Hard to move-on when I still own house with ex!

[mustbefate]

Hey All,

 

I'm starting to get fed-up with my ex. We've been broken-up for about 1.5 months now.

 

Problem is that we still own a house together. And, I'm the only one who's been doing any work on it to get it ready to list. You read that right, this house is still not on the market!

 

To make matters worse, she's obviously in no hurry to sell this house. We've already made two dates to list the house, and they've come and gone.

 

Now, keep in mind, that she was the one who intiated the break-up. To make matters worse, I'll be at the house getting it ready to list, and she'll be out with some other guy. I'm like, why don't we get this house ready and on the market, then you can have playtime. This is plainly immature and disrespectful.

 

Moreover, I told her that I'd rather her not to even be around. That I'd rather work on the house alone then having to deal with her. And she's all like, its my house too, and she won't leave when I ask her to.

 

I was hoping that we could have at least some sense of honor and respect after the break-up. But, I'm amazed with how she's been behaving. I'm trying my best to make the most of the situation and move-on with my life. But, to be frank, I'm starting to feel burnt-out with this whole house situation... honestly! And, it doesn't help knowing that she has no plans for when we sell this house (where she's moving to).

 

Everything else in my life has taken a turn for the better. And I'm getting to the point where I start to at least meet new people. Let's just say that... oh, and by the way, I still own a house with my ex... is not exactly the best of ice breakers or pick-up lines.

 

How the hell do I get her butt in gear on this house?!

 

-Brian

[melrich]

How the hell do I get her butt in gear on this house?!

 

You probably can't. You may have to resign yourself to the fact that it is going to be up to you to do. If it requires major work, keep a log of your hours and charge her what is a fair hourly rate at settlement.

[mustbefate]

melrich,

 

I appreciate your response.

 

Up until recently, I've tried my best to be professional... and even to a point, friendly about the break-up and sale of house. But, the frustration is finally starting to get the best of me. And, as of a result, we've been having some really nasty fights as of late. I told her that I had no intention of fighting; but, she has driven me to this point.

 

And even after the fights, I try to regain composure and getting back to the task at hand. She makes it out that I should grow-up and move-on. However, she seems to think that if she has moved-out most of her stuff, that's enough to sell a house. But, in reality, there is much more involved than that... with the sale of any house, for that matter.

 

For example: up until now, I've been doing all of the interior painting. Well, now I'm getting tired of it, and had requested that we hire professional painters to finish the job. And, she's all like I'm not paying for anything unless I agree with the price quote. To a point, that's understandable; but, not very encouraging.

 

Moreover, she lacks any sort of motivation to start working with a realtor. I've been really pushing this since the start; but, she finally convinced me to list the house FSBO. Fair enough... but, I'm realizing that I'm the one doing all of the work and things are starting to get nasty. And, I'm to the point that I really don't want to be the one also stuck showing the house, too.

 

What would you suggest? I'd prefer using legal action as a last resort. I just want to get this house sold and not to get stuck in court. Granted, we weren't married... but, I've been talking to some divorcees... and I'm really starting to get nervous about what I've been hearing. Most cases, they took 1 to 1.5 years to fully break after the divorce. One horror story was 7 to 8 years before they finally got the house sold after the divorce!

 

-Brian

[melrich]

Yeah I certainly would be avoiding legal action at all cost. Again I think given you are the one who is most motivated to get this place sold I think you are going to have to suck it up and do most of the work/initiating.

 

It is going to pay you to keep her on side despite the fact that you feel you are doing everything simply because she can make it very difficult for you if she wants to. Re. the painting, get a couple of quotes and present them to her. When faced with something on paper surely she will be rational enough to agree the job has to be done.

 

I am not sure how realtors work there but here they do all the house inspections on your behalf. Maybe that could be arranged.

 

At the end of the day, no matter how unfair the situation sees to you it is going to be in your best interests that things do not get out of hand and you are forced to resort to legal action.