Missing the physical contact..

[mjones.uk]

My G/F of 8 years left me 2 days before Xmas. i had no idea anything was wrong, and right up until the last day she would say she loved me, we went out and did Xmas shopping together, she spent lots of money on my presents. When she did it, it absolutly broke my heart.

 

She is such a gorgeous, sweet, caring, lovely girl and I love her with all my heart.

 

I'm finding it so difficult, not just with the fact that she just 'doesnt have the same feelings anymore' (jeez thats a killer), but I just so miss the physical contact. You know, holding hands, lying in each others arms, that comforting hug, that lovely evening cuddle in front of the tv, that soft, gentle kiss...to know I'm never going to experience any of that with her again is just impossible to take in.

 

I dont know, it is so bad, and worse to know that it is going to be so long before I get these things again, and it will probably be with someone else....

[-touch-of-heaven-]

I don't know much about this but I think that maybe you should try to find out what her reasons were for saying that she doesn't love you anymore. It sounds to me she's nervous about something. Perhaps she's doubting herself, and thought it would be unfair towards you to keep leading you on, perhaps she's really fallen out of love, in which case it is odd for me to think she would say she loves you until the day before you two broke up. Try and find out why, then think over those reasons and see if you think you could offer a way to her, to right those things. Tell her that eight years is not worth just tossing away (in my opinion, you might think about why you two aren't married yet, if you were together for such a long time, perhaps that has something to do with it).

 

Also be prepared to face what it means if you cannot change what has happened. That will take the all the courage and honor that resides inside you.

 

I know exactly what you mean when you say you miss that physical contact. To be truthful when I saw the title of your post I was afraid I was going to read a 'I miss sleeping with her because now I have no regular sexual partner' post, but having read your words, I identify completely with you. I too, miss holding my ex-girlfriend's hand, walking side by side, holding her. Hell I must admit, one time I kissed and hugged her after seeing some guy who seemed lonely to me, just to remind myself that I have her, and am afraid to be that guy. Now I am that guy. There is nothing we can do about those feelings. You could go out and meet other girls and share with them intimate contact (and no I'm not talking about just sex, but holding hands, kissing, hugging, those are much more important), but if you're like me - would you really want to? If you are like me, you dread the thought of being forced to move on, the thought that you will fall in love with someone else, as much as you dread her falling into love with someone else as well.

 

It seems to me you still have a chance. I don't want to pep you up too much and then to have your heart break over my bad advice - remember I only have what you've told us to go by, but that's my opinion. I wish you the best, I really do, so good luck, and may you feel better, and get her back.

 

^-touch-of-heaven-^

[ooshiegirl]

I'm in a similar situation. While my relationship was only 8 months long, we were still very close, and I miss the idea of being able to hug my ex and lie next to him and night, just feeling his arms wrapped around me. And, like you, he told me he loved me up until the night he broke up with me, although he stated later that he had fallen out of love with me after a big fight we'd had a few weeks ago. I feel your confusion and your pain.

[bungalo]

You do realize the OP posted this eight years ago right? Still applies I'm sure, but he could be otherwise engaged by now////

[FootofGod]

lol how does one even find an 8 year old thread?

[ooshiegirl]

Hahaha, no idea- didn't even look at the date- but it kept me occupied for a bit. I mean, I could just start talking to people who aren't there... I mean... yeah.