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Why do I feel in Doubt with my Girlfriend?

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Ok, So I posted something on Yahoo Answers to help me but my answer couldn't be long enough to explain myself more. So I found eNotAlone and I'm here to further explain myself for some help. First of all I'm going to paste the answers I've gotten so far and respond to them explaining what they didn't understand about me.


Answer 1



Responding to this Answer

Yeah I know it's the whole point. I will consider getting involved what she does more, I do that but I guess not "full time"? I'm really into what she does, we have ALOT in common. It's just that I've never hung out with her friends maybe that's the problem, It would help to hang out with her and her friends and to gain Trust with them. I do talk to her about this, and we both know that I doubt. She doesn't understand and neither do I, I feel sorry about it but every time I say sorry she says I shouldn't be sorry for it. I seem to say sorry alot to her for almost no reason I've noticed.



Answer 2



Responding to this Answer

I do talk to my girlfriend "more". We are so open with each other It's insane. There are things I say without even thinking about it, this also causes her to get mad sometimes since I say some pretty stupid things, not random or funny things that are embarrassing, more like giving her a very hurried and rushed answer to something serious and it hurts her feelings. Me and her are Nerds, we know each other very much, She'd never cheat on me and I would never cheat on her. I'm her first Love and she's my second, before me she has never had any interest in boys in general. She's a tomboy and we happened to fall in love with each other. I am so happy when we spend time with each other I forget ALL about this and my inner problems. I feel like this when we talk on the phone, the phone tears us apart and it gets frustrating. We live very far away from each other. We used to be with each other each and everyday until her mom moved away and I moved to a different city as well, when she's 18 she's coming to my city and were moving in together. Wow, that was very spot on about how I'm afraid of rejection and I'm insecure, yes that's very true and me and her both know that. I've never thought I was self centered but I have thought about the controlling part, I guess I need to focus on inner healing with the Self Centered part. Other than that I'm trying to fix being Controlling, I'm not so controlling in the first place, I'm very believing in what she does I smile and let her go play with he friends but really behind my smile is a boy feeling a little Doubtful. Sometimes understanding.



Answer 3



Responding to this Answer

Hell yeah I'm in love and It's the best! (That's me being positive about this, It helps...). I'm not EXACTLY the jealous type. Yes I love her and that's all that matters. Yeah I do care for her EVERYDAY, that's one thing that REALLY bugs me. I show how much I care in ever way possible, I over do it when it comes to this but she loves it. It's just sometimes you know how you should love and not expect anything in return? Well sometimes I do, thinking about It, she rarely does anything to show love sometimes, she will buy me food and things every now and then and I LOVE that! She thought I looked at that as Materialistic but I guess in a way that's just the way I like it, I accept that and It's fine by me. I guess she thought I was blaming her for being Materialistic about showing "love" I guess but no. Meh...I'm fine with showing her I care as much as possible. It's just sometimes I think It's ok to expect something.




I hope this helped, that was really long.


Anyways, respond if you can, sorry about length. I have alot more to say but I've said so much that I've forgotten what else to say.


- Sterl

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A bit of jealousy in a relationship is normal, even healthy. If the jealousy is intense and/or irrational it is usually more about the person feeling it than the object of the jealousy. It probably comes down to issues with your self-esteem and feelins of worth and I feel that is where you should concentrtae your efforts.

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Possesiveness is fatal to a relationship even in a mild form,but don't be hard on yourself about it. I suspect somewhere in the past someone you truly depended on deserted you or let you down,a parent? or somebody? and so maybe you're extra wary of it happening again and act accordingly?


My ex boyfriend acted the same way,much later I realised it was probably because his mother left him as a child.

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