Question for Guys Who Want to Play the Field

[peek-a-boo]

For all you guys out there who left your nice girlfriends because you felt you are not ready for a serious relationship yet and still want to play the field,

 

is there anything your ex-girlfriend could have done to make you want them back again??

[secret_agent_man]

Hi peek-a-boo,

 

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, I've been there before. My only advice is to live your own life and don't cling to the past. A man will see this as a very attractive thing, being that you can get on fine without him. I'm not suggesting that you jump into something new right away, but just that you spend a lot of time with close friends, and do activities to make you happy without dwelling on him. If he's the right one for ya, he'll come back.

 

If you do decide to do something, try to do it for the right reasons... you wouldn't want him to come back because of some head-game, and then realize in another month that he truly wants to be away from you. He is out of your control right now, so let him be himself and if things are going to work out, they just will.

 

Relax and go with the flow right now, you may end up finding that there is someone else out there that is perfect for you, and possibly better than your ex.

 

So, to sum it up, I would somehow (simple and relaxed) tell him how you feel about him, but that your life will not be on hold for him either. He will know that you care for him, and then he has the decision to make... it could take forever for him to decide, so don't let him run your life right now, stand up and be yourself!

 

Good luck!

S.A.M.

 

Ahhh, yes. and I'd like to add, it's not just men who do this, women do as well, as I'm sure many users of eNotalone.com can tell you!

[Superfly81]

Not push and try to be 'someone they can play with'.

 

Not abuse or use! Try to be somewhat more adventurous and ... a challenge.

 

Trust me, that's what you should do, being some kind of player myself.

 

By the way, sorry to hear you are in this situation!

[pimpcess]

I'm not a guy but would still like 2 share my opinion...

 

I think that it has nothing to do with the lady, I think its the man.

 

I think its a personal thing for them, there not ready, or they just want to play the field, it could be any reason, something that happened in the past. But don't blame yourself. I've been there myself, I thought it was me, but looking back now I see it was issues that he had to deal with himself.

 

Good luck

[peek-a-boo]

hi superfly

 

just curious abt your comments on being "a challenge"

 

my ex who has hurt me called and asked me out 3 times but got rejected each time, is that perceived as being "challenging" enough. i am also going away on a backpacking trip for 2 months, and think that got him worked up a bit?

 

truth is i still want him back but only if i can trust him again, and i can see that he is trying hard to get me back...

 

simply calling me up and making vague comments on his unhappiness in life and two "i'm sorry"s is not good enough for me....

 

i know at this stage he may be intimated by me coz i sounded pretty bitchy and unresponsive but i think if he really wants me back he won't give up yet and will try to do more isn't it? am i having too high expectations? or should 3 phonecalls be enough to give in??

 

its not that i want to play emotional games...but i don't want to be hurt again!!

 

i'm leaving for my trip tomorrow, should i make a move to call him or should i just hang loose and hope i won't regret not doing anything??

 

btw, thanks all of you for responding...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[confused_001]

i hate these games. but, it all appears so true.

I want my girl back SO bad, the only way I know how to do so as of now is to NOT call her. She doesn't want to be with me all of a sudden. I know she has interest in another guy. I went through the pleading to salvage our relationship, but it did no good. In fact, I believe it pushed us farther apart.

 

So I haven't heard from her in two weeks, nor have I called. But just yesterday I got an email from her. She didn't say anything about us. Just said she was saying hi. And she is starting school and needing to be preoccupied for a while. (whatever that means?) Sounds to me like a "Don't get any ideas about me emailing you" type of comment.

 

I haven't responded yet, hoping that she will wonder why and develop interest to know what I have been doing, and overall get her to start thinking about me again.

 

All the while I am almost suffering, but doing everything I can to not think about her, so in her time, maybe she will reconsider us again.

 

Damn i miss her.