What does this mean?

[Cooperstown]

I've seen this girl a few times now, went to dinner, cuddled up on the couch, etc etc and things have been going really well. We have great conversation and the attraction is definetely there. Last weekend she ended up coming over to my place and we had dinner and some wine and ended up watching a movie. The wine had us both a little buzzed and the topic of what this is came up and at that point we decided to make it official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She stayed over, I got to hold her it was a really amazing evening and I haven't had one of those in a very long time. We ended up getting together at her place on Sunday and we just hung out and talked. I ended leaving and heading back to my place and on the way home I got a phone call from her saying we needed to talk about what we were. She said she's not ready for a title yet and wants to keep things the way they were. I asked if that meant she wanted to see other people and she said no, she isn't going to do that she just isn't ready for a title. Now I'm really confused by this because what the heck does this mean exactly? I understand the words and in some ways this makes sense, but she's told me that she really needs a lot of attention in a relationship and that's fine, I like being there for her. I guess I'm wondering am I just getting used to fill a void so she gets the attention she needs when she wants it but doesn't have anything to give in return. She calls me everyday, makes plans with me, were going out again this Wednesday then over to a friends house together on friday and probably staying there. I'm just really confused on what to think of this, sometimes regardless of how a person is acting words like that can hurt. I mean is she embrassed to be mine?

[Boughs]

embarrassed to be yours. Perhaps she's concerned about the image/commitment of it. Maybe hang out more privately at first... don't tell people you are dating her... just tell people "we'll see"... why not let her know that you don't want it known that you two are dating... not yet at least.

[blender]

Well it can mean many things, but I think it is about (to use her own words) "she needs attention".. because it's not as if you told her "we are now boyfriend and girlfriend, I now proclaim us a COUPLE'... nope you didn't say anything, you just enjoyed her company, and yet SHE CALLED YOU to say, "I don't want a "title"..... well where in the heck did that come from, who was asking her to have a "title"?

 

See, it's as if she needed or wanted to get some sort of "reaction" from you, or just "keep you on your toes" because in fact she is "falling for you" and she may be a bit insecure and thinks that if she "shows" that she likes you TOO much, you might not want her as much anymore, so she "projects this emotion" and tries to cut it off at the pass by being the one to officially say, "hey, it's not a done deal yet mister"...

 

Do you know what I mean? For her doing this, is like an "emotional safety net" so to speak.

 

I really think "actions speak louder than words" that is why I've come to this type of speculation regarding her, because although she's said (words) "I don't want a title".. well, her ACTIONS are very proactive in pursuing this relationship.. she's calling, making plans, spending more and more time with you.. so rest easy, and if you find in time that she "may need more DRAMA and not "respectful attention", well you might want to step back a bit and ask yourself is this a relationship she's having with me or some "emotional rollercoaster of a movie" she wants to star it..

[blender]

P.S. for right now, just go along with what she "says" but be sure to be aware of her emotional pattern with you, and just see how it goes, no need to put "titles" on it now anyway, if she brings it up again, just say to her, "I've never suggested a "title" for us, and I too would like to enjoy getting to know you more as well, and see how this relationship develops...no rush, I like you, you like me, it's a fine start..okay?"

[Cooperstown]

That makes sense, hopefully that's the case. Sometimes our heads spin feelings our heart has all different directions and it over complicates situations like this. Thanks for the advice, I feel much better about this now.

[Locke2121]

Sounds to me like she's been burned before and doesn't want to rush anything. For now just hang on for the ride and have some fun!

[domertobe14]

Not embarrassed to be yours...maybe a little afraid of commitment. She wants to "see you" but doesn't want to be offically "going out". She still likes you and wants to do the same stuff as if you were going out, just not. Haha its confusing. But be happy. And good luck.

[ghost69]

don't throw the title thing back in her face. don't say that you didn't say anything about a title like the above said. she will feel like you hold onto stuff. anyways, take it slow with her then. she will come around. she probably jumped into some relationships before and the outcome wasn't pleasant. she is a slow mover.