How to move on.....

[Sheeps]

Im married with three children. Im towards the end of an affair with a single woman colleague who we have both fallen deeply with each other. We have jointly decided to end it - but neither of us really want to. She wants more but doesnt want me to leave three kids (which I would never do); she feels enormous guilt (as do I) and we both know its unsustainable. The challenge is how to really move on - we're still texting - we're still very much in love and its still very very difficult. Any views/ insights appreciated.

[Beec]

I think you just have no contact. Only time and space will really allow you to move on. You need to remove yourself from each other's support, attention and appreciation, and time to live without that so you don't miss it as much. In sum, no contact or as little as possible.

[Sheeps]

Unforutnately I work with her we're in the same management team its tough isnt it - but thanks for swift response

[u5ername]

I am not nor have i ever been in your situation...but to end something when your still in love, I can relate to...I'm dealing with that right now. It's hard...the hardest thing I have ever tried to do!! I agree though it's either - go for the relationship...or no contact whatsoever. There can't be a middle ground...it doesn't work. it gives you a false sense of reality.

[Beec]

Well, then just no talking about anything ther than work. Force it back into a professional only situation. It's going to take will power.

[radioheader]

there is a website that was referenced here before:

 

link removed

 

this will tell your how to end y our affair or at least this man's opinion...i think it is a useful website...check it out and good luck!

[Rabican]

Unforutnately I work with her we're in the same management team its tough isnt it - but thanks for swift response

 

You have two choices. Find a new job, and go no contact. Then be the best husband/ father from today forward that you can possibly be. And never even speak to another woman. Ever.

 

Or, tell your wife its over. Do what you can to be a good dad from the outside. And then get together with the affair partner. just dont be surprised when that gets dull, and you cheat on each other.

 

Your wife deserves better than this bro. You are not even considering her in your original post. How do I handle the 'other woman, and me' is all you are considering. You see how selfish and shallow that really is? Your wife gave you 3 children, and pledged her life to you... and this is what she gets? Talk about getting shafted.