having trouble dealing with numerious thing to strengthen after breakup

[revitalized]

It's been 6 months or so since my ex and I broke up and I have been wanting to do some things to allow myself to move forward. One of the things I want to do is make a lot of new friends (because I realized that my current ones are real jerks who just come over to my house cuz they have nothin better to do) and I am doing ok in making new friends but everyone seems more of an aquaintence rather than a real friend..I want to have great friends that can be there for me and help me out when I'm down. Another thing I want to do is have my physiological (sexual) needs to be satisfied. I want to find a partner for that kind of thing but at the same time I feel iffy because I hope I won't regret it. I also kind of dont know where to look..Like I have never looked for someone for that specific purpose so I am puzzled as to how that would work.. So if anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated..

[isisastaria]

I wouldn't go with someone just for sexual needs. It isn't healthy. It's good to practice self control. Then you'll have more self control for other areas of your life. Sex isn't a problem solver. It's a problem maker in this instance. Think!!! Pregnancy, STDs, condoms break...etc...

[laboheme]

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about not having great friends yet. You're doing all you can -- meaning that you're putting yourself out there and meeting people. People don't become great friends who are always there for each other right away, everyone starts out as acquaintances. Look at which of your acquiantances you enjoy spending time with the most -- then dedicate a little more time to them. Treat them like you'd want them to treat you...Eventually you'll grow close enough to have that "great friend" connection. But it's something that takes time and patience.

 

As far the other issue, I think that if you feel iffy about finding a partner just for that purpose, you shouldn't do it. A lot of people regret encounters like that even if they didn't initially think they would, and if you're already having doubts, I think the chances of you regretting it are quite high. Of course it's not the same, but sexual needs can be satisfied alone until you find someone special...But if you really are bent on that, there are plenty of personal ads out there with people who are looking just for sexual experiences with no commitment. Even some online dating sites offer that as an option that you check when you register (as opposed to checking "Interested in friendship/short-term dating/long-term dating, etc.")

[revitalized]

yeah I think the friends thing is very manageable. I am just really looking into the sexual relationship because I think it's really a big interest and I think that if I have a need like that satisfied and at the same time atleast having some kind of a new memory (because my ex was my first gf ever) then I would feel better and be happy that I have that need. I just spent time thinking about it and I feel that I would be ok but I dont know how to find someone! the websites usually require payments lol it's just hard finding someone with that specific purpose (through the internet) and in person too actually.