success stories... ?

[confused41]

I know this is kind of specific, but does anyone have any success stories of getting back together with someone when either partner had someone else in the meantime during the breakup? And how did (do?) you deal with knowing someone else had your partner's body? Or is it even an issue? Or, if it was the other way around, did your partner take issue to you having someone else in the meantime? How did that affect you and the relationship?

 

Sorry, this isn't meant to sound like an interview, but I just want to know how normal/not normal things with my own relationship are.

[shadow34]

Hey Confused

 

I think if you decide to give the relationship another chance and you have both dated in between then you wouldnt discuss what happened.

 

As far as I am concerned the past is the past and if you are getting back together with someone then thats where it should stay.

 

All of the problems in the relationship before you broke up were just that, before. You break up, you move on even if they be with other people and then if its meant to be you get a second chance.

 

So my opinion would be, If the couple entering back into a relationship arent prepared to forgive and forget and move forward with a clean slate then they are not ready to be back together.

 

As for who the people dates etc, its really neither of ones business. Thats just life and life goes on even after break ups and even if you love someone.

 

So in my opinion, if you cant make a fresh start and being with someone during the break up is an issue, then perhaps your not ready to be with that person.

 

I would define no one as Normal, in fact I dont even believe in the word "normal" myself

[aymee_lee]

Hi confused41.

 

I agree with shadow34.

 

In my case I did get back together with a partner (together 4 years, apart 1.5, together again for 3 months). For us, who both had other partners during the break, the other partner thing wasn't really an issue, and this is probably because we BOTH had dated other people during our time apart. I'm not sure how I would feel if it was only one partner who had dated another during the break up.

 

In our case, the other partners didn't really have any impact on our relationship not working, it was more that he couldn't get over the fact that I had hurt him by ending our relationship 1.5 years earlier (in a nutshell). Interestingly enough, when he did eventually come to terms with it (8 months after our second break up) I had moved on and told him it was too late.

 

I think you have to approach it the way you would with any new partner. I don't really like to think about the fact that my current bf has had other partners and indeed, loved another person. But this makes him who he is, and regardless, it cannot be changed even if I wanted it to.

 

I realise I digressed from your original questions but thought that might be of interest to you anyway.

[heloladies21]

I see girls who go back to guys who've slept with someone else all the time and have successful relationships. But when a girl sleeps with another guy, the relationship works out 0% of the time.

[BONO]

I see girls who go back to guys who've slept with someone else all the time and have successful relationships. But when a girl sleeps with another guy, the relationship works out 0% of the time.

 

Interesting point.

 

Is that your own opinion or actual fact ?

 

Scruff

[heloladies21]

I don't apply my own feelings to any of the advice I give. It's all based on what I've seen.

[jordan1234]

and that is comepletely negating the posibility that the woman will have sex with someone and realize that it was WAY less meaningful than with their ex....