When to ask the "relationship" question?

[sara_0562]

Hey everyone

Im new to this whole dating thing. It seems in my past relationships i have skipped this whole dating part and have jumped right into the relationship phase and thats how things progressed. Since my devasting breakup about 2 months ago i have since been ready to start dating again.

 

I started talking to this guy i knew from a few years ago and we talked for about two weeks and then decided to go on a date. I had asked him about his previous relationships because im very paranoid about ex gf since my ex bf cheated on me with his ex gf. Long story but it left be very scared and untrustworthy of the opposite sex. SO when i asked him abotu his ex gf he said she had moved a few provences over and he was really into her but thats why it ended. I was still a little concerned so i started looking a little deeper. I then came accross his myspace account and noticed that very recently his ex gf had left him comments say "love you babe, have fun at work" and "i love you and misss you." I asked about these comments and he says he doesn't love her anymore but she still loves him. I then looked deeper and this girl left comments some of her other friends pages saying that he was going to try and get a job closer to her and move to the provence shes in.

 

SO at this point i dont know whats going on. We have only had two dates so far and i dont know when the best time is to bring this all up again. I dont want to seem to "girly." should i jsut forget about this guy, or is it me that has the problem with not trusting him??

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Sara - I'm sorry to relay this opinion, but I have a feeling he's not as commited to moving on as he may seem to think or want YOU to think....

 

I say tell him you're going to give him the space and time to figure out where he's going ...and then see what happens from there....

[Kalika]

I dont think he's being completely honest with you. There would be no reason for his ex to lie to those other people. And it's fairly obvious that they're still communicating pretty frequently. I think you should talk to him. Don't even bother asking him anything, just say that you're not sure things are settled between him and his ex and that's all you need to know.

[sara_0562]

Ya i definitly do want to talk to him about it again. But i did aleady ask him and he said that she still loves him but he doesn't love her BUT they are still really close.

 

My only concern is WHEN to ask him about it? I feel like its to early to even expect anything or is it? I feel like ifiask him agian hes going to get mad and think i dont trust him... which i guess idont at this point.

 

Also he live a hour away. WHy would he drive an hour twice to see me if he didn;t want anything more then a good time with me? We have also discussed a thrid date this weekend...

[sara_0562]

should i just back off and play hard to get???

[Bankers24]

Dump his butt!! He is not being honest with you - he is lying to you! My guess is that he is still "with" his girlfriend and since you are an hour away it is easy for him to have his cake and eat it too because there is no chance that you will just bump into him in public when he is with his gf or that she will bump into you guys when you are out on a date. WATCH OUT!! He is what many people call a "player". He doesn't deserve you!

[sara_0562]

Yes i think ur right.... but his profile does say hes single.... does that mean anything???

[Aurian]

He can fib on his profile too, hey?

[g1234567890h]

You know, I really don't trust internet profiles or whatever people post thing about their personal life. I have two myspace profiles, one band and one personal, and I say all sorts of things that aren't true. I say I'm a hundred years old, married but looking, have kids, and going to Stanford for my post doctoral. None of that may be serious at all. And I really don't think that going on two dates means you're in a relationship. My girlfriend and I had the commitment conversation after we started having sex, or six dates.