How to get out of misery?

[endeavour33]

My ex bf of 5 years broke up with me about a year ago but things dragged between us until he started seeing someone else recently. He was my best friend before we started dating and I am completely devastated. We broke up parlty because we were in a long-distance relationship and that he couldn't stand being alone. I was somewhat surprised when he told me recetly that he has a new gf as not too long ago we were still discussing of starting things over and he showed me his sincerety to get back together.

 

I felt heart-broken and betrayed when I found out he's seeing someone and was determined to cut him out of my life. Yet, I am still in love with him. He called me from time to time to check on me and tells me that he misses me a lot. He told me that he's very confused now. He even said that he likes his new gf ok and she's just there to pass time. Yet I'm scared that I would believe his words and couldn't move on. Apart of me still wanted to stay in touch with him because I'm scared if we lose contact, his remaining feelings for me would be gone too. I know this is very stupid of me to think this way and I'm mad at myself for still having feelings for him.

 

In the past few weeks, he stopped contacting me. And I start to wonder if he has finally moved on. I sent him a x'mas prezie last month but he didn't call or email to say anything about it. I then call to check whether he received it and he then casually acknowledged it. He sounded so cold on the phone and was a complete different person. His attitudes just fluctuate so much and I find it hard to believe all the things he had told me .

 

I have been trying hard to get him out of my mind and yet I find it so hard. Can someone tell me whether he has moved on already? How do I get out of this mess?

[Rabican]

Id suggest you move on, emotionally, physically, etc. stop contacting him, stop sending gifts, calling, etc.

 

If he ever wants to contact you, and get back together... maybe give it a chance then. But for now, dont hold onto that false hope.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It sounds like he has moved on, or is getting more involved with the new girlfriend... I think if you were meant to be together, he would have worked with you to find a way to move closer together to be together, rather than just looking for a new girlfriend and forgetting about you...

 

i am very sorry to hear how painful this is to you... i have been in an LDR before too, and sometimes people just take the easy way out and sneak away with someone else rather than sticking with you and doing the harder task of putting the effort towards being together.

 

If someone will do this to you in an LDR, they would most likely eventually cheat on you in a marriage or if you were in the same town, so count yourself lucky that you didn't uproot your whole life to be with him, when he didn't have sufficient commitment to stick it out with you.

[Orlander]

I think you already know the answer to your questions endeavor33. It sounds like he has moved on. The only way to get out of this mess is to go through it. It's a tough road but you have two choices...either call him and ask him directly or start the healing process and move on.

 

 

Orlander

[endeavour33]

Thanks guys for the advice and support. Yes, I kinda know the answer myself already. This is actually not the first time. He cheated on me once in this LDR but he asked for another chance soon after. Thought things would be good again since then.

 

I don't know what is left of him that I still love about. Just find this very painful. Just hope this feeling will be over soon.