I am upset

[cheerfuldaisy]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am upset my bf called me today and decide not to see me on Valentine's Day which is tomorrow. This will be our first year for Valentine's Day. The reason he gave me is because he heard on the news it will be cold and might have heavy snow tomorrow. Do you think this is a reasonable excuse to not see me? Do you think he might not love me thats why he wants to cancel the plan? Do you think if a guy loves a girl, no matter how bad the storm is he will desperately want to see her? Do you think he might not want to see me because he doesn't have anything for me?

 

I am very sad Also, he keeps saying he loves me. I don't really know if he loves me now?

 

What do you think about this guy?

[finewhine]

How long have you been dating? How far away does he live?

 

If I were in your shoes, I would call him every name in the book and break up with him over the phone. But that's just me.

 

Don't you deserve someone who does something nice for you on Valentine's Day?

[cheerfuldaisy]

I have been dating him for 5 months. He lives 30 mins from where I live. And one thing that really pisses me off is he later asked me to see him on Saturday but he will be going to his brother's appartment to take care of his pets while his brother is away on vacation for one day. He told me to drive up all the way to his brother's appartment to meet him there which is about 45 mins ride from my place. But he could have offer me a ride while he is on the way to his appartment. Isn't one car should be better than taking two cars uptown? What kind of guy you think he is?

[finewhine]

Well, from what you've told me, he doesn't sound like the best kind of guy. He sounds like a selfish jerk, if you want my opinion. Why isn't he considering your feelings or convenience?

 

So let me get this straight - his idea of hanging out with you is to make you drive 45 minutes to hang out at his brother's apartment to take care of HIS BROTHER'S pets? Please tell me you're not actually going to go through with this! Surely he knows you have better things to do than drive 45 minutes to look after someone else's brother's pets!

 

Have you tried talking to him about what a jerk he's being? Are you sticking up for yourself in this relationship?

 

Five months and it sounds like he is already too comfortable. Maybe you should shake him up by dumping him.

[finewhine]

OK, I can see from your other threads that you're already prepared to dump him. Let this be the last straw to get you to seal the deal.

[OneConfusedGuy]

If he's sticking you up left and right... you don't deserve that. If he doesn't want to see you tomorrow because it's COLD!???????????? That is ridicoulous!!!!!! (I could understand if either of you had to take a 30 minute walk to eachother's place, but if he has a car.... COME ON!) I hope when he said this to you over the phone you sounded (as I'm sure you actually were) hurt.... very hurt. And if he still doesnt respond to this...he doesn't deserve you.

[FrancisHouseman]

Im sorry but this doesnt sound good to be love.

 

My ex, (the pig that broke my heart!) used to say to me "Im so skint this month, I cant afford petrol, will you get the bus to mine.?" (I had to get TWO buses to visit him, took me best part of 1.5 hours to get there if the traffic was good!)

 

Then on Christmas Eve, he said he was staying him because he had told his parents he wouldnt drink and he would drive them around. I went out with my friends and made excuses as to why he wasnt spending Christmas eve with me... then CHristmas day he said he was spending it with his family and that since his parents split it was always a tough day... then boxing day he was visiting his aunty but he came round in the evening and had the nerve to say "I love you more than anything!"

 

Then New Years Eve he said he had never gone out with friends on New Years Eve because he had always had a girlfriend (incidentally not me, we had only been together for 10 months) so he went out with his mates and I went out with mine and I rang HIM at midnight to say "Happy New Year.." such a fool.. it was so obvious looking back.

 

It took him another month to pluck up the nerve to say to me "I dont love you.. "

 

I think the signs are all there honey. My current boyfriend walked for an hour in the rain to visit me, after his train got cancelled. It was the middle of December so cold and rainy and horrible and dark but he wanted to see me so bad he walked!

 

If a man loves you, he will make the effort.

 

Im sorry x

[lizziebee]

Sorry to burst the bubble here but I too am in the ice storm area and it is our first VDay too. Am I shattered by the fact that I have to work and cannot make the treacherous drive 2 hours away to see my man? OK not shattered but think of it this way, if your bf got into an accident on the way to bring you roses...how would you feel then? VD is just another day but with Hallmark trappings...make your Valentines plans for Friday night instead! You will have that romantic build up and also more time to really BE with your beloved.

[FrancisHouseman]

Sorry to burst the bubble here but I too am in the ice storm area and it is our first VDay too. Am I shattered by the fact that I have to work and cannot make the treacherous drive 2 hours away to see my man? OK not shattered but think of it this way, if your bf got into an accident on the way to bring you roses...how would you feel then? VD is just another day but with Hallmark trappings...make your Valentines plans for Friday night instead! You will have that romantic build up and also more time to really BE with your beloved.

 

I can see where you are coming from, but she said he lives a 30 minute drive... thats nothing!

[cheerfuldaisy]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

Finewhine: The idea of him asking me to drive 45 mins to his brother's appartment is to meet with him and have lunch nearby his brother's place. I just don't understand why he cannot pick me up on the way to his brother's place.

 

Oneconfusedguy: He does have a car but no winter tires. Oh yes you are right...I was very angry and upset that he doesn't seem to want to see me. I was really hurt.

 

I just don't find him a sweet and romantic guy. Somedays I would wonder maybe he asked me out because he just want me to accompany him. Maybe it is really not true love or that he doesn't really love me. Does anyone agree? Even he has never treat me to a decent meal. We always go for 'dutch'

 

Does anything agree that if you love someone you will treat them nice and respect them and care about them. I only find he cares about me but doesn't actually love me too deeply. Sometimes I find that he treats his family and coworkers a lot better than I am. He has lots of DVDS at home and none of them he lend me to watch. But he always burn and lend the DVDS to his coworkers and his family. Why is it that he treats them a lot better than me? This really dissappoints me.

 

He always say on the phone and in person that he loves me and wants to be with me. Does anyone thinks it is true words he says?

 

Also, usually if a guy loves the girl, does the guy tends to like to treat the girl out for lunch/dinner? I mean not everytime of course but maybe occasionally or sometimes?

 

But one thing about him is that right after he came back from a 5 hour trip during the weekend, he quickly wanted to see me and we met for dinner right away on Monday - 2 days before Valentine's Day. At that time he should have known the weather wouldn't be nice on Valentine's Day but we still did not celebrate Valentine's Day in advance. We went out as usual as if nothing has happened. We should have celebrate Valentine's Day in advance.

 

What do you guys think about him?