2 divorced parents.But I can tell you this..Women usually tend to stay in the marriage because they've become so dependent on there husbands that they feel they cant make it on there own and have lost there confidence to be independent.So,some men take that as a advantage.Because,when they know this they tend to lack respect for there wives,which lead them to run over the woman knowing the wife won't leave.But,for men they tend to stay in the marriage for fear of loosing something(there assests,alimony,fear they won't be able to see there children,ect.And yes..women tend to use there kids as a leverage over there husbands knowing if they do that the husband wont leave.So the only solid advice I can offer is that if you do decide to divorce try your best to end it in a good way,on some sort of civilized level.So,if you really want to do whats best for the kids atleast do that and for those who choose not to divorce>I wish you the best and good luck on rebuilding that new house.