Did we break up over sex??

[jordan1234]

I was in a relationship with my GF on and off for about 2 years. Our sex life was amazing. We were that couple that would have sex for 45 to an hour on average. We would have what i would charaterize as a normal amount of sex. 4-5 times a week. It was always a strength in our relationship i felt.

 

Starting in December we hit a bit of a rut. We were very busy with christmas stuff (every weekend we had tons of plans). We stayed at my brother's house and could not have sex one weekend and then another weekend I was gone. On top of that and obvious women issues, we just kind of got out of the habit for about a month. We didn't really talk about, since i felt it was just a circumstantial phase, but then in the second week of january she ended things quite suddenly.

 

I am wondering i guess a chicken and an egg question. Was the no sex because feelings were being lost or part of the losing of feelings. I mean she could have easily initiated as well, and had in the past. Of course i did not lose feelings for her during this, just felt it was a rut. A part of me feels that if we had just had sex a few times it might have eased some of the tension. We were fighting a bit more than usual but not a ton. thoughts?

[arwen]

I doubt that sex was the cause. I think that the decrease of sex was a sign of other things going south. What did she say when she ended things? What were your fights about?

 

Arwen

[jordan1234]

Well, the fights were over stupid little thing (like always)....misunderstandings and whatnot. We seemd to get on the same which is why i didnt think anything crazy was going on. She claimed that she had lost her "Strong" feelings for me. But, she said this last year as well, and then begged to get back, whcih we did and were very happy. She sadi her feelings came back. So that was what she said when she ended things. She is very uncertain about things in her life at all times (goes back and forth). We did talk about how our communication was not the best towards the end (especially not talking about why we hadn't had sex). But, i just felt that relationships have ebs and flows and this was a little rut.

[Cardinal]

She seems equivocable and indecisive for sure.

 

Primarily though, she lacks commitment to you. I'd shudder to think what might happen if something truly serious came along. Poor communication very often makes a mountain out of a mole hill. You may indeed be able to link the breakup to a lot of little things that you didn't really communicate well about. Happens a lot. Has definitely happened to me.