OK, I talked to the ex

[dnozzle]

She kept emailing me yesterday. I finally replied to one of them and told her I was not interested in responding to her, because it always turned into a one-sided conversation of me giving her info and her giving none in return. She said she was willing to talk to me that night, so we did.

 

It was great. Very awkward at first. We talked about the weather for about 15 minutes. Then we talked about life a bit. What we have been doing and what's new. We talked a lot about our depressions, our symptoms, our histories, etc. And we talked about our mutual friends, and the message boards we both still like to visit, and laid out some ground rules for that in the future.

 

All in all it was an awesome conversation. There was no mention of getting back together, or even talking again. It was just an air-clearing that I think we were both wanting. I do think she wants to try again with me at some point in the distant future when she is over her depression, but I am still sure that I do not want that. Never even had a moment of weakness when talking to her...so I think that is a great sign that I have truly moved on.

 

It was good to talk again, and get some answers to questions that were still unanswered, and it is good to be on cordial terms, even though I do not consider her a friend, love, or anything else. I don't want to hate her anymore, and last night did a lot toward that.

 

Anyway, I figured I should post about this, just to be honest about things.

[BONO]

So now what ?

 

 

You back into NC or LC ?

 

 

 

Where does this leave you mate, more confused or focused on the way forward ?

 

 

Scruff

[dnozzle]

I would say we are back to NC. I guess it could be LC, but very very limited.

 

It left me feeling very good about things. I was good to hear what was going on with her, where she was mentally, and just to establish some form of communication. Like I said, I have no expectations or desires to get back together at all, but I also don't want to continue hating her either. Talking to her helped me move from hate to indifference. It was also great to be able to get some things said that I needed to say to her, and she was ready to hear them and understood them.

 

I do know that I would not have been ready for this a few weeks ago, but the timing was just right last night to get it over with, and I feel really great about it. No regrets at all.

 

I guess if there was advice for me to offer as a result of this it would be: do not even entertain the idea of talking to an ex until you are sure you are over it, and that you are able to hear and accept any news they give you. I was finally ready for that, and it went well.