Weird Shyness..or something

[4l0n3]

As I am new on this forum I'd like to salute you all and thank you for providing useful information for those in need..

 

Now, my problem with shyness is somewhat weird. At the beginning, when I was younger [

 

Somehow, I have moved on to a "mutated" form of shyness or something.. I am 19 years now and have no problem with talking to strangers, but I find absolutely no pleasure in it. Small talk bores the hell out of me and I certainly hate small talk topics. Whenever I try to talk about something else(something that makes your mind ponder on a certain aspect) I see that the other person gets bored or annoyed(for instance if I get in the God/no God business). A girl almost walked out on me for saying that, probably, if a mother didn't have maternal instincs, caused by hormones, she wouldn't love her children. Anyway, I probably destroyed her pink world by saying that..and I'm sure all her friends know now what a "creature" I am.

 

I get no excitement out of going out with friends and talking about how fun it was to watch someone slip on the stairs or how stupid their teachers are because they know math and don't have sex 4 times a day..

 

Another thing about my problem with girls.. I have no confidence in my appearance although I look ok and girls often wanted to go out with me.

 

That wouldn't be such of a problem but I also have a great eggo. So, it's not just the average fear of ending up not being liked. It's more of a "I know I`m ok, it's your fault that you don't like me, but now you'll tell everyone what a bad person I am even though you should like me" or "you can't understand me, but instead of accepting that you just say I'm a freak".

 

I know that most women are not like the above mentioned, but I simply don't want to take the chance.. I just hate the idea of girls talking about me behind my back... So I end up not talking to them and regreting it later.

 

This is why when found in ackward situations I tend to blush and get that "I can't get out of this" feeling.. Especially when doing something weird or having to answer an idiotic question and knowing that my answer is different from what she expects..

 

The problem is that I like talking to girls, but I hate not knowing if they are the above`mentioned type or my type..

 

I don't want to seem cocky and surely am not, but the ideea that she might get that "you're a freak because you aren't into drinking till you throw up" reaction annoys me(doesn't scare me).

 

If I knew that the girl I ask out will shut up and not tell all her friends "this cute guy asked me out and I turned him down.. Haha, I am so hot" I would be perfectly fine with asking them out and getting to know them better.

 

As I said above, I really dont think of myself of being extremely good looking and so on, but I don't wanna be the subject of someone`s amusement either.

 

However, I have reminescent tendencies from my "normal" shyness life. I have to travel by train a lot. And sometimes I end up in the same "compartment" with a nice girl. But then I find nothing to say to her.. And I can't look at her because I get the impression that she thinks "another loser that wants me" etc.

 

So, my question is, is this some kind of reminescent shyness + some strange fear system, or I just don't fit in or what?

[Jetta]

Well I tend to be shy myself and it really doesn't help to be that way at all. I know for me it comes from feeling judged, the need to say the right thing always, etc. So realize no one really cares about anyone other than themselves and everyone loves to talk about themself.

 

Ask questions and listen. You don't have to find things to say then. I know I'm listening more and boy to people really open up.

[Altruist]

...Somehow, I have moved on to a "mutated" form of shyness or something.. I am 19 years now and have no problem with talking to strangers, but I find absolutely no pleasure in it. Small talk bores the hell out of me and I certainly hate small talk topics...

 

Obviously you are not shy but the problem, I suspect is that you spend too much time alone. The more you do that, the more you tend to lose interest in talking to others. Try to get out more and do activities where you just have to talk. That will help you a great deal. From the way you wrote so loquently, I can tell that you would have no problem in expressing yourself.

[Iwantittoend]

I'm the exact same way man and I don't know how to change it.

[4l0n3]

I don't think there is a way out.. And it seems no one can help. I think it were better if we were shy.. We'd have some answeres. :sad: