son ex and NC????

[Siro]

How do I do it?

I picked my son up for school today and saw her had to go to the apartment to get his stuff all good quick conversation all seemed well when I left. got home and called her we had a small talk conversation about 20 min and said we had to be friends for him.i went to do some laundry and all of asudden started crying about my son i have nobody to talk to about this I called her

 

we spoke about an hour and half. about my fears.(and more small talk) she might move to FL in a couple years she's dating someone long distance 6months who lives there now. I would die if she moved I think I would have to go also. I miss being with them so much. I see my son one hour a day (because i work at night) and on the weekends but it does not feel the same when he does come by he doesn't want to stay to long 2- 3 hours then he wants to go home so far he hasn't wanted to sleepover. i guess I'll wait till he's ready??

 

the new BF is buying expensive gifts for her and my son i have to hear about it and him from my son.when this guy does come up to visit he sees them sleeping together (I didn't ask he told me) and it feels like a knife in my gut

I don't think it's right but I can't say anything I wouldn't let him see me with another woman that way so soon I think it's a bad move what if it doesn't work out between them and there's another guy after this one.She thinks he'll be all right.We both came from divorced parents and look what happened to us ,this was one of my excuses not to get married although the wrong one I thougth we'd be together for ever and move to FL together my dreams of that are crushed

 

I don't see to mant posts about ex's and children anyboudy out there

 

MY son my ex their's a war going on in my head

[crow]

I am in a situation close to yours. My ex and I broke up and she and my daughter moved to another state where her family is from. She is now dating another guy. I miss my daughter so much, and I am trying to get my situation together to move their to be closer to my daughter. Hopefully I will be able to move very soon.

[Siro]

I've been trying LC but it hurts so much when I see her or hear her voice I want to call her now

i don't know what to do

[houdini]

Siro,

 

I'm dealing with the same situation and I wish I had an answer to, all I can say is that you're not alone and as we go through this time, all of us together will help eachother along the way to do what's right. Just know that you're not alone in this, I too have a son with my ex who lives in Las Vegas Nevada and I live in Central California and it's tough knowing I can't see him very much or that another man will be around my son soon if not already filling my shoes...thats the worst feeling ever but they've made thier choice (our ex's) and nothing we can do can change that but time and to let them realize on thier own what was best for them, if and when that happens where will be at in our healing???? how will we handle that????? or will it even matter months down the road because we've healed a bit and moved on and can deal with the lost relationship....I do know though as hard as it is, as many tears as I've cried and I'm sure you have cried there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and the lord and us here will be there for you... I know I have my low moments and at times I feel like giving up completely because of the hours and hours of thinking what it will be like without them in my life.... only time will tell what happens and we can only take one day at a time.....

[Siro]

thanks

I just really feeling down right now I had to call her just now to find out about my son's doctor appointment he has a kidney disease kept it to the point.she's still so sweet to me she sends food over looks to buy small things for my apartment.and still says she can't be with me now.Am I hang on NOW it holds so much weight with me

 

also this weekend is my sons birthday party for us to hang out at a happy occasion and see them go and me going to my lonely apartment when its over it hurts already

[need2bme]

houdini: My sitch was almost identical to yours, way back when. If it helps, my kids turned out alright. My kids had many stepfathers, but they always knew they had but one dad.

 

Just remember to keep close to them, as much as you can. There were some really bad times and some good times. Just stay in their lives and protect them as you would, if they were right there with you. I would also advise, moving to be close to them, if you could. I regret not doing that.

 

Siro: I am not a lawyer and I don't play one on tv, but I wish I would have fought harder to keep my kids closer to me. Don't allow your kids to be taken from you. I can only tell you that I did not want the kids to get separated from one another as they are all step(brothers and sisters).

 

Looking back; I should have moved to be close to them. If the kids are all yours, don't allow them to be taken so far that it is hard to see them. I don't believe in nasty custody fights, but I missed seeing my kids grow up.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[need2bme]

BTW, Siro, I think she is kind to you because she cares. I believe she still cares for you. Having a child with someone, builds a special bond. She will probably always love you.

 

However, she cannot be with you right now and that could be due to many reasons. I hung on for so long and everytime I see my ex, she makes me feel good and compliments me and would give me her last drop of food, if I needed it. That doesn't mean she still wants to be with me.

 

I will miss her always, but I have to learn to put those feelings somewhere. Feel the pain, but don't put your heart in a place in can get hurt. Don't look for those tender moments to verify that she still cares. YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT BUSINESS LIKE.

 

If you don't, you will end up like me. You will read into things that aren't there and you will kill your heart.

[need2bme]

Houdini: I just read part of your other thread. WOW! OK, so you tried the moving over there thing. Well, she wants space, so as a few people have stated, you have to give it as much as you can.

 

You have a right to see your son, but you must remember that this is delicate and the bottom line is you have to be there for your kids.

 

I can tell you that that is your ONLY deal. I did not stay in as much contact as I should have with my kids and althought they got through it, it would have been much nicer to see them on a regular basis.

 

Can you set it up with her so that you can at least see your son every month?

[Siro]

NC/LC 4 days

 

reason being we had a we had a blowout after my sons party she showed with a tiffany dimond heart neckles and earings

It felt like a knife in my heart I didn't buy it and with all the other stuff he buys them ugh! thats what I said when I saw it she parked her car and took it off

party was great kids had fun and so did I

 

I went back to her place after to spend some time with my son then she said sorry for wearing it I said I didn't know this guy was so serious like that "How could it be so serious he's 1500 miles away I haven't seen him in 3 weeks" and if i need rent money I'll sell it" she said

and then i had a big fight about him and she told me not to come by for awhile

 

before the argument She told me she had a baby shower on sat and asked me to watch our son

real reason so she and him can go out for v-day with him.

 

when we were together we never had a baby sitter and didn't get out at all

should I allow her to have fun or let her and him sit home like we had to do

 

I keep thinking about the relationship she says "they don't have " which was one of the things said before NC/LC

 

I will not falter