How do you make friends??

[sweetheart21]

Ok, well I'm starting a course in about a week & I think its a good oppurtunity to make new friends. The problem is I am EXTREMELY shy. & I dont understand how I can make friends with someone if... everyone walks into the classroom, listens to the teacher & goes home. It would be rude to start a conversation in the middle of class right? And how do you talk to someone you dont know? Should I just randomly walk up to people and say Hi my names Tammy? That sounds kind of lame. & then once you start talking somehow, how do you go from just saying hi to being friends?

Sorry I know how dumb this sounds but I really have no clue. ANY ideas would be helpful. Thanks!

[robowarrior]

What benefit has being shy ever gave you? Zero so trash it!

Look, talking isn't meant to torture you. Its normal for people to talk to eachother so no one will blame you if you do, and if they do, then talk to someone else. However don't let yourself be your own worst enemy in meeting new people.

 

What is stopping you? worry this worry that. So that means that if you start thinking you are blocking yourself from talking, the answer?

 

Put your mind on zero , and just spit it out. Just pretend your a cow and have no mind of your own and can only say MOO! i mean that's what talking is all about ,99% is unimportant stuff. So just talk about anything,even garbage will do. Rediculous of course, but better then not talking which is even more boring.

[robowarrior]

Oh yeah i have another great tip. If you really want to improve your talking, just download winamp and listen to comedy central on it for one hour a day and do this every day. This way you can discover talking as a great way to have fun, instead of it being it a torture.

[sweetheart21]

Hey Ziggy, I think the asking questions thing is a good idea. I have tried this a few times before, but what happens is that we have a nice little chat about the weather or something similarly dumb… & then we walk off and that’s it. I don’t understand how that turns into a friendship?

Is it just after a whole bunch of the little chats that you end up being friends? Or do you have to do something?

 

Also if I was talking to someone before class should I sit next to them when we walk in the classroom? Would they get annoyed that I'm presuming that they want me to sit next to them?

[KIDD]

I use to have a problem with this but I'm getting better out of being shy.What I realised is to be yourself no matter what and if people don't like you for you, then it's "THEIR" problem not yours.This was my main problem and once I stopped caring about how others perceived me,it sorta got rid of me being shy.For instance, I went to a party on Friday and I hardly knew anyone.I just started talking with random people about things going on at the party from there.I think what makes people so shy is caring about what other people think about them. Once you build your confidence and talk more with people, it gets easier. Also don't let bad experiences ruin you! Just dust yourself off and try again.Also realise not everyone is talkative or will like you. Just continue to build confidence through conversating.

 

I find that talking about the class would be good ways to start conversations.I'm assuming all of the people in your class are about the same age group. Why not try discussing things that you and some other people have in common. Try talking about a movie you saw or maybe a popular tv show everyone watches.Or maybe you can ask them about their day and what are they doing on the weekend? Sometimes conversations flow with certain people and then it doesn't for others. It's just up to you to find your cliche of friends. Also participate in class discussions which I'm sure you've had or will have eventually. This would also be a good way for people to get to know you. Often, it will make people approach you too! It lets people know that you're social. I find that the more you open yourself up in class, the more people will talk to you. If you're shy,distant & quiet and you're always in the back of the class, no one will notice you.It shows that you don't want to be bothered also.

 

Hoped this helps and good luck!