Asked a guy out

[TiredMan]

Of those women who approached you - how many asked you out on a real date, what was the longest relationship that came out of it, and why did it end. And, in how many cases did the woman continue to do most of the asking, calling, initiating and planning after approaching you that first time?

 

Wow there are like 20 questions out of those 2 sentences.

 

I would say a few asked on date. Some kissed me. Some told me straight out they wanted to be with me. The mutual one where she told me she was very interested in me lasted umm 2 years? Broke up because I moved away and it got too tough.

 

After a relationship starts, everything comes from both sides. if I have to do all the stuff, I would just leave.

[Batya33]

Wow there are like 20 questions out of those 2 sentences.

 

I would say a few asked on date. Some kissed me. Some told me straight out they wanted to be with me. The mutual one where she told me she was very interested in me lasted umm 2 years? Broke up because I moved away and it got too tough.

 

After a relationship starts, everything comes from both sides. if I have to do all the stuff, I would just leave.

 

OK - I understand it better now - not surprising that only a few asked you out on an official date and that none of the women who approached you turned into a long term relationship.

 

I never said that either of the two people should do "all" - typically in the beginning the man does "most" of the initiating, planning and calling. Of course far more goes into dating than those activities so it is far from 'all."

[TiredMan]

OK - I understand it better now - not surprising that only a few asked you out on an official date and that none of the women who approached you turned into a long term relationship.

 

I never said that either of the two people should do "all" - typically in the beginning the man does "most" of the initiating, planning and calling. Of course far more goes into dating than those activities so it is far from 'all."

 

Well if they didn't ask, that is their loss for not telling me they were interested. Waiting for me is not the way to go.

 

Yeah I agree typically men do it but that needs to evolve to this century.

[Batya33]

I think there are many ways a woman can show interest without asking a man out on a date - as you said yourself. There is a huge gray area between passively waiting around and asking a man out on a date. I for one have always done very well being warm, approachable and friendly and letting the man do the asking since the men I date are the traditional types and are more comfortable with the traditional role. I would have no problem asking out men (have done so) if it were an effective way to find a serious long term relationship leading to marriage.

 

Things may need to evolve but I believe in giving advice based on what is true now unless the woman is willing to risk making traditional men uncomfortable by being the main pursuer or is willing to look for only those men who are the type who want a serious relationship where the woman does most of the initiating planning and calling in the beginning. Never met a man like that but I am sure they exist, somewhere. Of course if the woman just wants a few dates, or to hook up or a fling it doesn't much matter who makes the first move, second move, etc.

[TiredMan]

All depends on the person though. That is where I base advice from.

 

But dropping your number that way can lead to so many situations like not knowing if he's taken, whether he lost the number, couldn't read it, or many other things. She doesn't know and is left to wonder.

[Altruist]

Busy restaurant, busy man. You give him a piece of paper. Probably misplaces it before he's even read it. Ask him if he actually rea the note. Chances are high that he didn't. Most guys would not intentionally reject a woman without giving her at least a chance.

[Altruist]

...or maybe he fancies one of his co-workers? Just a thought.

[Altruist]

In that case he wouldn't want to be seen with you as that would 'ruin his chances' with her.

[amgine]

Again thank you guys. Yeah he could be dating, he may fancy one of his co workers. Or i should say employees as he's a manager.

He could have lost who knows.

 

I'll be going in there tomorrow night so if he's there i'll have some idea on the situation

[TiredMan]

Again thank you guys. Yeah he could be dating, he may fancy one of his co workers. Or i should say employees as he's a manager.

He could have lost who knows.

 

I'll be going in there tomorrow night so if he's there i'll have some idea on the situation

 

That is why I said if you liked him, you should just ask him out straight up or tell him. By just leaving a number, that leaves so many possibilities and you can never know what happened.