I just can't get over her

[don87gn]

To make my story short...my ex out of the blue dumped me a month ago after going with her for 1.5 years...she is 18 and i am 20 both in colleges closeby...the reason she dumped me is because she met some new guy while still seeing me and she said i was starting to get boring and the relationship in general was boring to her...that this guy made her decide to dump me for him...

 

we still talk alot...she keeps telling me that this guy of hers isn't gonna work out because he lives so far away and hardly ever sees him...i went over to her house today (because we were both home from school for the weekend) and i gave her a dozen roses and wrote a little letter to her asking her to reconsider everything and come back to me...she told me that she doesn't know yet and i told her that i wasn't gonna pressure her...her parents keep telling her to go back out with me...hell her whole family is doing it...this guy she is seeing is no good...he has no future, not going to college...lives with him brother or something...

 

i am thinking that this guy of hers is just a "fling" for a while just to take her mind off of things...i don't know if they have had sex yet because me and her are both virgins and we never intended on having sex until we married...but she has changed alot since the breakup and i don't know if she has done it with him or not...should i even take this girl back if she decides she wants to get back with me? i mean i feel so hurt by all this...things weren't even that bad...she was just spoiled and young and wanted to see what else was out there...i understand that to a point but common she keeps torturing me by telling me that we may get back together sometime and she keeps telling me all the negative things about this guy...what should i do? wait it out? actually no i am not doing that...i am still looking HARD to find another girl right now but i can't find anyone...i am having a hard time because all i think about is my ex...

[beejy04]

Hey, i may still only be 17 but im gong through a similar situation. It could very well be that she is just trying to spread her wings, as i was once told by someone very knowledgable. shes trying to have fun and explore the world of dating. she definitely has feelings for you if shes considering this right now. it sounds to me like shes leading you on, but at the same time, she must care for you or she would just end it. I dont think that they have had sex. if her intention was to wait until she was married, i hardly think she would even consider it with someone like him. rest assured my friend, she is considering your proposal, but perhaps you should spice things up a bit and do something fun! take her somewhere or do something unexpected!

[don87gn]

well i already tried that today actually...i unexpectedly showed up at her house and got her a dozen roses and she was happy to see me...her parents couldn't believe and almost started crying...but she's still seeing this guy and she doesn't know what to do about him...i guess as her mom put it "this guy is her boy toy right now" which i have no idea what that means...but hopefully she quits seeing this guy SOON...i know she misses me because she told her mom that she wanted to come visit me this weekend at my work but her mom said no because it wasn't right...she's just very mixed up right now and i think this guy of hers right now is just a temporary fix in her mind to take things off her mind...it isn't going to last i can smell it

[Breaker24]

I understand a lot of what you're going through. Much of what you're facing I've been dealing with for the past month. Her family just can't understand why we broke up, and I'm still shocked the whole thing has happened. I agree with beejy04 in that she's probably looking to spread her wings. With younger girls it may be their first time in a GOOD relationship and that can sometimes lead them to believe that something better may be out there.

 

I think that if she's truly worth something to you, try to keep her, but understand that she's got to be willing to come back to you. Don't be overly aggressive otherwise you may push her away, which is what I've done. Plus it really lowers your self-esteem. I'll be watching this topic to see what others have said.

[don87gn]

well yesterday's stunt that i pulled will be the LAST time i talk to her...now it's all up to her...i am no longer contacting her whether it be email or phone...she is gonna have to come BEGGING on hands and knees if she wants to get back with me...lots of guys are telling me to just move on because she isn't worth the bs...there's plenty of other girls who will love me as much as i love them...if this girl DOES happen to break it off with this guy and wants to come back with me she's gonna have to do ALOT of impressing me...period.