Controlling Anger?

[thyroxine]

"I'm angry all the time and I don't know why"

--Sandra Bullock's character in Crash

 

I've always had a bit of a problem controlling my anger, but since early last summer it's been pretty much out of wack. I've been in therapy, but they always brush it off as though it's nothing. It's something to me. My anger issuses caused a lot of complications with my last relationship, and I see those same patterns reoccurring with my current boyfriend. I've even have to avoid going to work some days, fearful I'll hurt one of the animals (I'm a vet tech) and there have been a few cases when I have hurt one of the poor babies.

 

I can go from being perfectly content to being completely outraged. Most of the time I'm angry towards nothing at all, but I'll tend to take it out on anything that's near. I do a lot of yoga and exercising, but it rarely seems to do anything to calm me down. I try and live healthy, but having all this rage doesn't help.

 

I don't know if all of this sounds stupid (my friends think it does) but I just want to find some way to deal with it. Does anyone else have this kind of problem and/or have any advice on how to deal with it?

[talo]

Most of the time I'm angry towards nothing at all

 

Anger is a feeling of great annoyance about something. In my experience you cannot be annoyed/angry about nothing.

 

What are the issues that you have identified that you get angry about?

[thyroxine]

I can't pinpoint many particulars. Sometimes I'll get anger at myself (mainly school and the way I look), or with my family, roommates, people in general, etc. Otherwise, I can be perfectly happy and then suddenly switch. I don't know how much sense that makes, but I'm not sure how to exactly explain it. I can be sitting with my friends, having a good time, then I'll just get pissed at them and will get up and leave. They just brush it off as me being weird...but I don't want them to have to do that.

[confused_lady]

I can understand some of your anger problem.

 

I have been quite similar, however I always find a reason to be angry. And this is really getting on to my relationship.

 

I get jelous very quickly and instead of dealing with my jelousy I get angry. When I get angry things get nasty... I start shouting, shaking, hitting things and throwing stuff around.

 

My bf has already said that I have to control my anger.... cos it drives him mad...

 

I just dont know how to do it.....

[talo]

Sometimes I'll get anger at myself (mainly school and the way I look), or with my family, roommates, people in general, etc. Otherwise, I can be perfectly happy and then suddenly switch.

 

Ok, so you may well have quite a bit of 'low level anger (or annoyance)' in your life. And this annoyance/anger 'spills out' at perhaps inappropriate times. The way to reduce this anger is to address what actually makes you angry, ie too much wanting (some) things to be different than they are.

[adahy]

Anger is not a bad thing....and what's not to be angry about these days???

 

Just turn on the news: murder, rape, war, kidnappings, theft, etc., etc....every single day. Further, I can't leave the house without getting pissed..people cutting me off in traffic, rude/selfish people on cell phones holding up line, polluted air and water...on and on...I could write pages.

 

Somebody needs to get ANGRY!

[talo]

My bf has already said that I have to control my anger.... cos it drives him mad...

 

I just dont know how to do it.....

 

It's not a matter of controlling it is it, but of seeing what causes it. Annoyance/anger is caused by wanting something to be different than it is. We can either change the something or change our way of thinking about the something.

[talo]

Somebody needs to get ANGRY!

 

Is there really a need for anger? The things you point out are the result of dissatisfaction, annoyance or anger with the way things were/are. Do you really think we will 'get past' dissatisfaction/annoyance/anger by more of the same?

[adahy]

Is there really a need for anger? The things you point out are the result of dissatisfaction, annoyance or anger with the way things were/are. Do you really think we will 'get past' dissatisfaction/annoyance/anger by more of the same?

 

Anger is as 'natural' as anything.

 

I don't think the source of the things I mentioned can be solely accredited to anger. The source usually lies deeper. Sure certain 'evils' are manifested via anger, but so are some good things.

 

I know we'd all like to be an enlightened Buddha, but humanity just isn't there yet.

[O_Draconian_Devil]

Have you ever considered that you're bipolar? it seems highly likely, i say you should check and see if that's the case. if it is, they can give you drugs to help you simmer down.

[Dako]

Having to apologize or repair damage gets embarrassing.

Some folks yell and punch walls, kick trashcans and cuss a lot.

What does it get them?

They just look dumb.

 

When I'm pissed, I breathe deeply, take a quick walk and distract myself.

[adahy]

Having to apologize or repair damage gets embarrassing.

Some folks yell and punch walls, kick trashcans and cuss a lot.

What does it get them?

They just look dumb.

 

When I'm pissed, I breathe deeply, take a quick walk and distract myself.

 

Although I think anger is natural, I totally agree. Don't let it consume you or manifest itself physically in a negative way. That is pretty weak and foolish. However, anger can be an effective tool, motivator, etc.

[thyroxine]

Have you ever considered that you're bipolar? it seems highly likely, i say you should check and see if that's the case. if it is, they can give you drugs to help you simmer down.

 

My therapist didn't seem too concerned by it. Both my mother and grandmother were bipolar, but he said it was highly unlikely I was. I try not to think about that being too much of a possibility. I don't want to have to be on medication for it and would like to try and control it by myself if that were the case....and if that was even possible.

[Dako]

I channel it into housecleaning, washing the car and gardening.

[thyroxine]

Also, to Talo: I think that there is a human need for anger. It's a balance. Showing anger does not mean you are weak or pathetic...it just means you're human.

[thyroxine]

I channel it into housecleaning, washing the car and gardening.

 

I do a lot of that as well! Probably why my house is always spotless and the dishes are always done.