Never been kissed :-/

[DSJoka]

Ok let me thank you guys for being an open ear.

Right now I'm 23 years old, and still haven't even got a kiss.

Anyway I don't consider myself to be ugly, however I am overweight and have acne problems. I tried craigslist, okcupid, and matchdoctor. And most of the time I don't get replies to emails. I don't know why people can't be honest and reply to the damn email. lol. Anyway any advice would be appreciated. I'm looking for friends too, if you don't mind being my friend(even if its just online) that would be cool. So my picture is in my profile. Thanks for taking the time to read my post! Bye.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hi there,

 

Well, you look nice in your pic! But I wonder if the answer isn't to focus on online dating - from what I've read here and my own brief experience, women get stacks of emails from guys, and sometimes it's overwhelming. Not fair, not nice, but just a fact of life.

 

How about looking at your 'real' life? Going out more, doing more, meeting more people, broadening your social life, and getting to meet girls that way. In a relaxed way, so that girls go out for a drink with the funny, clever, smart [guitarist? volunteer? artist? new guy at work??] and then getting a spark going. Because it's about the personality, and someone with a wellrounded life and attitude is soooooooooooo attractive!!

 

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine - don't get disheartened, there is a girl out there who is going to fall for you head over heels.

[jengh]

Yeah, I agree. You do look attractive in your profile photo. I also agree to get out more, go to a club. What kind of hobbies and such are you interested in? Possibly find a group of people with similar interests.

[DSJoka]

Real life dating I wouldn't mind, but I guess Im too shy to ask a girl out. Also most women dont like bigger men epsically with acne.

[DSJoka]

The funny thing is , I'm a tutor so people know me and say hi and stuff. Sometimes I conversate with them. But it's asking a female for her phone number or prehaps for lunch or something I can't get too.

[LostInMyThoughts]

A couple things to think about.

 

There are plenty of girls out there who with bigger guys. Truthfully, most of those girls don't place a high emphasis on looks. It's more about a persons confidence, and how these girls feel when they are with these guys.

 

If you see your weight as being an issue (and I'm sure you've heard this before) you could try looking at making a few lifestyle changes that can lead to shedding pounds.

 

 

As for acne, (and again I'm sure you've heard this) you can try seeing a specialist to see if you can find a solution.

 

But I think the two real issues at play are: your shyness, and self confidence. Perceptions about weight and beauty do take it's toll on your confidence, but that stuff is only skin deep.

 

Do you love yourself?

[DSJoka]

I suppose I love myself, except when I get depressed or suicidal. I think it's mostly the shyness that is the factor. As for the acne and weight, I agree, I should be on a diet and working out, and I do attend to see a doctor for my acne. Thanks again for the advice everyone!

 

But I put this question to the table.

 

Do MOST women really overlook looks for personality? because I think most women need to attracted to a male before they look at there personality. What do you guys think?

[ryan4414]

Don't beat yourself up over the little stuff.

 

Just take care of yourself and don't feel down about things. Hang out with friends more and when they go out, ask to join. Make an effort to put yourself out there. Don't be shy either, if you have a story to tell, tell it. If you have a funny joke, tell that as well. Speak up and make yourself the life of the party. If you have a talent, try and develop that too.

 

Don't be concerned with your looks. If you truly feel uncomfortable, make an effort to go to the gym and look into a diet you feel works for you. As far as the acne problem goes, I had the same thing and I used the Proactiv stuff.

 

Good luck, you'll be a magnet in no time.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Well I hope you work through your shyness and confidence--I use to be depressed and suicidal, but after some hard work, I'm glad to say thats behind me now.

 

To answer your question: I think women do look past looks. But it takes time. Girls have to get to know you before they'll see the real beauty inside.

 

With my gf, she was totally oblivious of me existence. But, I just worked up the nerve to start talking to her, and after awhile she found herself attracted to me--even though I was never her type, adn at the time she first met me she wasn't attracted to me. But now I regurarly tap-dat- * * * so it works out.

 

Back to the subject, yes, I think that women tend to go for more than just looks. Looks are important, but what they see as beauty is defined a lot by things outside of looks.

 

Of course this post is full of generalizations.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I quite like bigger men - they can be a bit like bears. I know a lot of women who would happily date a bigger guy. Seriously. I think it's your lack of confidence that's holding you back, not your size. But maybe getting a bit fitter would give you that extra boost?

[DSJoka]

Thanks guys for all the positive feedback. For example heres a problem I have, I see a pretty girl or a girl I would like to get to know better. And then I think to myself that she is way to pretty, so she wouldn't want date me. I guess I shouldn't generalize like that, but thats how I think.

[iwishiknew]

Ok let me thank you guys for being an open ear.

Right now I'm 23 years old, and still haven't even got a kiss.

Anyway I don't consider myself to be ugly, however I am overweight and have acne problems. I tried craigslist, okcupid, and matchdoctor. And most of the time I don't get replies to emails. I don't know why people can't be honest and reply to the damn email. lol. Anyway any advice would be appreciated. I'm looking for friends too, if you don't mind being my friend(even if its just online) that would be cool. So my picture is in my profile. Thanks for taking the time to read my post! Bye.

 

 

I am also in the same shoes as you...I am 28 and going to be 29 this May and I still haven't had my first kiss yet..I have tried all of those dating websites that you have tried and I never got any responses back..I don't drink and I can't stand smoke so I don't go to the bar or club scene..So that limits me in finding girls because thats where majority of them go to these days...

 

I don't have alot of friends..I do go out..I go to the stores, the book store, walmart, and..I go to the park just about everyday and run my miles...Mostly where ever I go theres not alot of girls. If I do see some there always with their bf's or with a group of guys....If I see a girl at the park when I am running I look at her and I smile and she never looks at me, instead she just turns their head down.

 

I have asked out girls before but always been turndown and rejection for me..It has been like that since my early teens yrs in hs and college..Alot has to do with my height and appearance, I know that because I have been told that in my face many times...I try not to think of it that way but its not easy..I am a nice fun, friendly, outgoing guy but no girl yet has given me a chance or accepted me for who I am...I don't understand why its so hard and why girls don't find any interest in me or even give me a chance..I am almost 30 and I know when I hit 30 it will be a sad day for me..

 

The years are going by so fast, I can't believe that it has been 10 yrs since I graduated from Hs... It seems like to me that I am doomed..Is it possibly that I might be single for the rest of my life? I say that because during my youth, teenage yrs, early 20's, mid 20's, late 20's now almost 30 yrs old and no gf yet or even had my first kiss yet..Thats not right at all for me being that age and having no girls..It seems like that I was born to be single