Something nice to send him?

[vintageprada]

Hi!

My boyfriend (of 9 months) and I have been going through a bit of a rough spot for the last week or so, and things seem to be a bit better but, something is still a bit off. He's expressed that my communication with him has been a bit lacking, and I agree, it has. I haven't really let him know the real reasons why I truly love and care for him. I find myself taking these walls down slowly and surely, but he's explained that, he "really has no idea how I feel for him...". I've explained to him my problem and how I really do understand how he feels, he seems really down-and-out about it so I really want to show him how much he means to me.

 

I'd like to do something nice for him, like maybe send him a package or something special. He just moved into his new house and doesn't have much decor, so I was maybe thinking a framed picture of us, but that seems a bit lame and a bit too original. Anyone have any ideas?

 

Thanks!

[Beec]

Welcome to enotalone.

 

Before suggesting anything to do for him, someone should probably know more about the rough spot you have been going through.

[vintageprada]

Welcome to enotalone.

 

Before suggesting anything to do for him, someone should probably know more about the rough spot you have been going through.

 

 

You're right, I fixed it a bit. Thank you for your help.

[Beec]

OK, so the issue seems to be that he does not know how you feel, as per what he says. But what you are asking about is not saying it but showing it? And, I think that's good. Saying it is easy, showing it means more. Also, I bet he is wondering how much of a committment you have to the relationship. If he is not seeing you show it enough, then that might come to mind.

 

I kind of agree with you that a picture of the two of you framed is a bit lame. Frankly, i think that picture with the two of you in your place would be more significant than you putting it in his place.

 

So, instead of a picture, why not just put some effort into his new home. It may be his right now, but if he bought it, I am sure there is an idea that one day it will not be just his. If that's not the case, you saying nothing about him buying it could also be significant, so maybe you let him know that even if you don't live there together you think he made a good investment. But that remark should be an aside. Right now, just help him make it a home. Perhaps you show up this weekend ready to work and help him on it. Maybe you ask him what his plans are for it, and then begin to execute on one of them. If I carried out one of his plans, I would make sure it was not one that left much room for me interpreting things. If I bought him something, I'd make sure it was something I knew he wanted. It could be something as simple as cleaning his new kitchen, and then making a meal in it for him.

 

If you are not one to make big delcarations of love, you need to show that you care about him just because you do.

[vintageprada]

I really like how you look at my situation, Beec, thank you. Showing how I feel is definitely my method of handling my emotions toward and about him. The only problem is that he lives in Washington, and I'm in Nevada. He moved up there about a month ago because of his job, but these feelings that he's expressed to me about my lack of "expressing" had been reocurring even when he was still living here. And have found itself rearing it's ugly head. Which is awful on my part, being that I can't ever seem to get it right.

 

He's coming home in February for a week, and I'm definitely planning on housing him for a majority of his stay, and I'm making plenty of plans for dinners and such. Small things that say alot, I hope (fingers-crossed).

 

He's very big on exchanging small tokens of appreciation via email and post, and he's a very unique individual, so maybe if I just think about the things he treasures most, (ie; reading, music) I can find something that might truly show him how i feel. Maybe?

[_Jaffa_]

If you have a copy of one of his favourite photos or pictures you can get it blown up and put onto a canvas for his flat. There are lots of websites that do it and they look really good. My friend got one done of an ice cave for his girlfriend.

[Beec]

hhhmmm, I was a afraid there was some distance between the two of you. Not sure why, but it had popped into my head.

 

Is this his first home? If it is, and you know a style in which he would like to decorate, why not buy him a book on how that is done and write in it that you hope he creates a place in which you can both be comfortable?

[Gath]

How about one of those dolled up pictures you can get at a beauty salon? Frame it real nice, then he can put it on his desk. I know I'd like something like that (or just a favorite picture of you if he has one), especially in an ldr situation.