Help for a guy trying to make moves.

[RedPenguin]

Ok, I have a history of being extremly shy and anti-social, but now I am around tons of georgous girls. Now I've always looked at girls, and used to get so nervous that I used too look way too much but my question is, if you see a great looking girl, do they normally like you to look at them, maintain eye contact and smile and is there looking too much or something that can make her lose interest? See, I just get a tad mixed up around this subject because I want to look at the girl at least enough for her to see me and let her know, I am in to her, but I don't want to look so much, she will get extremely nervous or be like is wrong with him or something.

 

It's just confusing for me as to what to do, due to the fact that I never did it before. Often, when I look at a pretty girl, and she smiles at me, it's like I'm stunned or something and confused as to what to do even though I kinda know what to do. I mean, it may be a "hey, what's up kinda smile", but it's like I will always only take it as a friendly smile and that's it.

 

I know this all may sound silly, but it's something that's really happening. Thanks for all replies.

[Beec]

I think the answers to all of the above is maybe. As far as eye contact, when prolonged it normally indicates, attraction, fear or aggression. If you really want asnwers, you should read up on body langauge, and them you'll know, not be asking someone to figure out something based on sketchy info. And if you learn it, read up also on moves you can makes test how she feels. If you touch her, lean your face in close to hers, and a few more, you should get different reactions.

[adahy]

I agree w/ Beec regarding body language, etc.

 

Also, there are books out there for miles on this subject (meeting women that is)...read them...what better subject is there to study? Regardless of any knowledge gained, at some point you just have to "go in". Try not to look at it as a big deal. That leads to anxiety and akwardness. Don't be afraid of getting 'shot down'...it really doesn't matter. You're friends might ride you about it, but so what...screw them. I'd prefer to get shot down any day, compared to that empty feeling you're stuck with from not approaching a girl. In some cases, that can stick with you for a lifetime. I'd much prefer a few minutes of uneasiness and throw my chips in the game.

[cantexplain]

I think the guys who don't struggle with his question are the ones going up and taking the risks of meeting these people.

 

I also understand that very pretty women complain guys don't approach them enough - we think they are too pretty for us or we think that they must not be available.

 

In a roomful of women I don't think you'd want to be hitting on them all - you'd want to be making just one or a few feel like they are special to you in this way.

 

And some risk is necessary. Don't let your fear of rejection prevent some great woman from getting to know you. When you sense the "no" take this has an opportunity to move on to the next potential. Trying won't kill you. The more you do it the easier it becomes. Keep thinking it as practice.

 

You are only as good as you next attempt at being real and kind and friendly and considerate and interested. Find and secure this honest place in you. Fera can make me do stupid things. I've learned to supplant fear with honesty, truth, risk, faith, openness (in a environment of reciprocation).

 

Go for it.

 

Many of these people could be checking you out just as much as you are them.

[RedPenguin]

I tried looking up body language and stuff but it's like I get constantly depressed and axietisitc. I mean, it's like I will feel constantly like I am horrible with women, even if it seems a girl is probably flirting. I mean, every now and then, if I have someone with me, they will always seem to notice way more than I do, they will be like, "she is defiantly checking you out" or "she smiled at you" and it's like I don't completely understand it or accept it. I mean why am I being so confused and not seeing? Is it all just depression? What can it be?

 

I mean this constantly happens when I am with a friend, I may look at a girl, and think dang, she is very attractive, and then think to myself, nah, I have no chance but then even though I didn't say anything about the girl to my friend, they often will end up saying "she was looking at you" or "she smiled at you" and it's like I never noticed it. It happened just a few days ago at our local mall, I looked at two girls, and said boy that one is pretty, then thought, forget it and got sad, but then the person with me said, do you know her? I said, no why? She said because she looked at you and smiled.

 

 

Please help me figure out what my problem is because it's extremely annoying.

It's like my mind can't figure it self out.

[adahy]

Well, you don't have a "problem" so to speak. It's all normal. Everybody struggles w/ the same things, they just express them differently. The girls you're checking out also have insecurities.

 

I think you know what you want, just not sure how to deal with it. At some point, you just gotta try. Again, there's lots of books that will help with your confidence, etc...but you can't go wrong with being honest. If someone doesn't appreciate that, at least you're mind can be at rest.

 

People spend their lives wrestling with this stuff...so don't worry too much about it or beat yourself up. Just try.

[cantexplain]

Practice man, practice.

[RedPenguin]

Well, I think for once, I am on the winning side instead of the losing side.

 

In my math class, we had this thing with Blackboard where were get extra credit for posting a message about ourselves and replying to two other people. Well there was this one girl, I thought was very pretty in my class and seemed very nice. At first it was like she didn't really notice me but I posted about myself and then saw a post from her and since you also had to reply to two other people, I posted some stuff about how her interests are similar to mine and since she said she was into animals like I am, I said I shoula noticed because she appeared like a very sweet and friendly attractive young girl.

 

Then the next day, I saw her in class, and boom, after a little while, she was looking at me constantly, we exchanged some smiles, and I gained an echo/mimic. I put my hand on my chin, she did the same. I put my hands on the table a certain way, she does exactly the same. I sit a certain way, she then does the exact same.

 

I will not be able to see her again for a few days but I truly feel I definatly hooked her. If someone doesn't think so, please reply, but I hope I can go further with her.

[Mr. Jones]

confidence is the key here...if you worry too much about little things like this, you'll have difficulty when they actually occur. Just be yourself, talk to girls like you would your guy friends..then throw in the interest factor ( eye contact etc.).

 

Put it this way, when it comes to showing interest, do things that would feel comfortable done to yourself.

[real2]

confidence is the key here...

 

Attractiveness determines if you get past the friendzone early.

[Beec]

Attractiveness determines if you get past the friendzone early.

 

And confidence in a man often makes him attractive.