bad sex, good reason for break-up?

[HerTragedy]

me and this guy have been dating for a few months now, and at first i simply adored him. i still do very much enjoy him, until we get intimate. his *ahem* item, is definetly not what i expected, but i wasn't gonna let that effect us, it was a minor thing i could overlook. but even worse, he looses his erection much too often. like over half the time! i asked him if it was me, if i just didnt turn him on, but he said it's just a problem he's always had. i guess what im getting at, is bad sex (or lack therof) a terribly awful reason to stop seeing somebody? i still like him, but i need intimacy in my potential relationships. and if it is a reason, how do i let him down?

[bzborow1]

Well if you feel this is a problem you simply cannot get over, or cannot get used to, then I certainly don't think it's a terrible way to break up with a guy...after all, you are on this website trying to find answers, so you're not totally superficial! If you break up with him, however, I would not under any circumstances say ANYTHING about his sexual performance as a reason...or "not being sexually compatible"...what for? That'd just hurt him and make you feel worse for hurting him that much more.

 

Well that's my two cents.

 

Bill

[inlovewithanna]

i see those advisement for penis enlargement. they're like 40 bucks a bottle. buy them!! then tell him GENTLY to take them and maybe it will help get turn on. or maybe he could be gay, i dont know.

[JadeMonkey]

could also ask him to see a doctor.

 

it could even be too much stress, so i don't know if asking him to take pills would help. would help the size maybe but might not cure the root of the problem with the erectile problem.

 

all i know is having a GF ask me to take pills because im too small would be terrifying and stressful.

[rickothesicko]

"It's not the size of the racket it's the way you swing it to be the most effective"

[ELEONORA]

In every relationship sometimes we tend to forget about ourselves and start caring of the other person, by accepting lots of things for the sake of that person being with you. In this case what i personally think you should do is to think ABOUT YOURSELF first. If you are happy to stay that way with him then just do so, but i can assure you that soner or later you gonna have enough with that and then this relationship can be finished in a bad note. So, the best thing in this situation is to slowely step from the realationship ground to the friendship ground. The sooner you will do that the less you will hurt yourself or that guy.

Also what i think is that guy could have such a problem cause of being shy of himself(his size) and him, by thinking about it during the sex, might cause that problem. Think again..if you really think that you are in love with that guy and willing to to anything for this relationship to work, then what you can do is to help him to gain his confidence back, talk about it with him, or start making lots of compliments about how good he is and how BIG he is, and never know then he might stop having that peoblem.

But also again, think of yourself, r u ready for that, r u willing to help, do u really wanna be with him, and then you will know the best decison.

Thanks

 

P.S. Its my personal opinion, no offence to anyone '

[Gilgamesh]

I would recommend talking to him about it, yes it might hurt his ego, and he may feel uncomfortable talking about it, but you could be doing both of you a favor.

 

He could have a circulation problem, low testosterone levels, who knows, if he feels this is a serious issue, he should get checked up.

 

I dont think its wrong to not be with someone that doesnt complete everything you want in a relationship, sex may not be the only thing, but it is one of the important things. And you shouldnt live your life with feelings of frustration. on the other hand, you should at least try everything you can to fix this problem, if it doesnt work out, well at least you wont go away feeling that you didnt give it your best try.

 

If he has a medical condition, well, most of those have remedies, and you might end up with everything you asked for and more!

[Turboz]

Firstly Mods and all parents, children, easily offended etc ignore (and Mods please don't delete) the rest of this post as it's going to get rather sexually explicit in places..

 

I certainly think you should talk about this to your man. I would not however break up with him over it (IF you do then find another reason for the breakup and be prepared to feel like sh*t for a few days after doing it to him).

 

Most men (including myself) have no problem getting a "Mr Stimpy" at the required time aswell as at those awckward times. The fact that your man doesn't could be anything.

 

Stress: Don't laugh. A man that is suffering from stress is a serious issue. Perhaps work is getting him down. Perhaps he's not getting enough sleep (this seriously affects "Stimpy's"). It could even be that he's scared of not performing properly for you.

 

Medical problem: This doesn't mean he's got bad blood circulation but it could be down to any number of other things. He could be as fit as a fiddle and have the healthiest heart alive but that doesn't mean a thing.

 

YOU: Ever wondered if you make him feel insecure?. Ever told him about those times when you had the most incredible sex ever with ANOTHER GUY? - 3 guesses as to how this could affect him and his sexual ego.

 

CURES? - Read on:

Firstly Mods and all parents, children, easily offended etc ignore (and Mods please don't delete) the rest of this post as it's going to get rather sexually explicit in places..

 

Medical problem:

Drag him off to the Doc's and tell him you want you can't wait to explode with orgasmic pleasure with him at the controls. If he refuses to see a Doc ask why and tell him if the relationship is going to survive you expect him to be honest with you about it. If this still doesn't get him to the Doc's tell him that if he isn't prepared to make some sacrifices for you and swallow his pride for the sake of your relationship then he shouldn't expect it to continue with lack or respect towards you.

 

YOU:

Ok, so you may of put your foot in it and bragged about other mens performance, or perhaps you just ooze so much confidence he's terrified that he's not going to do things for you (you'd be surprised how this can make a man loose a "Stimpy"! - Don't knock it!). Either way he's going to need a lot of reassurance from you and confidence building. Of course in order to build that your going to have to be as keen as ever to help him excercise his equipment and get it going properly. Think of it as an engine that hasn't been started for a few years - Get it going and leave it running for a good few hours and it will break itself in again and be fine. Treat your man like this. Give him as many hand jobs as possible and PULL IT BACK AS FAR AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE IT RAGING HARD!!!. I would prescribe this treatment at least 4 times a day for best results. I'd also say as soon as the 1st is over, give him 10 mins and work on it again (thats the best time for a resurrection!). For the ultimate confidence booster I'd recommend swallowing it - Nothing can make a man feel better about himself than to have a woman willingly swallow his load WITHOUT BEING ASKED - It's also a hell of a turn on.

 

Stress:

Ok, this requires a lot of changes to your lifestyles. Change working patterns, change the times you see eachother etc.

1) Allow more time to see eachother. If you see eachother for 2 hours daily and expect to feel comfortable with eachother and then have sex all within 2 hours you will have a problem. Some men can jump in bed instantly, whilst others need 3 or 4 hours to completely unwind and relax to the point where they get a raging "Stimpy". You may also need to consider the slow build up that you women are rumoured to prefer. EG dinner, tons of kissing, massaging etc. This ain't gonna be a quick thing so be prepared to spend more time together!!!

 

2) What is his work life like? - Hectic? - Help him find another job. Any vacancies where you work?. I know what it's like to have work seriously stress you out. I was off work for 3 months with Stress. As soon as I went back I was signed off again within 4 weeks with depression which was also initiated by the workplace. This is a serious problem to men as we simply cannot cope with stress aswell as women can. Many men will simply commit suicide rather than admit that they cannot cope with the stress of every day life because they feel like a wimp if they admit that they cannot cope. Help him through this do not turn your back on it and refuse to listen.

 

3) What are things like with his family? - Problems? - Does he even have family?. Perhaps he wants to start one but feels that you don't. believe it or not men can also have that biological clock which ticks away at a rapid rate. Some men panic when they realise time is flying by and they've still not found anyone who wants to settle with them and start the family thing. If this is whats affecting him then he's panicking and it will seriously affect him as he's unsureof his future with you. TALK TO HIM!!!

 

4) Does he have another partner? - Or an Ex?

If he's got any Ex he could be having problems with her - especially if there's a divorce involved and sorting out who gets to keep what etc. Perhaps he has a child with her?

Of course he could just be cheating - Has his performance got worse since you met or has it always been bad? - If it's got worse then he's simply not got the energy after he's just shafted someone else. If he's always been like it then don't worry..

 

5) Surroundings:

Now it's supposed to be women who's sexual moods are affected by their surroundings but it's becoming more well known that men also like relaxing surroundings too. Perhaps a weekend away will sort this? - READ ON:

Go away and concentrate on nothing but sex. Hard, fast, slow, soft etc. Plenty of handwork from you and more importantly LOTS OF BLOWJOBS. As I said earlier, if your going to suck it (or use your hand) then SWALLOW IT - EVERY LAST DROP!!!. Also remember that it's the tip of the penis that is the most sensitive area so this is where you should concentrate if your going to suck. Be sure to vary the speed and pressure you give him though - When you feel he's about to shoot his load go at it as hard and fast as you possibly can, and (for the final time) swallow!!! - You might be surprised how good that makes him feel about himself (aswell as how less stressed he becomes!).

And if none of the above works he should be in a science lab having experiments conducted on him at NASA or something!

 

Good luck!

Turboz