Really Hurt And Unsure

[alitaheri]

Hey ive posted a couple times on here before. I went out with this girl for two years before she went off to college and really started to explore things. She tried drugs, alcohol the whole enchilada and put me in a ton of pain. She would ignore me, hang up, and screw me over repeadedly. I did everything for her and when i went to college i never did anything like this. She really seemed to change and i didnt know what to do. I finally gave up and didnt pick up her calls or anything else cuz i knew it wouldnt do me any good....(she'd just do it again and again) New years eve when she was back home she called me repeadely, asking me to call her back. she left me a myspace message and many many voicemails. finally she texted me saying she wants me back. when i got back home from a new years blast, she asked me to meet her, took me up to the mountains, and made me a picture-power point presentation telling me how much she loves me and needs me in her life. i yelled at her for what she had done to me....she cried...and then i eventually got back with her. we went out for a week before i really felt like us being together was wrong...it was weird but almost as if she hadnt changed for the better...it was just temporary. I broke up with her and we faught for a while because she was being a again...and then the day came where she hung up on me again and was drunk. I finally decided to change my number because it was the only way to make my will power and prevent her from contacting me. i have a couple questions.....1. i think shes a good person but why would she do this to me repeadely...2. will she ever change for the better...and realize to appreciate me..... please help with any comments...was what i did right?? was what i did ok? will she ever try to contact me again? what should i do??

 

ok recently she just posted a bunch of pictures of her on facebook with her and guys kissing each other on the cheeks and taking pictures and it seems like they are all having a blast....why would she do this...is she tryin to piss me off??? i really want to know

[BeStrongBeHappy]

it sounds like she is very young and immature, or she may have developed a drug/drinking problem that is impacting her life...

 

but if you have cut her off and broken up with her, then her MySpace pictures probably have nothing to do with you, just her, living her life as she wants...

 

re: changing for the 'better', she is who she is, and is obviously going a different direction in her life, drinking, drugging, whatever she wants to do, not what you want her to do... and in college, lots of people do experiment with lots of things, so she could grow out of it, but on her own timetable, not yours...

 

so you have to decide whether you want in or out of the relationship, based on who she is now and how she relates to you. you can't be angry for her having other friends if you have shut her out, but if you want to try to reconcile, then you may need to address her drinking/drugging first, and see if she wants to change, or is enjoying herself too much to be committed to someone in a relationship.

[Wandering_Sword]

Drugs and booze will drag her down, regardless of how good a person she is. The crap she's doing to herself could turn Mother Teresa into a fruit loop. Eventually, she'll drag you down too. So unless you feel like applying for sainthood, don't bother letting her into your life again until she shapes up.