Working with your ex...

[spikespiegel]

I've posted on my situation quite a few times, if you feel like digging up my previous posts, feel free.

 

My ex broke up with my in the beginning / middle of December and led me to believe that I was at fault for causing the end of our relationship, when in reality she left me for another man, and in my eyes, was possibly cheating on me (definitely emotionally, maybe physically). She led me on for a good 3 weeks, telling me how hard the breakup and the Christmas season were for her, then I told her we needed to stop talking when I saw that it wasn't going anywhere.

 

We've texted a few times, once when she offered sympathy for my Grandpa passing away, another time when I walked by her at work and didn't see her, and we e-mailed a couple of times about our classes. She also texted me once a few weeks ago to tell me that "our" song was on the radio.

 

So we also work together, in a very large building. We wouldn't have to see each other if we didn't want to, there are about 30-40 rows of seats, and I ALWAYS sit in the same area, at one end of the building. She knows this, she used to sit with me until she broke up with me, then relocated to the opposite side of the building. A few weeks ago, she started sitting near me again. She has been sitting in a spot that I HAVE to notice, as I walk right by it when I go on / come back from my breaks. At first I thought it was a fluke, but she has been sitting there for 3 weeks now, and although I ignore her, I can feel her eyes on me every time I walk by.

 

What is her motivation for doing this? Ladies, if you were in the same situation as I just posted, wouldn't you stay as far away as possible to keep things from being uncomfortable? Is there a motivation here, or am I reading too much into this? In any case, it makes me very angry, because I feel like she is completely invading my somewhat private space at work when she has the option to not do so.

[keefy1972]

Maybe she broke up with some other guy on the other side of the building?? You never know as anything is possible.

[lady00]

Could be a million things. I don't think anyone here could tell you what's been going through her mind. I would try to just ignore it.

[spikespiegel]

Could be a million things. I don't think anyone here could tell you what's been going through her mind. I would try to just ignore it.

 

 

I'm trying. It's difficult though when after not having to see her for a month and a half, I have to walk right by her each time I go to work

[ruby19]

That's rough, your stituation sounds very similar to mine. Got a big noble speech about how we just weren't right for each other blah blah when it turns out he has a new person he was ready to move onto.

 

I'd say your ex is trying to get your attention, but I don't know her motivations. Could be just trying to build up her ego, or she could genuinely miss you and want you to notice her so you start talking again. Hard to say.

 

The breaking up with another guy in the building has merit, or is your part of the building a lot nicer or is there construction or anything going on where she normally sits on the other side of the building?

[spikespiegel]

Well first off, the guy she left me for doesn't work with us.

 

Also, no, there really isn't anything going on in the building as far as renovation-wise. It's just one large room with rows upon rows of computer stations.

 

And ruby19, don't you just love that situation? Lets them leave relatively guilt-free, they get to have their cake and eat it too. Argh.

[ruby19]

I so hear you Spikespiegel; they are lying to the person they break up with, and in my case the new girl as well so I can't really have a problem with her. Great way to start and end relationships

 

The biggest lie though is to themselves, I really don't understand how my ex could look himself in the mirror or live with himself after critizicing similar behaviour in his sister and friends but meanwhile turn out to be the exact same way.

 

But then I've started hearing the revisionist version of our relationship from him and what he told other people and he has totally twisted everything into a total distortion of the truth. He wants to look like a good guy, especially to himself so he has fabricated this whole situation. I think that is what cheaters must have to do, unless they are totally subhuman, they have to live such a lie they start to believe it themselves.

 

We're better off without them but it still hurts a lot. And I feel so dumb for not seeing it when we were together, but I'd rather be a person whose fault is they trust people too much and believe what they are being told is the truth rather than a pathetic liar and user.

 

The karma bus has come around and flattened a few previous boyfriends of mine who did similar stuff. Hoepfully your ex will get a dose of it herself and learn to treat people better.

[spikespiegel]

I hope so too Ruby. I'm a big believer in karma as well, and I think (and hope) what goes around come around. I don't think that these people are cosmically allowed to get away with pulling things like this.