CLosure?

[InsertNameHere]

So I had a talk with my ex-gf last night who broke up with me a week ago. She basically told me that she is afraid to be with me cause she thinks she will hurt me again. She said she feels like all she did was hurt me, and that she is not ready for that again. Is it best for me to give her space? Is it the end? I am really not ready to give up

[never-too-late]

Hm, it sounds like she has feelings for you but not strong enough to stay in a relationship with you. thereforeeee, she is afraid that she may hurt you again. What I would do, if I were you, I would be less available, I would not contact her, I would not show her how much you suffer. Try to go out with your friends, play sports and show her you are strong!!

 

Women love strong men. We are afraid to be with "good" guys as we are afraid of hurting them. So if she is the one, who broke it off, let her win you back. Don't make any efforts. Play it cool.. you will become more attractive to her... and you never know. It's the hardest thing to do to but you need to become stronger!

[never-too-late]

and maybe flirt with another girl.. or make her wonder what are you up to when she calls.. if she asks, just say.. oh I went out with a friend..make the conversation as mysterious as possible..

 

Us girls, we are very jelous..

[InsertNameHere]

Hm, so I've been goin about this the wrong way then. But yeah, what you're saying makes a lot of sense. Its just so hard to do NC when your used to talking and seeing each other many times a day for almost 2 years

[i2oadi2unnei2]

So I had a talk with my ex-gf last night who broke up with me a week ago. She basically told me that she is afraid to be with me cause she thinks she will hurt me again. She said she feels like all she did was hurt me, and that she is not ready for that again.

 

If she truly said that, then it seems she's not into you as much as before and you need to accept it, grieve, then move on. It sounds she may come around again and reconcile, then break up again, can you take it the 2nd time around? 3rd time around? Breakup cycles isn't that fun, believe me.

 

Is it best for me to give her space?

 

Yes, give her ALL the space she wants, give yourself some space too so you can break away from the clingyness, dependent, .etc. By going NC for awhile, you can regroup your feelings & heal, then start casual dating others w/o going into a deep relationship and avoid any rebounds if all possible.

 

Is it the end? I am really not ready to give up

 

It's not the end, the relationship you created with another never truly ends, it just changed, that's all. Right now you need to heal and by going NC, it sounds like the end, but its not. Life is full of surprises, you both may reconcile down the road. Until then, work on yourself, be happy for yourself, have time for yourself, relearn to love yourself once again.

 

You will survive this as we all did, keep that chin up and go out and have some fun dammit! :splat:

[neallo82288]

link removed

 

 

read that thread and tells you how to deal with whqt you are dealing with.

that one post saved me alot of pain

[heloladies21]

She said she feels like all she did was hurt me, and that she is not ready for that again.

BS excuse, she's just not interested in you anymore and wants to deflect it so as not to be so harsh to you. Ever hear of the one "it's not you it's me"? Same thing.

 

NC to get back in control of your emotions. Then you can get in touch to clarify things, and if she's not on board at that point, then you move on.