What should I do?

[Perpetuus]

Recently I got dumped by my girlfriend but she still wants to be my friend... One time I asked her if I got dumped and she said no. But I know she's saying that to make me feel better. During the summer she ignored me for three weeks and we didn't talk for a while either. The next time that we talked I asked her what happened and was told that I am not her boyfriend anymore. Now I know she is not cheating or anything, but for some reason she doesn't want me to be her boyfriend. Whenever I talk to her now I get confused and sometimes even get mad at what she decided to do (break up). However, she still very strongly wants me as a friend and still cares about me, she also talks to me everyday, just like before. What does this all mean?

 

Thanks

[NickA449]

In my opinion, I think you should move on. Staying friends with someone right after you break up is very hard to do because someone is always hurt and someone always wants the other person back (unless the break-up was mutual, but that's not in your case). Breaking up is painful no matter what, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea. I know that's easy for me to say, but trust me, you should really try and distance yourself from her as much as possible. Someday down the road, you may or may not decide to stay friends with her, but most likely eventually you will probably lose contact with her. Your relationship with her did not work out, but others in the future will. Remember the good times and try your best to move on-keep busy and try not to think about her and in time all will be okay. That's my advice.

[Perpetuus]

Thanks for the advice guys. Well, I guess I should add something, and that is, I am in university right now, but she's taking a year off. Other than me, she does not have any friends nearby anymore because they have all gone to places 2 or 3 hours from where we live. (I go downtown everyday for my classes). So what I am saying is, I am very confused as to what I should do right now, because if I leave her (as a friend), then she'll be all lonely with no friends there for her. This is such a difficult time in my life..

[its your life]

Been there, done that. You have to do what is best for you......Even if it means knowing she'll hurt more without many friends. She did what was best for her in dumping you, so don't feel you owe her any special privledges. I loved my girlfriend too before she broke up with me, but if she really needed you she wouldn't have left in the first place. Give her space and let her be her own person. My girlfriend too wanted to be friends (and best friends) right after we broke up and I told her I can't do that right now. You need to step back and see what's best for you. So distance yourself from her (even if it hurts) and pick up some new hobbies, new friends and put yourself back together. She will see this, respect you for this and maybe down the road something will work out!

 

Things do get better. That one thing I never thought possible, but you will survive and be a good indivdual.