Do I wish him a happy birthday and break NC?

[janeok]

I am so confused on what to do! My bf broke up with me two Fridays ago. I have been great with NC and have been pressing forward. His birthday is this Friday. Do I break NC and write him a quick email to wish him a happy one? If I do I just don't want him to think that we are buddy buddy. He hurt me (although I'm not angry with him).

 

Please advise!

 

thanks,

Janeok

[Orlander]

Is the relationship over for good?? If it is, then don't contact him to wish him a happy birthday.

 

Orlander

[Meow18]

Honestly, I don't think you should.

 

What would you be hoping to get out of it? Of course it's nice to acknowledge a person's birthday, but it's possible that it will create more hurt than anything.

 

You have been doing great with no contact. Stick with it.. you don't want to be pushed back to square one just for having nice intentions.

[coollady1957]

I agree that you should keep NC and not contact him to wish him happy birthday. You have come along great so far with NC, and if I were you I just wouldn't jeopardize the progress you have made the last few weeks. Just keep doing what you are doing and pressing on with your life in a positive way.

[janeok]

I don't know if there will be a reconciliation. I have been doing no contact pretty much ever since it happened a week 1/2 ago. I'm not angry with him, just sad and disappointed. But I also don't want him to think that we are buddies now. I want him to wonder...

 

I am going to take everyones' advice and not contact him. I don't want to move backwards and be angry at myself for doing so.

 

thanks you guys.

 

-janeok

[i2oadi2unnei2]

IMHO, don't send anything. Not even a present. 1.5wk of NC is still a bit raw and not contacting him w/ his upcoming bday will make you a stronger person, of course unless you are fishing for a reaction. You're healing very well

[janeok]

Thanks i2oadi2unnei2. I think you are right. And what happens if his reaction is not positive, or doesn't show that he wants me back. I don't need to face that kind of rejection again.

[Honey Pumpkin]

No, let it go. Because you're hoping for a response, and you will be hurt no matter what. Either he will ignore it, or you will get a cool 'thanks'.

 

Also - and not to be game playing here, exactly - but you NOT sending a birthday text will actually make him notice you more than you sending a text. That shouldn't be the main reason why you don't, btw, but just to point that out!

 

Be nice to yourself - it's still early days...

[janeok]

Thanks you guys so much! I'm having a hard afternoon. And miss him a lot. I met my ex through a friend. This friend is also my ex's roommate. I wrote my friend a quick email to tell him that "I missed him (my friend) and that as soon as I get through this (get over the pain of the break up) that I hope to hang out with him soon.

 

He wrote back a nice email saying that "he missed me too, that there were not as many laughs around the house, and that he knows I can get through this."

 

It was a great email, but it still made me sad. I know that he can't break the trust of my ex and I would never put him in that position. But by him saying "I know you can get through this," definitely signifies to me that my ex has told him that the relationship is completely over.

 

I know what you are all going to say, but it's still hard...

and it's just sad...

[Wandering_Sword]

I know where you're coming from, but keep holding on. For you, NC is the best way. Keep it up you're on the right path