Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 It sounds like you got a bit caught up in being in love with love and wanting to believe he is the one but you forgot to take the time to get to know him, over time -- which is obvious since you feel the need to read his private conversations on his computer. He probably feels like you don't really know him, you just are in love with the idea of finding "the one." Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I know, I feel bad but I DO know him. I do love him for him. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I doubt that - you snooped on his private conversations and you were shocked at what you read. In any event, it takes at least 6 to 9 months of consistent dating to know if a relationship has a strong foundation. Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 Don't tell me I don't love him cause I do. I wouldn't be this upset if I didn't. and no, it doesn't take 6-9 months, there's no time frame. He said when he first met me, he knew I was the one. Link to comment
addictedblue Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 ask him if anything you do bothers him. see what he says. if you haven't already figured it out, you won't, so there's no other way to find out than to ask. and his friend obviously lied so theres no point in asking her. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Don't tell me I don't love him cause I do. I wouldn't be this upset if I didn't. and no, it doesn't take 6-9 months, there's no time frame. He said when he first met me, he knew I was the one. I was with my ex for 2 years and I thought he was "the one". I HATE to break it to ya, but "the one" doesnt make you feel how you are feeling. "the one" would tell you if he needed a break or was feeling conflicted. EDIT: Im not saying you dont love him, btw Ask him, just say "I know somthing has been bothering you, if it has anything to do with me or "us" I would appreciate it if you told me. As long as you are honest, I wont get mad" Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Don't tell me I don't love him cause I do. I wouldn't be this upset if I didn't. and no, it doesn't take 6-9 months, there's no time frame. He said when he first met me, he knew I was the one. Thanks for your response. I am not doubting that you love him, I am doubting that you have enough of a foundation for a relationship to know whether you two will be compatible for the long term. The fact that you are already snooping into his private conversations casts some doubt on long term prospects. Many people have feelings of love and "the one' very early on - doesn't mean they are based on reality - there is a time frame in general - with exceptions - of the time it typically takes to know whether a relationship has long term prospects - love is not enough and feeling that someone is "the one" is not enough, particularly when that is based on knowing someone for a shorter time than you've owned a pair of socks. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 particularly when that is based on knowing someone for a shorter time than you've owned a pair of socks. BAHHHHHHH HA HA Gold!! Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I just wanna know why he was acting fine last night?? Do you think he changed his mind and realized everything is okay? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 hard to tell - but here's an idea - why not talk to him and ask him - Link to comment
melrich Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I just wanna know why he was acting fine last night?? Do you think he changed his mind and realized everything is okay? I think that may be what he expressed to his friend in their conversation had some foundation but was probably exaggerated as people are prone to do when they are complaining about something. I wouldn't be taking it too much to heart but when you guys are having a moment where you are talking about your relationship you may want to raise some of the issues he talked about without telling him your "source". Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I just wanna know why he was acting fine last night?? Do you think he changed his mind and realized everything is okay? I think its probably to do with what he said to his friend... "i like her when shes here, but when shes not I want to be single" Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 Yeah. I kinda tried to hint around it, but I just told him I'm glad he's not stressed anymore and that I'm sorry if I can be annoying, I don't mean to. I'm gonna try to change(not all of myself), but I'm gonna act like I'm more grown up and actually try harder to go to college. I'm just saving up money right now and working. I told him that! I wanna see how he reacts. Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I think its probably to do with what he said to his friend... "i like her when shes here, but when shes not I want to be single" Yeah, but why would he wanna see me if he wants to be alone and single? if he thinks I'm a physco, why would he wanna be near me? Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Yeah, but why would he wanna see me if he wants to be alone and single? if he thinks I'm a physco, why would he wanna be near me? He likes the companionship? Hes scared of being single? Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 He says he loves me, if he didn't want to be with me, I think he would have told me or not asked to see me last night. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 He says he loves me, if he didn't want to be with me, I think he would have told me or not asked to see me last night. I dont think that is the case at all. He might love YOU but not be into a relationship he might (and this is common) really like you as a person, and find you sexually attractive... which isnt the same as being meant for eachother romantically He might be sick of being tied down, but still want all the perks of a gf He might just not know what he wants Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Watch the feet not the lips - what he does, not what he says. Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I'm a failure then.. he talked about the future though, like doing different stuff.. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 How could you possibly be a failure based on what a relatively new man in your life feels about being in a relationship with you? Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I'm a failure then.. he talked about the future though, like doing different stuff.. everyone WANTS to fall in love and be happy forever... it doesnt often work out that way. Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I thought I was a good girlfriend...I guess not. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 I thought I was a good girlfriend...I guess not. Gah, dont be like that. Just beacase two people dont mesh, it doesnt mean either of them are "bad" partners. Are you going to spend your ENTIRE life validating yourself against the "success" or "failure" of your dating life? Link to comment
MM58904 Posted March 1, 2007 Author Share Posted March 1, 2007 I'm still trying to be positive. I'm not gonna be "annoying" like he said I was, I'm gonna change and see what happens. I will prove to him that I am fine. Link to comment
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