Couldn't get it in...

[itsbean07]

A few months ago my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, and we had some complications. To start off, we're both virgins and inexperienced. At first he had some trouble getting on the condom (thank god we had spares!). Once he got one on, he seemed to get nervous, and well, he couldn't get his penis in me. We had a rough time, and for some reason, it just wouldn't go in. First question, anything we are doing wrong? We will take any advice.

 

My boyfriend is very very afraid to try again. He thinks he's going to be letting me down if it happens again and that I’m going to be upset with him. I keep telling him he's not, and that I’m not upset with him at all for it happening. We were both nervous, things happen. But he is soo afraid that he's not going to be able to get it in. My second question, anything I can tell him to let him not be so afraid to try it again? I'm afraid he's going to be more nervous this time because it happened once already, and it's going to make things worse. Anything we can do to have a better chance of getting it in?

 

Please, Any advice would be great.

[Dan629]

Well I am on the guys perspective but I will give my advise. My first time I didn't have that problem because the woman it was with was not a virgin. But without being too graphic here is what I suggest. I know the condom has a little lubrication on it but if I were you guys I would try some foreplay to begin with. And I don't know if either of you have done anything oral but that works well. Either way if you are too nervous to do anything than just use your spit. lol I know this sounds gross but it works. After that just tell him to go slow and you guys will get it. Hope I was a help and didn't gross anyone out. haha

 

Good Luck

[Agathon]

Well it's normal.

 

Although I havn't had sex, I have had trouble.

 

First SEVERAL times I exposed my penis, I had a hard time maintaining an erection. I was nervous, it was my first time (not hers), so I told myself that I'd get used to it, and it was just nerves... and thats ALL it is.

 

You just have to break past the uncomfortable part. I don't know what you two do with each other, but if he's too nervous to be inside you, maybe you should try foreplay more?

 

Fondle each other, maybe some oral, etc etc. Just MO anyways...

 

At the VERY least... talk. Discuss, make a plan if you have to.

 

That's all I have.

[puff.tm.dragon]

I couldn't get it up the first time either. It was sorta embarrassing but the next day we tried again and it works.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Well, from what you've described, I think a few factors could be playing in here. One is that when something makes someone nervous or scared (like putting on a condom wrong..) they tend to lose their erection. Another problem could be that things just weren't wet enough, which you can help solve with lubricant.

 

If it's actually putting on the condoms that is stressing your boyfriend out, why not incorporate them into some other sexplay until he becomes more comfortable with putting the condoms on, etc? And remember, the important thing is that you're both comfortable and that both of you want intercourse. If you have doubts, just abstain.

[Dan629]

If you do not want him to be embarrassed putting the condoms on then do it for him. Thats what my ex did for me and it made me feel a lot more comfortable. It isn't brain surgery so you shouldn't have a problem

[itsbean07]

Thanks everyone for your help. I'll talk to him beforehand and when we're in the mood, get some more foreplay going. Hopefully all will work out for us the next time we try.

[Hannahleh]

I had the same problem... the first few times. ;/ It was really embarrassing, I thought there was something wrong with me. It makes it even harder if the guy is really afraid to hurt you. All I can say is practice. Everything'll click eventually.